Undisclosed Desires
by Sucker For Jalice
Summary: I hate feigning happiness around everyone I love. I'm tired of hurting them. But I can't let them know what happened to me 8 years ago. But someday or somehow, that secret will soon have to be disclosed.
1. If Only They Knew

Hey everyone. I'm not very pleased to write this story, but my cousin suggested I should. She told me to just pour my heart out through Alice. I didn't really want to, but she insisted.... just for her. Also, I am sorry that I have to make this adorable little pixie an abuse victim. And by the way... the soundtrack for this story is "Undisclosed Desires" by Muse. I just thought it would be suitable for this story.

Some of these events are actually based on yours truly. Sorry.

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Chapter 1: If Only they knew

The day was gray and here I am sitting on my front porch. I rested my chin on the palm of my hand, and watched my little sister scribble childish things on the sidewalk with a decrepit pink chalk. Her squeals of excitement brought a small smile to my elfin face. She stood up and started brushing dirt off her white sundress, leaving a couple of pink smears. She slowly turned to my direction with a triumphant grin.

"Mary Alice!", she called, beckoning me with those tiny pink stained fingers. I sighed as I got to my feet. I strolled to where she stood, and gently patted her long ebony hair.

"What is it, Cynthia?", I asked her, tucking her hair behind her ears. She pointed at her masterpiece down in front of us. My eyes were glued to the cemented pavement, taking in all of her innocent work. She drew three lumpy figures in three different colors and sizes. The tallest one was purple, embracing two little ones. Her hair was in a neat ponytail, that rested in front of her shoulders. In her loving arms, there were her beloved daughters. One of them was yellow and the smallest was pink. The pink girl, had very long hair and a huge smile on her petite face. She held on to her big sister's hand as if she never wanted to let go. I fought back a gasp as I examined the yellow girl. Unlike the huge smiles that her mother and baby sister wore, this one only had a slanted line for a mouth. It looked like an unsure smile to me. Her hair was short and sprawled in different directions. I could feel my eyes watering as I saw the words at the bottom. _Happy Family_, it reads. My cartoonish impostor seemed unhappy to belong with such a loving family.... just like me.

I_s this what she thought of me? The total wreck of a big sister? _I cleared my head from that assumption and pulled Cynthia into a loving hug. _Oh, Cynthia, if only you knew how truly miserable I am.__ That way I won't have to hurt you anymore with my lies.  
_

"Beautiful, Sweetie", I commented, my voice slightly cracking. I hope she doesn't catch on to my sudden gloom. She wrapped her own little arms around me, returning her sisterly affection to me.

Desperate to lighten the mood, I tried to say something witty.

"Cindy, why am I yellow?"

She let go of me, and skipped to observe her work.

"Mommy said it is your favorite color", she explained, bending over to pick up the scattered pieces of chalk.

"Oh", I said quietly, regretting questioning her. Correction, yellow _was_ my favorite.... eight years ago. It changed to black ever since that unexpected _incident _happened_._

"Want to know what my favorite color is?", she asked, unaware that I already knew the answer. I smiled at her, as a sign for her to tell me.

"PINK!", Cynthia shrilled happily, jumping at the same time. I chuckled at her childish instincts. I soon frowned as I saw little of me in her. She was a complete replica of me when I was her age. So care-free, naive, and extremely energetic. My hair was just as long and luscious as hers, both of our eyes shone with such unbreakable innocence, and we shared the ability to create and imagine a world of pure fantasy. But now... Cynthia is the only one who has all that. I'm completely broken. It hurts to just be around Cynthia at times.

"Mary Alice?"

I didn't know I spaced out until Cynthia grabbed my hand, and shook it to get my attention.

"Mary Alice?", she repeated my name. I looked down at her, and squeezed her little hand in mine.

"I think we should go inside", I suggested, now looking up at the grayish sky. It looks like it's going to rain. "Mommy might be done with supper."

She nodded. I helped her pick up all of the discarded pieces of chalk and we both went in the house.

"MOMMY!"screamed my baby sister, running to the kitchen. I closed the door behind me, and kicked off my favorite black chucks. I bent down to pick them up, and headed upstairs to my bedroom.

I opened the door and went in.

My room used to be so brightly colored when I was ten. I stared blankly at the dramatic change of it all. The walls were a boring white, with nothing plastered on them. No posters, pictures, nothing. Not even girlie stickers. My furniture included a small bed covered with black pinstripe bedsheets, and a large black desk sitting in a corner. My mother constantly begs me to redecorate. She often teases me that it resembles an asylum. I kept ignoring her. _Why should I redecorate? Leave my personal asylum alone.  
_

I threw my chucks somewhere as I went to sit on my bed. Once I did, I laid down and tried thinking of something completely optimistic._ Chirping birds. _Umm no. _Pink unicorns. _Of course not. _Maybe hearts and rainbows? _Not helping. All that stuff reminds me of what life used to be for me. No matter how sweet any of those things are... they always give me bad memories of the person who stole my innocence_. Especially since it's the one person I thought to be safe with.... even through problems such as these. How could he? He was my...  
_

"Oh God", I choked out, letting the tears shower my cheeks. I turned over to lay on my stomach and grabbed my pillow. I sobbed and screamed into, letting it all out. All the frustration. All that horrible pain. I still can't believe he did that to me. _How could he?! How the fuck could anyone harm a defenseless child? That sick bastard!_

Throughout these years, I have kept _that _bottled up. I never told anyone. I was so ashamed to say anything..or maybe just dead scared that he'll do something even worse. What would people say, think, or do if I confessed. Above all, mommy is my main concern. It'll tear her apart. She's too fragile to handle something like this, especially since it's about one of her precious daughters.

That horrible secret has destroyed everything important to me. My relationship with my mother has never been the same. I used to be very sociable when I was little but... well I kept to myself since... _Let it all out, Alice__._

There was a soft knock on my door, which startled me. I pulled my face away from the drenched pillow and straightened myself up. I wiped the remaining tears with the back of my hand.

"Come in." I tried to act normal when I saw my mother come in, looking as gorgeous as ever. Why couldn't I be as pretty as her? She and Cynthia had everything going on. The long black locks, the radiant pale complexion, hypnotizing grayish-violet eyes, and the amazing wit. I felt my stomach twist into knots. _Why did he do it? Did I ever provoke him? Was it my fault?_

She sat on the bed next to me and ran her gentle fingers through my short hair. I leaned into her touch. Her hand slid down from my hair to cup my chin, and tilted my head up to meet her eyes. I was lost in them. Such pretty eyes she had. The most beautiful off-gray color I've ever seen. They were so filled with love and concern for me. _Should I tell her? _

"Sweetheart?" Her soothing voice was also adorned with concern. _Don't look at me like that, Mommy_.I shook my head, letting her know that there was nothing wrong with me.

"There's a plate of spaghetti waiting for you downstairs", she informed me, now stroking my cheek. I caught her staring at something behind me and then back at my face.

"I'll eat later, Mommy", I croaked, watching her getting up to leave. She reached door and glanced back at me.

"I'll store it for you, Sweetie", she promised. And with that she left me alone with my thoughts. I turned to where she was staring at a few minutes ago. I discovered that my wet pillow had caught her attention. _Shit, I forgot to turn it over. Now she's really worried._

Once her footsteps were dying away, I laid back again. The last thing I want is food. I couldn't eat with all this guilt. I was hurting my poor mother and baby sister. I don't know what to do. Should I tell them? No, I may get them in trouble with _him. _I'm hurting them regardless by letting them watch me suffer in silence_. _I need help. I'm so depressed. And depression can kill someone. I don't want to die yet. I only lived for 18 years._ I'm fucked._

I heard droplets of water colliding against my window. My eyelids began to close wearily. Pouring my heart out on the pillow has left me exhausted. Within seconds, I let the rain lull me to sleep. _  
_

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Umm... this was difficult. Well...

If you guys don't like it or seem comfortable to where this is going...please tell me. That way I could discontinue it. Thank you.


	2. Mary, Quite Contrary

Hey everyone. Thank you for not getting mad at this story. My cousin says I should just stop being so fucking modest. _Geez, give me a break, Ellie. Sometimes modesty can work miracles. Shit._ That bitch. Jk. Ummm... enjoy this chapter :/

Oh! And I used a quote from Juno... it's one of my favorite ones. _  
_

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Chapter 2: Mary, Quite Contrary

_There were hands. Big strong hands. And those big strong hands were grabbing my naked body in all the wrong places. I tried my hardest to swat them away, but they were so persistent._

_"Mary, don't fuss." growled a demonic voice. He had me trapped under him. I squirmed and thrashed with all my might. He forced my arms down with his and knelt on both my legs to keep me perfectly still. _

_"I just want to see how grown up you are, kiddo." he sneered. The demon leaned more into me. I felt the bile rise to my throat when his arousal brushed against my abdomen. He hissed in pleasure at the disturbing contact. "I missed you so much, princess."_

_"Please," I pleaded, trying to budge under him, "not again."_

_He smirked at me as he pinned my hands above my head with one strong hand. The other settled down his groin. _

_"Stop."_

_"You kept me waiting for so long, Mary." he groaned as he nipped and sucked on my neck. "Mmm, my little Mary."_

_I began to feel dizzy when I heard him fumble with his belt. My eyes were tightly shut, not wanting to see what was coming._

I woke up, gasping with horror and entirely covered in sweat. I hastily ripped the bedsheets away from my body, and sighed in relief at how fully clothed I am. _It was only a dream, Alice. Another horrible dream. _

I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my forehead on them. Rocking myself back and forth, I let the tears escape down my face as I thought about that nightmare.

There wasn't a time when I stopped having nightly visions _him _finally finding me. After he did what he did, nightmares conquered my sweet dreams...for eight fucking years.

"Sweetheart, are you awake?" asked my mother from behind my door. "You've slept for quite some time."

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I haven't heard her lithe footsteps. I lifted my head up and stared at the white door.

"I'm awake, mommy." I answered. I waited for her to say something else, but noticed rays of gold flashing through my window.

"Mommy, what time is it?" Getting off the bed, I stood in front of the window and peeked through the blinds. _Wow, I slept very early_, I thought, mesmerized by the glorious sunny morning.

"It's 10:35." she responded. "Listen, sweetie, I want you to hurry up and get dressed."

_Ugh, why? _

"What for?"

I heard her let out a quick breath.

"I want you and Cindy to accompany me to Walmart."

"Couldn't you go alone?" I whined, running a trembling hand through my hair. "I can stay with Cynthia." I hated Walmart.

"No, you could really use a tan," she teased, "and besides... I can't always buy your crap without you deciding it's really what you want."

I sighed in defeat. Crap, she's right. Last time, I was in desperate need for a maxi pad. After I briefly told her what I wanted _for the hundredth time, _she bought a box of goddamn tampons. I threw a huge fit while she sang Mary Mary Quite Contrary.

"Fine." I groaned as I headed straight to my bathroom.

"Excellente!" she exclaimed happily and pelted away.

"I don't want to go." I muttered to myself, again messing with my tousled hair, only this time staring at the dreaded mirror. The small girl stared back at me, imitating every move I made. Who is this wretch? And why does she look like me? _Idiot, it is you._

"Yep, it is likely so." I whispered, taking in the disheveled state of my reflection. Her short dark hair was sticking out everywhere. Her wide almond shaped gray eyes shone with pure depression. Her tiny nose scrunched up while her plump bottom lip quivered. She looked like she was about to cry.

I tore my eyes away from the teary-eyed little girl and reached for my toothbrush.

I didn't dare look in the mirror, as I brushed my teeth. Little droplets of salty water fell on my wrist, and began to slide down to my elbow. _Enough crying. Just get ready._

I agreed with my head and rinsed. Satisfied with my mouth's cleanliness, I strode over to turn on the shower.

"Just what I needed." I sighed in bliss when I got in. The warm sprinkles of water caressed me as I began to lather myself with dove soap.

"Mmm..." I emitted, enjoying the marvelous aroma coming from the soap.

I could stay in here forever, just washing away all my stress, but I know my mother would get very impatient if I delayed. Unwillingly, I forced myself out of the amazing shower. I yanked a fluffy white towel from a nearby silver bar and wrapped it around me.

"What to wear?" I asked myself, stumbling to my boring bedroom. I dropped my towel and ran to my closet.

"What to wear?" I repeated. I scanned my closet, which contained a number of hanged sweaters and different pairs of jeans, and a small white drawer. _Who kept a drawer in a closet? Honestly? Oh.. wait.. I did. 'Cause I'm weird like that.  
_

I rummaged through the drawer and took out a pair of white cotton panties and a simple white bra. I positioned myself to put them on , but froze as I spotted a cherry embroidered in front of the cotton material. _Didn't the cherry mean...? Yes, it certainly meant that. And I sure as hell wasn't __that_ _anymore... for the longest time._

Repulsed, I stuffed the holy garment back in the drawer and replaced it with black ones.

I managed to get dressed in a simple blue Stewie t-shirt, a pair of denim jeans, my black chucks, and an incredibly huge black sweater. Happy with my casualness, I left.

* * *

"Mommy, it's hot!" whined Cynthia, playing with the buttons of her window seat.

"Cindy, stop messing with the window!" scolded mommy, throwing glances at my little sister through the front view mirror. Cynthia huffed in annoyance as she listened to mom's orders. Pleased to see her behave, mommy focused on the road. I sat in the passenger seat, staring into space.

"Mary?" Her voice brought me back to Earth. I nodded at my mother, letting her know that she has my full attention.

"I've been meaning to ask you something last night, but I couldn't get around to it." she said, her eyes glued on the road.

I remained silent. She wasn't done talking.

"You seemed too bothered, so I wanted to give you more time to adjust."

"I'm well adjusted now, tell me." I assured her. She pursed her lips and furrowed her brows. _Uh oh. I know that look_. It's something very unpleasant. Well... for her.

"Mom, spill it."

"Oh, we're here!" she gasped, pulling into Walmart's parking lot. "I'll tell you later."

"Mommy, park there!" shrieked Cindy, pointing at a handicap parking.

"As much as I want to, sweetie, I can't." confessed our mother, now settling between a red cadillac and a green beetle volkswagen.

"Mommy, you parked too far!"

"Cynthia Lynn Brandon, if you don't settle down, I'm going to kick your little monkey butt!"

Cynthia stopped with her nonsense and kept her childish rants to herself. Mommy turned off the car engine and shooed us out.

"Ooh!" shrilled Cindy, staring open-mouthed at the green volkswagen. She rushed to my side and playfully punched my arm. "Punch Buggy, no punch back!"

Playing along with her little mindless game, I hung my head down in defeat. I can't punch her back, so I tripped her.

The three of us made it to the doors which automatically opened.

"Hi, welcome to Walmart!" greeted a tall, lanky young man all clad in Walmart's work clothes. Judging by his dark-bronze complexion, slanted brown eyes, high strong cheek bones, and shoulder length black hair, he was Native American. Probably Quileute...it's the only tribe I'm familiar with in Washington State.

We thanked him and went off to get whatever the hell we needed.

"Oh shit! " swore mommy, smacking a hand to her forehead. "Can one of you girls grab a cart from outside?"

"I'll do it!" piped up Cynthia, jumping in front of mommy, waving her little arms in the air.

"Mary, go with her." she told me. Cynthia looked offended as she crossed her arms and glared at mom.

"I'm eight years old, mother," she spat," I'm almost a responsible teenager." And with that, she stormed off to fetch a cart.

Mommy groaned in aggravation at my baby sister's sass. In a couple of minutes, Cynthia returned, pushing a giant metallic cart.

"See?" she said gesturing at her accomplishment. "I'm old enough to manage."

"Okay, monkey-butt." spewed mommy, pinching Cindy's cheeks. She withdrew her hands from the eight-year old's face and placed them on the cart. From then on, we began to shop.

"Mommy, this one!" yelled Cynthia, thrusting a box of Reese's Cup Cereal up to mommy's face.

Mom took the orange box from Cindy's hands and put it back on its shelf. Cynthia got pissy.

"Mary, don't you want anything?" asked my mother.

"Not really." I mumbled, shoving my hands in my sweater's pockets.

"Are you sure, sweet--I said no, Cynthia!"

"But it's candy for breakfast, mommy!"

"Cynthia, I swear to God....."

Heartbroken, Cynthia bid farewell to her beloved cereal and returned it to its rightful place.

"Mary Alice, please get something." demanded mommy, still glaring at Cindy. "Your sister has this whole cart filled with her needs..."

"Ok, fine!" Without looking, I extended my left arm out to grab whatever on the damn shelf. My face contorted in disapproval when my fingers touched something that almost felt like curled silk ribbons. _How strange? Cereal boxes weren't meant to feel this amazing? The pointy edges always cut my fingers._

"Ow!"

_Oh God. What did I just grab? _My eyes clenched together tightly while I slowly turned to see what I had in my hand. _  
_

"Mary Alice, is _that_ what you want?" I heard my mother say and then she whispered "Nice pick."

Biting my bottom lip nervously, I opened my eyes. My cheeks were on fire as soon I saw what... _Ummm I mean... _who I was grabbing. My heart sunk to the pit of my stomach as I took in his breathtaking beauty. Oh my fucking God, where do I begin. His glorious curls were the color of sunshine. _My sunshine. Cut it out, Alice..you barely know this lovely stranger. _His eyes were like blue crystal orbs that I could just gaze into forever. His face was pulled in an adorable pained grimace from me grabbing him. Such an angelic face he had...but quite rugged. He just had a face that was carved by Greek Gods. Apart from the bulky plaid shirt he wore, I could tell something majestic hid beneath them and also what lurked down those faded jeans of his. _Wow, perverted much, Alice? That's a first._

"This is more painful for me than it is for you, please let go." he said embarrassment engraved in his voice, also as attractive as he is. I didn't want to let go. I couldn't let go. My fingers were locked in his curls. They felt so right in them.

His knees were bent slightly to match my height, since I'm the one who randomly pulled him. This must be very awkward for him as it is for me. Considering the fact that we were drawing unwanted attention from curious Walmart customers.

"I'm so happy you finally found something, Mary," piped my mother, smirking behind me, "but I'm afraid this man is not on sale."

Her sly little comment made me remove my hold on him.

"I'm sorry." I told him, my face still burning with humiliation. He straightened up and placed a shaky hand where mine had been. _Shit, he's tall._ Now that he no longer bent at the knees, he towered over me. I truly feel like a dwarf next to him. Scared shit by our height difference, I quickly hurried behind mommy. _Wimp._

I heard him chuckle and say "No worries." And pretty soon, I heard him walk away.

My mother turned around to face me with a humorous look on her face.

"He was cute, wasn't he, Mary Alice?"

I glared daggers at her. _Don't make this worse than it already is, mother._

"Look at your face, sweetheart, you're blushing!"

"Mother, stop it." I barked at her.

"Admit it, Mary," she taunted me, pinching my reddened cheeks "he was a fine specimen and you know it!"

I swatted her hands away from my face, and pulled my hood up to hide my blush.

"Don't deny it."

I ignored her as I sang a chorus of _I'm not listening_ in my head.

"Mary Mary quite contrary, how does your garden grow? " she sang pulling me into her loving embrace. _Oh god, not the dreadful nursery rhyme. _

"Mommy, don't start!" I struggled to pull myself from her arms, but Cynthia made it more harder to do so. I was sandwiched between their embraces.

They both began to sing at me. "With silver bells and cockleshells, and pretty maids all in a row."

Who ever made this sick song up, I will take great pleasure in killing him or her.

* * *

Lol, the same accidental shopping incident happened to my cousin Charlotte. She kept telling the poor man "SORRY!!! Mr.!!!!" I luv that girl. :P


	3. Mother, please don't

Hi! Thank you for the reviews! I'm happy this does not suck. I hope not..... Just for to you let you all know, one of my stories is undergoing some work. :/ Sorry

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Chapter 3: Mother, please don't

We were home at last. I couldn't wait to lock myself in my room and sleep off today's embarrassment without interruptions. But first, the groceries needed to be put away. I helped carry the final three bags to the kitchen and placed them on top of the table. I winced as both my hands stung uncomfortably from all that heavy lifting. I bent my fingers carefully to ease the stinging sensation, and it worked.

"Where's my Captain Crunch?" asked Cynthia, anxiously searching through the bags. Luckily for her, the three of the ones I carried, contained the cereal. I pulled it out and handed it to her. She happily took it and held it tightly to her undeveloped chest.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she chanted. She twirled around the polished wooden floor, like the perfect ballerina she is. I scowled at the thought of ballet. I used to have classes back in the day._ "I was the best."_ I thought rather smug at my childish memories.

"What's with that smile, Mary?" my mother said, just coming in. She patted the twirling little girl on the head. Cynthia danced out of the kitchen, leaving me and mommy alone.

"Nothing, mommy." I lied, unpacking cans of Campbell's chicken soup from grocery bag closest to me.

"Nonsense." she winked cheekily at me. "That smile is for a certain boy with blond curls."

My lips quickly formed into a frown. "_Why did you have to bring that up, mother?_" My cheeks suddenly began to heat up again._ "Mommy, I hate you."_

"I was right, wasn't I?" she said, noticing how rosy I've become.

I cleared my throat. "So, mommy.." I said, desperate to change the subject, "what were you meaning to tell me earlier?"

The excited gleam on her face vanished when I reminded her. I crumpled the now empty plastic bag and reached for another one. If I empty this one out, she'll have sometime to collect herself. What ever was on her mind, I knew it was seriously bothersome._ For her_, I mean.

"Mary?"

"Mother?" I answered, crumpling the second bag and now stacking the Campbell cans on top of one another.

"Sweetheart, listen... I've been thinking so much about you."

"I think about you too, mommy." I smirked at her. Carefully, I carried the six stacked cans of soup towards the kitchen counter. I drew out a horrified gasp as the cans wobbled slightly. _"Balance, you shit, balance."_

Mommy giggled a bit but was serious again. "I really want the best for you, Mary."

"Ditto." I finally made it to the counter, and destroyed the canned tower. I have a feeling this conversation was heading to a bad direction. I started to feel queasy.

"I think it's best if you live in Biloxi from now on." The dreaded words have escaped from her lips. And they were like a slap in the face.

"Mary, it's for your own good. It kills me have to let you go."

There was an awkward silence between us. The only thing that could be heard were my tears streaming unto the counter.

"Sweetie, say something." I felt her reach out to touch me, but I edged away from her.

"I've spoken with your father." She urged on, and my heart thumped hard. "He was thrilled." I'm going to be sick. _"Of course he was thrilled._"

_"Momm_y, _no." _I mentally begged. Why is she doing this to me? What have I done to deserve this?

"Mary?"

I slowly turned away from the counter until I faced my loving mother. _Or so I thought she was. _I looked at her dead in the eyes, just hoping she'll give in to my silent plead. _"No, don't send me."_

"Mary?" she repeated, taking my face in her hands. She wiped away the salty fluids from my eyes. "Say something."

I bit my lip, trying to hold back a sob. _"Don't send me."_

"N-n-no." I blurted out.

"No what, Mary?" she eyed me curiously. That was her way of getting information out of someone. There was a hint of hope in those grayish-violet orbs. Probably she hoped I'll finally confess _everything _to her. _"I can't, mother. I can't give in just yet."_

"What have I done, mommy?" I managed to say through quivering lips. "Have I done something bad that you don't want me anymore?"

"Of course I want you, you're my baby girl," she tried to soothe me with such dulcet words but it all sounded like poisoned honey to me. "I just don't want to see you so sad."

"Then why send me away?"

"Baby..." she cooed, stroking my wet cheeks, "you'll be happier with daddy."

_You're wrong._

"We've discussed colleges, and he's already enrolling you."

"I don't want to go." I groaned, throwing her hands away from my face. I could feel my anger build up inside of me. _How could she do this to me?_

"Why not, sweet---?"

"Don't call me _Sweetie!_" I hissed at her, taking a step back from this strange woman who calls herself my loving mother. _Loving mother, my ass._

"What's wrong, Mary?" She was very taken back from my rudeness. I don't blame her. I never raised my voice at her. _Not ever._

"_What's wrong_?" I repeated her words spitefully. "_What's wrong?_"

"I asked you first, Mary."

"What's wrong with you, mother?" I spat at her, my teething grinding together. I could kill her. "Why didn't you talk to me first?"

Mommy sighed and shrugged her shoulders, while crossing her arms uncomfortably.

"Why couldn't you speak to me first?" Honestly, how could she? _I didn't want this. She just did things her way, like she normally does. How selfish of her. _

"Because I knew you'll get like this, Mary." She responded, now giving me a "please-cooperate-with-me" look.

"You should've spoken to me first!"

"No, you're stubborn as hell!" She shouted back. "I had to do something. I can't do it anymore, Mary.. I can't."

"Can't what, mother? You're tired of me already? You can't handle me? I didn't do anything wrong!"

She threw her arms up in exasperation. "Exactly! You're catching on! You don't do anything! You're always moping around, never going out with any of your friends.....you have a problem, Mary Alice!

"You're making this difficult for me."

"What's difficult? What was going on before? I'm trying to find an easy way out for you, Kiddo."

"Nothing is easy, mother!" I shrieked. From that moment on, I went ballistic. Fresh new tears ran down my face as I fisted a handful of my hair. I ignored the burning pain inflicting on my sensitive scalp as I let out a scream of frustration. I withdrew my hands from my hair, and grabbed an innocent can of soup. Not thinking straight, I threw it at my mother, with an incredible force. She gasped in utter shock when the tin material bounced off her dainty shoulder.

"MARY!"

I ignored her. I knew what I did was wrong, but she deserved it. _How could she? And how how could he? Why are they torturing me?_ I was raped once, and I was sure not to have it happen again.

"Mary, you're being such an ingrate right now. I had enough of this." She tore her attention from me, and walked to the exit the kitchen.

"I'M NOT AN INGRATE, YOU ARE!" I yelled at her. She stopped walking and turned to my direction again. She raised her delicate brows at me.

"Oh, really, Mary Alice? I'm an ingrate?" she said, her dulcet voice slowly becoming more like poison. She scowled and crossed her arms more firmly to her chest. "I'm doing all I can for you, busting my ass in the process. It was pure torture for me to watch you cower in your room with unexplained depression. I tried my best to support you and that fucked up behavior you were in. Hell, I even tried to get you to talk to me, but you never did. " As she spoke, I slid down to the wooden floor. I rocked myself back and forth, just listening to her blabbing away.

"It was hard, Mary," She continued, her voice was starting to crack. "Watching my baby girl suffer for no reason. Every fucking night I have to check on you. And every time I do," She sniffed and cleared her throat, "it simply pains me. I could hear you tossing and turning. I could hear you screaming and crying into your pillow. I could even hear my baby girl waking up in frights. Could you believe I can hear all that from my room? And our rooms are not even close to each other." She stopped for a while and wiped her worried eyes.

I, however, still rocked back and forth.

"Even Cynthia notices too." Pause. "Every night, she sneaks into my room, and begs me if she could sleep by my side. You should have seen her face, Mary. She was so scared. She fears that something or someone is hurting you." I tensed up at the last part._ Cynthia thinks so?_

"I know," she carried on, she herself was trying hard not to cry, "Despite her young age, her mind is maturing. She takes after her big sister."

I rocked even harder and stifled back a sob.

"She loves you so much, Mary." She choked out. "She has so much love for her big sister that she would do anything to bring out the "Happy Mary Alice" back into our lives. Well actually my life... Cynthia wasn't born yet."

"Okay." I mumbled. I stopped my rocking but remained in that sitting position.

"Mary, please consider this." She pleaded. "Me and Cindy love you so much. We want the best for you."

And with that, she left. I was alone now. _How could I consider that? I really don't want to go._

But then again...I would do anything for my mother and my baby sister. After all, they do love me. And claim to want the best for me. _My life is hell._

"Shit." I swore, carefully getting up from the polished floor, straightening myself out.

_What am I going to do now? What will I decide? What are the risks?_

Fuck that. I knew the risks. But right now, I could really use some fresh air to clear my mind. This whole thing was hectic.

Taking my time, I walked to the living room where I saw my messenger bag and hoodie sprawled on the couch. Cynthia was busy eating Captain Crunch while staring blankly at Spongebob flipping patties by the grill.

I put my hoodie on and threw on the bag's straps around my shoulders. Soon enough, I was out.

* * *

Don't worry, Jasper is on the way..... soon :P


	4. Peace in mind

Hi! Again, thank you for the lovely reviews. And DWO, you're weird...don't ever change, you crazy chick. Hehe.

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Chapter 4: Peace in mind

Desperate to escape the drama from my so called _home_, I let my feet take me to where ever they felt like going.

_"The nerve of that woman."_ my mind spat. _"How could she do something like that without my knowledge."_

"Whatever." I muttered, shoving my hands in my pockets while making a right turn to Elterich Street.

_"The nerve of him too. It's all his fault I'm so fucked up."_

I shuddered and gasped as horrific scenes from my past flashed through my head. From this moment on, everything around me began to melt away. Instead of the serene friendly nature of Forks, I was surrounded by the pungent environment of a small bleak bedroom.

_I could swear my heart was going to give out, due to how fast it was beating. What happened to my beloved Forks? Did mommy rub a magical lamp and deliberately wished me away so quickly?_

_The beating of my frightened heart quickened as the sound of a clenched fist banged on the wooden door in front of me. _

_"Mary?"_

_Both my breathing and heart came to a halt. "Oh no. Please don't let it be who I think it is."_

_The monster knocked again. "Open up, Mary." He knocked again for the third time, more roughly. _

_"No, go away." I whispered, taking a few steps back away from the door. _

_"Mary, you know what happens when little girls disobey." he growled. I could hear him puffing on that damn cigar. _

_"Open this door now." he calmly ordered._

_My back was later glued to the wall and my eyes were transfixed on the door. Somehow, I know he was slowly reaching into the waistband of his pants and carefully pulling out a butter knife. _

_"Shit." I swore, completely possessed with panic. I can't let him touch me. I have to hide. But where?_

_I sensed him sliding the knife through the thin opening gap of the closed door. The knife soon hit the solid bar of the doorknob. I could hear him struggling to break the lock._

_ I scanned the room for a decent but safe hiding spot. Where could I hide?_

_He was having a difficult time fumbling with the lock. He was swearing repeatedly when the knife slipped out of the gap. _

_What was in this room that could conceal my small frame? Hurry, Alice, hurry. _

_"For fuck's sake!" the monster yelled. He banged the door again like a savage. "Open the goddamn door, Mary!"_

_"Hurry, Alice! Hide!"_

_"Stop making me nervous!" I silently shushed the tiny voice in my head. It was adding so much pressure. I honestly don't want to deal with any of it now. Especially now. "Ugh, where should I hide?"_

_Again, I scanned the room more carefully. There was a bed, a closet, and a large pink toy box. _

_"Hmm," I thought, "maybe the closet will do me any good." It seemed like a great idea at first, but then again... it wasn't. If I cower in there, the closet will be the first place he'll look in. Damn._

_"Mary." The monster was still fighting with the lock. "Once I'm in there...I'm going to give you the biggest lesson of your life, little lady."_

_I trembled at the sudden thought of him abusing my petite body._

_Will the toy box help at all? Surely it's big enough for me to crouch in. _

_"No." the tiny voice told me. "He'll notice why all of your toys are scattered all around your room."_

_"Good point." I replied, quite crestfallen. So, I guess the bed was my only option. _

_He was still fiddling with the lock, giving me enough time to crawl under the shabby old bed. I took a strong hold on the taut springs above me in order to pull myself up. I didn't want to make it obvious for him. I thought of Matilda, and remembered the scene where she was under the table while the evil principal ate chocolate cake above her. She had no clue about the little girl holding on the table's inner edges for dear life. So that's what I'm doing. I'm hovering over the floor like Matilda had done. _

_I almost gave myself away when I heard the door burst open. I could hear him chuckle in accomplishment. The disgusting odor of his cigar clouded my vision.  
_

_"Mary?" he said, lurking devilishly around the room, like a hungry predator that he is.  
_

_"Come out, Mary." he taunted me, puffing more poisonous fumes. _

_My breath hitched as his feet neared the end of the bed. "I love playing games with you...especially this game in particular."_

_I could feel his black eyes wander all over the place, in hope of finally finding me. "Hide and seek was your favorite game in the whole wide world, Mary. Though, you always lose."_

_The closet suddenly swung open, and he rummaged through the hanged clothing. He swore under his breath when realizing I was not in there._

_"Come out, come out where ever you are." He jeered, closing the closet and stepping away from it. _

_"Oh, leave me alone." I sighed mentally."What have I done to deserve this?"_

_I almost shrieked when an enormous weight on top of the bed, pushed me down until the tip of my nose touched the cold floor. _

_"If I were a little girl named Mary," he said, bouncing lightly on the tattered mattress, "where would I hide?"_

_"Get off the bed." I pleaded softly so he wouldn't hear me. "Get off." This time, the monster pounced hard, allowing my face to smack down against the hard floor. My eyes watered as my nose tingled in pain. Suddenly there was a fresh scent of metallic rust. _

_I shut my eyes tightly when I felt a gush of warm liquid streaming from nose, down to my chin. My tongue seeped out of my lips and licked at the warm fluid. _

_Great. The bastard busted my nose. _

_"You're going to have to come out eventually, Mary."_

_No. Fuck you._

_"Mary Mary quite contrary." he began to sing. I was stilled in horror at how he mocked me with that horrible nursery rhyme. "How does your garden grow? With silver bells and cockle shells, and pretty maids all in a row."_

_"You sick Fuck." I growled through gritted teeth, hoping he didn't hear me. I opened my eyes to see a huge crimson puddle. As I kept staring at it, the puddle increased and began to spread out tediously.  
_

_"I bled that much?" I mouthed, still gawking at the pool of blood, which was now reaching the bottom edge of the bed. _

_The weight above me vanished, and he stood where my blood was. _

_There was silence. There were no longer a cloud of smoke around him. But there was that tiny voice in my head screaming "Danger."_

_I saw his knees settle to the ground, and a large grimy hand grasping at the empty spot under my stomach. I held my breath when his knuckles brushed the soft fabric of my shirt. _

_From then on, he grabbed a handful of my shirt, and began yanking me out of my safe haven.  
_

"NO!" I screamed, swatting at my stomach like a maniac. "I'LL BEHAVE, I SWEAR!"

"Alice, calm down!" A soft voice rang out of nowhere. I stopped swatting, and opened my eyes. _What the hell? _I was staring at a very familiar gray sky. _  
_

I was back in Forks, no longer in the depressing bedroom in Biloxi. I sighed in relief. _It was just my mind playing tricks on me...again._

"Alice!" the voice rang again.

"Is she okay?" asked a masculine voice nearing the soft one.

"She's fine. The baseball just hit her. Alice, answer me."

"Bella?" I finally said, blinking rapidly as my nose throbbed. "What happened?"

"Jake and Claire happened."

"It was an accident, Alice!" piped up Jacob guiltily. "I swear!"

"It's fine." I croaked. I felt long thin fingers wrap it selves around my arm.

"Get up, Alice." demanded Bella, pulling me to my feet. "The ground is too filthy for to you lay on it."

"Okay, okay! Don't rush me." I pried her hand away from me, still blinking fast. My nose was on fire.

"Holy crow." She said, "Jake, hurry and bring me a napkin. She's bleeding."

Great. Can this day get any worse. First, I mistake a very hot guy for a cereal, next my precious mother throws me a huge surprise, and now I'm bleeding.

"Alice, I need you to tilt your head back a bit."

I did what she said. Shit! My nose really hurt! I wanted to cry. It feels like I've been hit with a freaking boulder or something. _"I'm going to kill Jake, even if it was a stinkin' accident."_

Bella broke me out of my thoughts by gently dabbing my face with a soft papery material.

"There, there." she cooed, wiping away at the warm fluid, trickling out my nose. "That should do it."

I hate it when she treats like a goddamn baby. I might be small... but come on! There's no need for any of that!

"I can take it from here!" I snarled at her. Bella automatically removed her hand from my face, and gingerly handed me the bloody napkin.

"I can't believe you didn't see that ball coming at you." she said, examining my face very closely. I could see myself in her big chocolate orbs. My nose was swelling a little. The bleeding was coming to an end, but it throbbed uncomfortably.

I sniffed and made a final wipe at it. I stared down at the napkin. _Gross. _It was all red now.

"I kept shouting at you to move, but you just stayed still like a zombie."

"Enough, Bella."

"I'm sorry, Ali." I stared at my best friend for a minute. I took in her appearance very carefully. I scowled at her. _"She's so pretty." _my mind thought. "_Why couldn't I be that pretty?_" She's paler than I am, but it suits her better than mine suited me. Her hair was a dark shade of brown which matched her eyes so nicely. It flowed to the small of her lower back. She's way taller than me, and thin. She's like a freaking supermodel. I can't think of anyone else who would compete with her for that status. The only thing that hasn't changed was her unusual taste for simplicity. Her style was always plain and simple. Today she wore a faded blue long sleeved shirt, a pair of faded jeans, and her favorite pair of ratty old tennis shoes.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I really did try to get your attention." She was still talking to me while I kept gawking at her strange beauty.

"Bella, it's fine." I assured her. _My goodness, stop apologizing!_

"Are you sure? You're not angry with me?"

"No. I mean... yes, I'm sure. But I'm not angry with you." I told her, trying to make her feel not guilty.

Bella smiled and gave me a heartwarming hug.

"Oh my freaking gosh! I haven't seen you in like forever!" She squealed, tightening her hold me and kissing the top of my head.

"I know. I'm sorry." I managed to say through her unbreakable grip. I can't breathe. My face was digging into her ribs. And to top it all of...my nose! _Argh! _

"Holy crow!" She yelled, releasing me from her embrace. "I'm sorry! I forgot about your injury!"

"Bella! It's okay!" I shouted at her, briefly annoyed at her use of sorries. "Stop apologizing, woman!"

She blushed. Damn. I forgot how much of a furious blusher she is. She's worse than I am.

"So..." she began, very red in the face. "What's going on with you? Were you busy with stuff?"

_"Yes, I was busy being too depressed for my own good." _I wanted to say, but instead I smirked at her.

It surely has been forever since I've seen her and Jakey. We three have known each other since freaking middle school. Starting with me, I was the weird loner who everyone gradually picked on. The whole class always teased me about my height, my hair, and my silence.

_"She's so fucking short man, even Tinkerbell is taller than her." _Some of them would say.

_"What the hell is up with her hair? She's looks like a little boy."_

_"Are you sure she's an eighth grader? She looks more like a kindergardener on tour around this school."_

_"You can poke her, hit, or touch her all you want, but she won't budge. She's a mute."_

_"I bet she's flat-chested."_

Their sneers and comments did bring me down a little. Well, they didn't make a huge impact as the rape had done. That truly made an enormous dent in me.

Jacob Black was the first to be one of my best friends. I met him in the school's library, during our fifth period lunch. He was skimming through a couple of "How to remodel a car." books in the engineering section, which was next to the fiction isle where I was. We happened to bump into each other, our papers and books flying out from our arms and dispersed all over the floor.

After recollecting our things, we kept telling each other "Sorry!" in unusion and then we started to laugh. From that moment, our platonic relationship began to blossom. Everyday, we both skipped our lunch for the library to escape the cruelty from our peers.

I learned so much about Jacob. I learned that he is Native American, from the Quileute tribe. He lived somewhere around the La Push area, and he's a year younger than me. Jake informed me about his recent transfer to our school. He often pulled so many jokes about how odd us "Pale faces" were. It made me laugh. He even told me that he's having a very hard time with the school's ignorance. I tell him to ignore those assholes and bitches, like I do.

In the middle of March, Miss Bella Swan became my second and final friend. When she moved to Forks, there had many rumors about how incredibly fresh and good-looking she was. I was the only one who didn't buy any of it. In my opinion, when I first saw this new girl, I thought "Wow, this is her?". I didn't mean to make it sound mean. The girl was very pretty, but not as how the whole male population pictured her. On the third day of her arrival, Jake and I wore frowns on our faces as we headed to the cafeteria, because the library was undergoing construction. After we each fetched a tray of food, Swan sat all alone in a far away table. Jake thought we should join her, but I thought the opposite.

_"No, there's another empty table over there." I complained, pointing at one near a bleak window. _

_"Come on, Ali," he told me, while tugging at the scruffy sleeves of my white hoodie,"I'm sure she won't bite."_

I could swear I saw drool seeping at the corner of his lips. _"Oh, I see."_ He's interested in her like the rest of the mindless boys. I couldn't ruin this for him, so I agreed to sit with this "Fresh" piece of meat.

"Earth to Alice!" a pale hand waved in front of my face. I was brought back to the present again.

"Alice, you there?" Bella said, still waving her hand at me.

"Yes, what were you saying?" I said, squinting in confusion.

"How often do you space out?" she asked, her chocolate eyes boring into my gray ones.

"Often." I answered with sarcasm. "What were you saying?"

"I was saying that it would be so awesome if you, me, Jakey, and Rose-"

"Who's Rose?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "I mentioned her earl- oh, wait...you were not on Earth. Rosalie Hale, a fellow employee of mine and Jake's, invited us to her party tomorrow. And I was thinking you should meet her before tomorrow. So... after I'm done with my shift, I'm taking you out!"

"Bella, don't you hate parties?" I asked, raising my eyebrows at her.

"I do." she admitted. "But I did something bad at work, so Rose is blackmailing me if I don't show up."

_I'm not buying that. There has to be a better excuse. _

I gave her my sweetest smile. "Sure, I'll go with you...and them."

Bella grinned. "Okay, I'm going to work now. If you want, I'll take you home so you could get ready."

I nodded, but then I realized something._ "Where the hell am I?"_ The last time I checked, I was in Elterich Street. Curiously, I spun around to see that I was standing in front of Bella's house. How the hell?

"Hey Alice!" yelled Bella's voice from her red chevy truck. "Stop twirling around, and get your ass in this truck!"

Flushing with embarrassment, I ran to the passenger side of her chevy. I opened the door, and hopped in. While she was pulling out of her driveway, I looked back at her house. I noticed Jacob and his little cousin, Claire, waving at me through the window. I chuckled a bit. They were probably scared that might I bite their heads off for accidentally harming my poor nose. Speaking my nose, I stared at the side mirror, and sighed in relief when the swell was going away.

"I can't wait to go home." I muttered in false excitement.

"What was that?" Bella asked, staring at the road.

"Nothing." I lied. "Look out for the old man!"

* * *

I'm sorry Jasper wasn't in this chapter, but I promise that he will certainly be in the next chapter. I SWEAR THIS TIME! ARGH! Thank you ^^


	5. God Must Hate Me

**Hey guys! Well…this took a while, sorry lol**

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**Chapter 5: God Must Hate Me**

"See you later, Bella!" I shouted as I jumped out of her chevy.

"Remember," she reminded me, poking her head out her window, "you have to be ready by three fifteen or else I'm leaving your little ass!"

I nodded at her and waved good-bye. She drove away when I pushed the front door open. My mother and sister were chilling in the living room, laughing at some idiotic crap from the television. I quietly closed the door behind me, not wanting to disturb them. I wasn't in the mood to face mommy...especially since our disagreement earlier. Without making any sudden noise, I carefully crept up the stairs. I winced and cursed as my right foot landed on a creaky step. _"Shit. Oh fuck me."_

"Mary, is that you?" my mother called from the living room.

"I'll check!" squealed Cindy.

"Cynthia, it could be stranger." mommy chastised. _A stranger? How the hell could a stranger break in without setting the alarm off. Nice going, mother, you're a genius._

"It's not a stranger," chirped my baby sister, "otherwise the alarm would buzz like crazy." _Wow, even Cynthia caught on. Mom, you're lame.  
_

"Cynthia, don't sass me!"

I rushed to my personal asylum while the both of them argued.

"Why can't it be three fifteen already?" I groaned, throwing myself on my small bed. "And what should I wear?"

_"Easy! A simple pair of jeans, a small shirt, and a different colored hoodie. Pretty much what you always wear on a daily basis." _

"You know what?" I spat at the tiny voice in my head. "I'm getting sick of your smart-ass remarks. And you forgot to mention my worn-out chucks."

_"Look who's being a smart-ass, Smart-ass."_

"Oh, shut it." I retorted. Just when my mind was about to diss me, a soft knock interfered.

"Mary?" Shit, it's her. What does she want now? "May I come in?"

_"No, go away." _I wished to say. But being the "nice little girl" that I am, I replied. "I guess so."

I sat up straight as I watched her come in to sit on my bed.

"What?" I snapped at the love and concern inflicting from her kind eyes.

"Have you thought about what we've discussed?" she asked.

I groaned. "Can you please drop it, mother?" There's no way I could could take this shit again.

"No. I won't drop it. This is for you own good, Mary." She reached out to touch my face but I pulled away. I got off the bed and walked over to my closet.

"I really don't need any of this." I grumbled, opening it. "You don't always know what's good for me."

"Of course I do, my love," she said. "I'm your mother."

I snorted at her words as I pulled out my black bag behind the white drawer. "Some mother you are?"

_"Shit."_ I winced at the last words. _"I shouldn't have said that. She's on to me."_

"What is that supposed to mean? And don't give that tone, young lady."

I seriously didn't need any of this. If I knew our previous conversation was never going to end, then why did I bother coming back here? I must have been stupid to let Bella drive me back. _"Fuck!"_

I opened the first drawer and searched for a decent pair of panties and bra. After finding them, I stuffed them into my bag.

"I'm going to spend the night at Bella's." I said, now searching for socks.

"Bella?" she asked, not sure if she heard me correctly. "How is she? It's been a while."

"She's fine." I muttered, taking out a pair of blue faded jeans and a red sweater._ "Perfect, now where are my chucks?"_

"Hmm. How's Charlie doing?"

Ugh. Must she ask so many questions?

"I don't know." I huffed in annoyance. "I only saw Bella and Jacob today."

"Oh, Jacob! He's your little Indian friend, isn't he?"

I turned away from my closet, and glared at her.

"He's not Indian. He's Native American." I hissed. I rolled my eyes while turning back to the closet. _"Ugh. Such ignorance!"_

"I know." she giggled. "I just thought that might get you to finally look at me. You're so stubborn at times, kiddo."

_Kiddo._

I cringed at that evil little nickname._ Kiddo._ That monster would always call me that whenever he... _"Oh God. I think I'm going to cry."_

"Mary, are you okay?" my mother's voice interrupted my disturbing thoughts. "You're shaking a bit."

"Mom, let me be now." I snapped, my voice slightly cracking as my eyes began to water. "I have to finish packing."

I was relieved to hear her getting to her feet.

"Sure, sweetie. And remember to consider my offer."

I wiped my treacherous tears away when she left me alone.

* * *

"You didn't change, Alice!" Bella scorned, watching me jump to the passenger seat of her old chevy.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" I asked, shrugging my shoulders. "I don't see you making an effort either."

She scoffed in disgust as her brown eyes scrutinized my attire. "There's still a bit of blood on your shirt."

"Oh." I uttered, realizing the crimson smudge on the front of Stewie's forehead. _"Fuck, I didn't notice that."_

"Hurry!" Bella demanded, leaning over my lap to open my side of the car door. "You have five minutes to change! Quick! Rose is waiting for us!"

"Bella, relax!" I told her, smacking her slender hands away from the door handle. "Changing won't be necessary."

"Are you crazy? You look like a total slob!"

I stuck my tongue out at her as I zipped up.

"That's what hoodies are for." I smirked. Bella leaned back to her seat and swore under breath.

"You're still a slob." she grumbled, driving away from the last place I needed to be.

* * *

Rosalie Lillian Hale is definitely one of the most beautifulest woman I have ever seen; She is astoundingly gorgeous, tall and statuesque, with an elegant figure similar to a model's. Her long,wavy, golden hair cascaded down her back. Her skin was white as snow and completely flawless. Her alluring blue eyes were like lilies floating gracefully on a quiet stream.

"Here I was sitting here," she said, her smooth, elegant voice cracking into soft giggles, "waiting for you and some assholes think they could just walk over here and ask me out."

"Did you say yes to any of them?" asked Bella, smirking as she sipped her vanilla milkshake. I just sat there staring at the both of them, poking my chocolate ice cream with a plastic spoon, wondering why I agreed to come to this stupid ice-cream parlor in the first place. _"Oh, wait...never mind. I know."_

"Of course not!" she laughed, flipping her glorious blonde locks away from her shoulders. "I deserve more than just scrubs."

"Scrubs?" said Bella, also laughing. "Isn't that a song?"

"Yes but that's what they were." Rosalie wiped her full pink lips with a napkin before looking at me. A friendly smile formed on her gorgeous face, making me return the kind gesture. I cried a little in the inside. _"She was too fucking perfect. Why couldn't I be as pretty as these girls?"_

"So...Alice?" she said, her flowery eyes boring into my dull ones. "You're awfully quiet."

I shrugged, spooning my ice-cream and dumping it back.

"Tell me about yourself."

I nervously bit my lip as my eyes settled on my melting treat."I don't have much to say." But in reality, I really wanted to tell her, _"If you must know, Rose, I'm basically a nobody who suffers in silence."_

Rosalie's beautiful smile grew wider but then turned upside down when something rattled in her purse.

"One sec." she told us, holding up a finger as she searched through her purse. A triumphant grin lit up her frowning face when she pulled out a glittery purple cellphone. She shook her head and sighed at the text she had received.

"That jackass." she muttered, her thumbs moving rapidly on her cell. "I told him to get here on time."

"What's up?" piped up Bella, furrowing her brows at Rose, who snapped her phone shut. "Who is it?"

"Oh, it's just Jasper." she answered, flipping her hair out of her face. "And speaking of the devil..." she added, looking over my head, "he finally made it."

"Sorry, I'm late." I heard someone say from behind me. It sounded familiar. "I got a little caught up at work."

I dropped my spoon when the stranger spoke again. _It really sounded familiar. _I felt something brush past me, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand. His intoxicating scent tickled my nostrils. _The scent was familiar as well. Who is this?  
_

"Sorry." My heart jumped to my throat when a strong, warm, comforting hand touched my shoulder. "Wait...didn't I see you earlier?"

_"What?"_

My eyes snapped up to this stranger and my mind almost went blank. _Oh my God, it's him._ The same guy from Walmart. The beautiful man I've mistaken for a cereal box. I felt my cheeks heat up when I thought back on that embarrassing moment of my short and pitiful life.

"You know Alice?" Bella and Rosalie's voice came in out of nowhere, bringing me back to earth.

"Yea," he answered, his crystal blue orbs hypnotizing me, "we've met this morning. Mary Alice? Is that your name?" He flashed me a charming smile. All I could do was stare at him with my mouth half open, completely speechless. _"Shit..." _I must look like an idiot right now._ "He's so cute."  
_

"Alice, you didn't tell me you knew Jasper!" exclaimed Bella, nudging my side to get me to focus. I snapped out of it again, and looked back down at my melting ice-cream, like it was the only thing that mattered.

"She's real hardcore" the beautiful stranger chuckled as he took his seat next to me. My cheeks were scorching hot when his leg bumped into mine. "She pulled my hair and got away with it."

I cringed, wanting nothing more than to hide myself in a large hole. _"Oh, God, why must you punish me? Did I do something horrible in my past life?"_

"Where exactly did you both meet that involves hair pulling?" questioned his sister, raising her eyebrows at her brother. I felt her burning gaze on me too._ "What the fuck did I do?"_

"Walmart." Jasper simply answered. Rose and Bella exchanged glances while mouthing "Walmart?"

"What?" he laughed, "You surely don't think I'd met her in a strip joint, did ya? Those days are over, Rose!"

I looked up, very appalled by what he just said. His eyes met mine, which caused me to look away. He chuckled at my bashful behavior.

"She's too shy to be a stripper." he joked, winking at me. "Although, she seems like she'd be very freaky under the she-"

"Jasper, enough!" shouted an annoyed Rosalie while Bella giggled uncontrollably as she sipped her milkshake. My face felt hot and heavy as his eyes kept their attention on me.

"Alice, don't listen to him." Rosalie assured me, giving me an apologetic smile, "He suffers from an incurable disease called stupidity."

I nodded as the corners of my lips twitched upward.

"Ouch, Rose..." he smirked, "So what about this party tomorrow? Who's invited?" He leaned back and his knee bumped into mine again. This time, something in my stomach fluttered.

"Everyone we know is invited, Jazz." confirmed Rose, rolling her eyes at him. "Duh."

"Geesh, Rose, don't give me that attitude." retorted Jasper, looking over at me, for the hundredth time. _"Why is he doing that? Stop it!"_

"Are you going too, little lady?" he asked me, nudging my arm with his elbow.

_"Ugh. Stop touching me! I'm uncomfortable as it is! Don't make it worse!"_

I still remained quiet while Bella spoke for me.

"Yes, she is." she said, giving me a quizzical look as to why I'm not saying anything. "She's staying over my house until tomorrow."

"Oh-wait!" his forehead creased with worry lines. "How old are you anyways? I can't have minors mingling with college students. Shit happens."

Bella laughed and answered, "She's eighteen, Jazz."

Jasper sighed in relief and ran his fingers through his perfect curls. "Shit, I thought you were fifteen!"

I froze in my seat. _"The fuck? What did he just say?"_

"You shouldn't have said that." piped up Bella, giving me an apologetic smile. "She's very touchy."

"Aww. Sorry, you just seem very young." He apologized, touching my shoulder again.

_"Could you please stop touching me?"_

"It's fine." I grumbled, shrugging his hand off me.

"Sweet!" exclaimed Jasper, grinning from ear to ear. "She talks!"

"Jazz," growled Rose, glowering at him, "stop picking on her."

"I can't help it!" he admitted, laughing at my reddening cheeks. "She's so small!"

_"Okay, this guy is so annoying. How could Rose stand him?"  
_

"Shit, I gotta go." he suddenly said, pulling his the sleeves down his wrists to look at his watch. "I'll see you later, hair-puller!" he shoved my shoulder playfully and then got to his feet.

"Where are you going?" asked his sister, rummaging through her bag again. "You just got here."

Jasper shrugged as he stuffed his hands inside his pockets. "I have to help Emmett with some crap." he confessed, "You know? The speakers and all that good shit for the damn party."

"Emmett's helping?" Rose scrunched up her face in disgust as she spoke."Why?"

"Because he loves you." teased Jasper, walking away from our table. "See you three tomorrow!"

"Bye-wait!" shouted Rosalie, her blue eyes wide and serious. Jasper stopped and shrugged his broad shoulders.

"Will Edward be able to make it?" she gave Bella a cheeky grin while asking.

I noticed Bella's cheeks tinging a little as her bottom lip tucked under her teeth. _"I knew it."_ I thought, grinning at the liar._ "There had to be a reason why she's so interested in parties."_

Jasper shrugged again and replied, "I don't know, but I'll remind him. Bye!"

My face returned back to its usual pale state as soon as Jasper left. _"That was very humiliating."_

"So..." sighed the beautiful blonde, twirling a lock of hair between two thin fingers. "Alice, care to explain how exactly you met my brother?"

The heat took over my cheeks again. She and Bella were looking at me with suspicion; Both their eyebrows were raised and lips pursed. I put my hands on my lap, so they could nervously play with the bottom of my sweater.

"Umm..." I stammered, avoiding their nerve-wracking stares, "we...we didn't exactly meet..."

"So my brother lied?"

"No!" I shrieked, feeling the blood boiling on my cheeks. "Sorry, I mean...we were in Walmart...but we didn't exactly talk-"

"What the hell happened then?" Rose interrupted, folding her arms as she glared at me. "He did mention you pulled his hair. What was that all about? And why are you so nervous? What did you both do?"

I gulped. _"What the hell is her problem?" _I didn't do anything wrong.

"Rose, please," said Bella, "let her explain. Go on, Al."

My fingers continued fidgeting as I filled them in on the catastrophic incident. Relief swept through me when Rose's hard expression softened; Her delicate brows slowly pulled apart and her pursed lips curled in amusement. Bella on the other hand, bit her bottom lip to maintain her laughter.

"I didn't know he was standing right next to me." I admitted, bowing my head down in shame. " I swear, I didn't."

"That's how you both met?" asked Rose, leaning towards me. "You're dead serious?"

"Pretty much so." I mumbled. Bella was giggling as she slurped the remaining residue of her shake. I swore under my breath for ever letting them know this crap. _"Great. Now I'm the fucking laughing stock of the century."_

"Well, Alice..." snickered the blonde bombshell as she leaned back in her seat, "that has got to be, " she paused, her shoulders shaking as a small giggle escaped her pronounced lips, "the most funniest shit that I've ever heard." And with that, she shook madly with laughter. "You are so adorable!"

Mortified and deeply annoyed, I sunk in my chair and pulled my hood over my head to hide my wretched blush. _"Honestly, God must hate me."

* * *

_

**Well, I'm very much out of ideas...until then, I write them if anything comes to mind. :/ Thank you and sorry for the delay hehe!**


	6. Stop staring, it's rude

**Hey! :) Thank you for the reviews and sympathy ^^ Well, I'm sorry I haven't been exact from the very beginning; I was only molested as a child which drove me insane until I was 16 and that's when my Henry came in. He changed my mind about men. He did heal me. :') I love you, Hen-Hen!  
**

**Thank you again :)  
**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Stop staring, it's rude**

"Alice, are you awake?"

After another long, yet embarrassing day, Bella and I laid comfortably in her bed. Well, at least she was comfortable. Right after our meeting with the blonde bombshell, Bella couldn't help but smile on our way to her house. It had me sick to my stomach. I silently cursed this mysterious _Edward._ He was a fucking stigma on my best friend. I wanted to vomit in this stranger's face when I meet him.

"Alice?"

I groaned, turning on my side to face her. _"What does she want now?"_ I pulled the plum-colored comforter up to my chest as I stared at her cheerful heart-shaped face. The edge of her uneven lips twitched upward, making her smile a lot wider. I rolled my eyes at her, realizing why she wanted my attention. _"Give it a rest, Bells! You'll see the asshole tomorrow!"_

"I can't sleep." she confessed, still grinning like an idiot._ "And bothering me will help you? Great! Fuck you, Edward!"_

"I was trying to." I retorted, closing my eyes in hope that she'll leave me the hell alone. I opened them again to find her still staring at me with that sick bubbly look on her face.

"I'm too excited!" she exclaimed, almost shaking with fits of giggles.

I rolled my eyes again. "Oh my god, get over it!"

"I can't wait!"

"I could. Now go to sleep!" I hissed, trying to turn away from her, but she stopped me. _"What's a girl gotta do to get some decent rest around here?"_

"Wait, Ali!" she laughed, squeezing the crap out of my poor arm to get me to stay still. "I have to tell you something important. Please hear me out?"

"Bella, I'm sleepy!" I whined. "Could it wait until tomorrow?"

"It could but I want to tell you now!"

I sighed in annoyance, holding on to the purple comforter to prevent my small hands from strangling her. I watched Bella's smile go from very happy to very coy as her fingers nervously played with a loose strand of her long dark hair.

"What is it?" I asked her, anxious to have this over with so I could finally have my nightly slumber. Her chocolate eyes locked with my dull gray ones as her pale cheeks flushed a sick red color._"We're not gonna talk about this guy, are we?"_

"You know, Al?" she began to say, her cheeks blushing harder. "Throughout my teenage years, I have never felt this way about someone."

"You're only eighteen, Bells." I scoffed. "Don't be so dramatic."

Bella giggled, blushing even harder, resembling a bursting tomato.

"I'm not being dramatic, Alice. It's the truth. I think I may have found my soul mate."

Now it was my turn to giggle. _"This girl was too much sometimes. Soul mate? Really?"_

"It's not funny!" she playfully smacked my arm as she tried to suppress her own upcoming laughter. "I mean it! I think Edward is the one!"

"Don't make me laugh!" I snorted, feeling my face heat up from pure jubilation. It was surprising how Bella could lift my spirits up without even trying.

"Alice..." she growled, lightly pinching my arm. I winced and swatted her hand away. _"That fucking hurt!"_

"Now that I have you focused..." she said, glaring at me, "I could finish telling you everything else."

I nodded, smiling as I massaged my minor injury. Bella cleared her throat and returned to playing with the loose strand of hair.

"I'm really serious about him, Alice." she looked over at me, a mixture of longing and love written on her blushing face. "He's everything I could ever want. Have you ever felt that way before, Al?"

I felt the smile melt from my once amused lips, as a pathetic wave of discomfort overwhelmed my tired body. _"What..."_

"Alice, I swear I'm in love." she sighed, her dark pupils becoming larger at the very thought of her future lover. "Every time I see him or even think of him...my stomach flutters and my heart has a different beat. I honestly don't know how to explain it. Has that ever happened to you? Has anyone ever made you feel that way before?"

I shrugged my shoulders, covering my face with the comforter to hide my evident discomfort. I heard her release another dramatic sigh as she kept talking.

"It's such a wonderful feeling, Al." she gushed. "It's like everything will be okay around you again, you know?"

"No, I wouldn't know." I spewed, wishing she'd stop telling me all this. It's making me sick and I hated it.

"Oh my god, I want him so badly, it's hard to control myself. I just want to lock him up in one room and have my way with him forever."

"Ew, please stop it."

"I want him to touch me in the worst way." she said, her breathing becoming erratic. " Have you ever wondered how perfect life could be when his hands are on you? Making you feel things you've never felt before! No one has made you feel that way? Alice?"

My eyes were stinging, my cheeks were slightly damp and my skin felt prickly with goosebumps. I was curled into a little ball while my hands covered my ears, refusing to hear anything else that came out of her mouth. But her words managed to seep through the light cracks of my closed fingers. Behind my eyelids, I could picture _his_ cold monstrous hands ripping me apart. I let out a pained whimper as I trembled.

"Alice? What's wrong?"

"Mmm..." I uttered, biting my lip to stop myself from bawling like a baby. _"She shouldn't have told me any of that. Now he won't ever leave me alone..."_

"Are you okay under there?" she asked me. I turned my body to the other side just when her hands slowly pulled the comforter down. "Hey, come on!" she playfully poked my rib. "Don't keep any secrets from me? You're not doing a great job at hiding it!"

_"Wonderful! She could see right through me..." _I shuddered, feeling her fingers stab my side relieving me of my oncoming nightmare. _  
_

"Who's the lucky guy?"

"Bella, please drop it..." I begged, wincing as she touched me again. "I'm tired."

"No, spill it." she teased. I felt the bed shift as the comforter slid past my waist. "Come on! There has to be a reason why I haven't seen you in such a long time!"

"I'm tired, Bella." I repeated, hoping she'll stop bothering me. "Please."

"Someone has been fooling around." she said in a sing-song tone. "Do I know him?"

"It's no one, Bells!" I cried out, tugging the comforter up to my chest. "Please leave it alone."

I heard her groan in disappointment as the bed shifted again. I hugged the plum material to my chest and let out a relieved sigh. I almost screamed when I felt her lean over my shoulder.

"Okay." she giggled, ruffling my choppy hair. "But I'm still not convinced!" She kissed my cheek and immediately pulled back. "Are you crying?"

I cringed as I wiped the remaining tears off my cheeks. "No, it's really hot in here." I lied."I tend to sweat, okay?"

"Ew!" she squealed, settling herself under the covers. I could hear the smile inflicting in her voice. "Goodnight, Alice!"

I sniffed a couple of times before telling her the same thing. _"Glad that's over."_ I thought, my eyelids slowly drooping with sleep.

* * *

_"Mary, Mary, quite contrary how does your garden grow?" _

_My screams were muffled by his large hand as he brutishly rammed inside my small, defenseless body. Both my hands were badly bruised and totally drained out of energy from trying to fight him off me.  
_

_"With silver bells and cockleshells, and pretty maids all in a row." _

_I bit the hard skin of his palm, almost gagging at the sick metal taste of his blood. I yelped when his thrusts became more forceful as he slapped me hard across my face, smearing the vile red fluid on my stinging cheek. _

_"So that's how you want it?" he sneered, almost grunting in euphoria. "Rough?"_

_My eyes clouded with fresh tears as my head shook from side to side. The monster grinned evilly when he looked straight into my fear-stricken eyes. _

_"You got it, Kiddo!" _

_I screamed in agony, feeling my body being ripped in half._

"Alice!"

I awoke in startled pants, wildly searching around my surroundings. The quick pounding of my heart decreased when I saw Bella staring right at me. I gulped when I took note of the worry written in her wide eyes. Shamefully, my head hung and I also noticed how completely drenched my pajama top was from perspiration. _"When am I going to stop having those dreams?"_

"Good morning?" she somewhat greeted me, raising her eyebrows. "Is there something you want to talk about?"

I shook my head as I regained my breath. I met her gaze and forced a smile. "Clowns. You know how I hate them."

Bella chuckled and reached out to ruffle my already messy hair. "Don't be silly, Ali." she told me. "We've got Charlie here to protect us. You're safe!"

I feigned a small laugh. _"I almost forgot about her dad."_

"C'mon! We got a long day ahead of us! " she chirped, stumbling out of the bed until she landed on her ass. "Ouch. I should be more careful." She winced as she slowly stood up. This time I didn't feign a laugh. My best friend had always been a klutz.

"So what are you going to wear?" she asked me, as soon as I got out of the shower. I shrugged, wrapping my naked body with the fluffy white towel she lent me.

"Something simple, like always." I simply answered, walking past her to her room. I normally walked around in a towel when Charlie wasn't around, that way there wouldn't be any problems.

I heard Bella laugh behind me which made me turn around to glare at her. "What?"

She dropped her own towel, revealing her perfectly nude body. Feeling a little offended, I turned my back to her again.

"Oh, give me a break, Al!" she snickered, throwing her towel behind my head. "It's not like I'm a man disguised as a woman! We have the same thing! Don't be so shy!"

"Bella, put some clothes on!" I spat, clutching the towel to my chest, knowing that Bella was up to something not so nice. "It's breaks my heart looking at your perfectly robust body." I closed my eyes and bit my lip, regretting what I just confessed to her. _"Why in the hell did I say that out loud? Why?"_

She laughed again and I felt my cheeks burn up in embarrassment.

"You think I'm perfect? Haha, that's funny!" she snorted. "Alice, you're adorable."

"Shut up. You have everything going on." I told her, slowly turning around to face her. I was relieved that she had on a midnight blue bra and matching lace underwear."You're ten times better than me." I admitted, wishing I had everything Bella had; the perfect height instead of my pixie size, the glowing fair skin instead of my unnatural clammy tone, the beautiful long dark locks instead of my boyish spikes, and most of all... those alluring, wide chocolate eyes instead of my huge, dull off-gray ones. I even envied the dark, red blush that crept on her heart-shaped face down to the top of her perfect, perky breasts. "I mean it, Bells."

The corners of her full lips, tugged into a small smile as she walked in front of me. I squealed, when she tore the towel off my body. Now I really felt insecure.

"Don't put yourself down, Alice." she told me, quickly bunching the towel into a small ball and raising it above me so I couldn't reach. "I don't understand why you always do that?"

I shrugged, crossing my arms over my not so impressive chest. I looked down, wishing I had something to cover the tiny patch of curls between my legs._"Damn you, Bella. Give me back the towel!"_ My face felt like it just came out of the oven when her eyes scanned my pubescent body.

"You're very lovely, Al." she said to me with sincerity. My cheeks were burning when I locked eyes with her. She threw me a friendly smile and I mirrored it. "There's nothing wrong with you. Why can't you see that?"

My eyes were beginning to sting. _"Is Bella God's apology for what had happened to me?" _Now I felt them water. _"I don't understand."_ I looked away from her meaningful gaze and focused on her unmade bed. _"I will not cry in front of her."_

"You do realize that almost all tall girls wish they were as tiny and delicate as you, right?"

I shook my head. _"That's impossible. Who could ever want that?"_

"Sometimes I wish I were you, Al."

Completely shocked by what just came out of her mouth, I stared open-mouthed at her.

"What-why?" I stammered, my brows furrowing in confusion. _"Take that back, Bella! You don't want that! Any of it!"_

"Because, Alice..." she started to answer, running a hand through my choppy, black hair, "I have always been the awkward person in every single one our classes. And I look at you..." My arms tightened on my chest as she looked me up and down. "You had a lot grace whenever you walked or ran. I honestly wish I could pull off the pixie hair cut like you can. It suits your personality."

_"What personality?"_

"You're also fun-sized." she giggled, pinching my burning cheeks as though I were the chubbiest baby in the world. "I could just pick up you up with one finger and put you in my pocket."

_"Leave my height alone!"_

"You're beautiful, Alice." she told me, making my face heat up ten times worse. "And don't you dare deny yourself again or else I'm going to have to slap you."

I couldn't but grin sheepishly._ "Bella, you seriously are too much." _She grinned back at me and walked away to finish getting dressed. Making sure she wasn't looking, I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes.

"Hurry up and get that sexy little ass ready!" Bella urged me, shoving her arms through the floppy sleeves of her white henley. "We have to be at Rose's place in an hour!"

"Okay." I sniffed, my so called "sexy little ass" walking over to my black bag.

* * *

**Next chapter, I promise more Jasper! Okay? Okay!**

**Sorry about Bella. Instead of her usual broody attitude in the series...I gave her my cousin, Becca's personality. I don't know why. Don't ask.**


	7. Leave me alone!

**Hey! I don't really have much to say but Thank You :)**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Leave me alone!**

"Why do you wear those lumpy clothes, Al?" Bella asked me, adjusting her rear view mirror as I jumped in her truck. "It really doesn't suit you."

I grumbled to myself, fumbling with the blasted seat belt. Bella has been on my ass the moment our little "heart-to-heart" ended. It's fucking aggravating!

"Are you even wearing make-up?"

"Bella, enough." I muttered, pushing a short strand of hair away from my eyes. "Could you give it a rest?"

"Oh my god, Alice!" Her eyes narrowed in disbelief and her hands flew to her rather large Gucci bag. "I can't believe you're not making an effort!"

"I don't need to." I snarled. "Can't we just go already? Step on it!"

"Aha!" she exclaimed, glowing with victory when she pulled out a small pink tube. "Come here!" She dove over to me like a crazy person and attacked my face with the pink tube. I tried to push her away but she was out of control, smearing some congealing liquid on my lips which tasted oddly like cherry.

"That was uncalled for!" I spat, licking off the cherry crap from my lips.

"Alice, no!" she shouted, holding my face in a tight grasp. "You're ruining it! Cherry-blossom looked really pretty on you!"

"But I hate cherry!" I whined, releasing my flushed face from her abusive hand.

"Shut up and take it!" She joked. I cringed at how sick that sounded. She giggled at my horrified expression and then placed her hands on the steering.

* * *

"For the love of god!" complained my best friend for the hundredth time as we walked up the front steps of a large, stone-gray house. "Leave it alone!"

I stopped licking my lips and pouted at her. Bella rolled her brown eyes and flipped her long dark locks over her shoulder as the beige door opened. I wanted to hide behind her when I saw who stood in front of us.

"BELLA!" bellowed a monstrous-sized young man, with muscles bigger than my whole body. "YOU ACTUALLY MADE IT!"

I could swear I heard my knees knock together when his hazel eyes looked down at me. I felt chills running down my back as a frown replaced the childish smile on his dimpled face. I found that a little odd.

"I'm sorry, little girl." he spoke to me as if I were a fucking toddler. My cheeks reddened in anger. "This is a grown-up party. It's best if you go home, sweetheart." He then extended a massive hand to ruffle my hair but I dodged it and hid behind Bella.

"Emmett, this is Alice." I heard Bella say through fits of giggles. "And I'm sure Jasper has told you about her coming."

"Oh!" The giant named Emmett uttered in realization. "So sorry! He wasn't joking! She does look like a little kid!"

_"What?"_

I stuck my head out and glared at the stupid giant. Once he caught me, he gave me an apologetic grin. A thin arm wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me to Bella's side.

"I swear, Em." she said, squeezing my shoulder in reassurance. "You and Jazz are fucking idiots at times, you know that?"

"Don't get your panties in a bunch, Bells." he laughed, finally allowing us inside. My heart hammered in my chest when I heard loud yells and music from the distance. "I was only joking. See? Alice seems to find me funny!"

_Not true._

"She's not laughing, Em!" retorted the annoyed brunette, smacking his arm. "And I'm not even wearing panties, for your information!"

I shuddered in disgust. When did the innocent Bella Swan get so indecorous? This was a side of her I never knew.

"Gross, Bells!" roared Emmett, his cheerful face distorting. "Couldn't you wait until he actually gets here?"

"Not at all..." she slurred, her hips swaying as she walked away from my side, further into the sage halls. I blinked in disbelief when she left me alone with this gigantic stranger. I gulped, feeling his eyes roaming all over my trembling form.

"So you pull hair, huh?"

My eyes closed as my jaw clenched. _"Great. The Blond idiot couldn't keep his mouth shut."_

"You must be some sort of freak." he chuckled. I heard his thudding footsteps nearing me until his large hand touched my shoulder. I trembled again, getting a sense of deja-vu. "That's not so bad." he laughed, apparently enjoying the nervous expression on my face. "Embrace your inner freak!"

"Not you too!"

A very elegant yet highly strict voice, made us both jump out of our skins. I opened my eyes to see the beautiful Rosalie Hale, storming through the halls.

"Stop bothering the poor girl! She had enough of that yesterday!" she added, kindly smiling at me. My self-esteem dropped to the pit of my stomach as I forced a smile. _"Wow."_ I thought, envying the beautiful girl in front of me; Her glorious golden hair framed her perfect face like fine satin silk. The small amount of black eyeliner brought out the blue of her gorgeous lily-like eyes. Her full lips were adorned with glossy red lipstick, making them more alluring and sensual. On her model physique, was a knee-length dress, decorated with pink and red roses. The black heels she wore made her bare legs look even longer and graceful. A Fabergé pearlescent pendant hung around her long neck, the specks of ruby complimenting the fairness of her skin.

I frowned, knowing that gawking at her won't solve any of my personal problems. My jealous mind was brought back to Earth, now focusing on what's happening before me. Rose was on her tippy-toes, jabbing Emmett's hard chest with an accusing finger.

"What am I doing wrong?" he smirked at the blonde bombshell. "I thought I was being nice!"

"That's your way of _nice_?" she sneered, rolling her eyes at him. I saw Emmett give her a longing look when she turned her attention to me. "Ignore this piece of work." Rose jerked her head to his direction. "Come on, the party is in the basement."

She took my hand and led me past the sage colored halls.

* * *

The voice in my head screamed for home all the while I hid in a corner, like a frightened kitten afraid of water. I held on to an unopened can of pepsi as I examined the strange people surrounding me. _"Who are these people?"_ I asked myself, watching a rangy teenager pulling a pretty blonde girl onto his lap. _"Surely I don't remember graduating with them..."_

"Hey, there you are!"

My curious gray eyes tore from the playful couple to a beaming Bella Swan. A tall handsome man stood beside her, her frail thin hands in his manly ones. I took my time studying this seemingly handsome stranger; He was cute alright, with perfect angular facial features. His high cheekbones were as strong as his jawline, and his straight nose went well with his full pinkish lips. His messy hair retained an unusual bronze color, which contrasts well to the green in his eyes. Looking down from his striking face, I took note of his slender yet muscular body.

I pursed my lips, realizing who this handsome man was...

"Alice, this is Edward!" she gushed, her cheeks flaming while gazing longingly at him. My worry grew inside me at how Edward looked back at her. _"Asshole, she's not a piece of meat!"_ I wanted to scream at him, but I bit my tongue. Their lustful gaze broke and then they looked right at me. Edward held out an unoccupied hand which I gingerly took.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Alice." he said to me, his green eyes lighting with sincerity. I shamefully smiled at him, thinking back on how badly I thought of him. "Bella won't shut up about you."

"You too." I told him, quickly drawing my hand away. My cheeks burned when I noticed how wet my hand was from holding my cold pepsi. _"Great."_ I wiped my hand on my lumpy red sweater.

"Alice, why are you all alone when you could be mingling with guys?" said Bella, eyeing me curiously. "Look around, Al."her head whipped from side to side. "There's so many cute singles here. Go have fun!"

"Yea, go mingle." chuckled Edward, agreeing with his love. "You're only young once."

My shoulders shrugged as I nervously looked down at my worn-out chucks. "Nah, I'll pass for now."

"C'mon, Al!" whined my best friend, pouting her bottom lip at me. "Just enjoy yourself for once in your mopey life! Pretty please!"

"Fine." I hissed, my heart tearing at her words. I ignored the uncomfortable sting in my eyes. _"She's only joking."_ My mind assured me. _"There's no reason to down yourself...even if it is the truth." _

"Great!" Bella chirped and then gave me a kiss on my cheek. "We'll be over there if you need us, okay? Have fun, sexy!"

"Ugh. You gotta say _that_ out loud?" I grumbled, my shaky hands raising my pepsi to my lips. As my teeth grazed the rim of the can, the lovebirds left my sight. Two hours have passed and I haven't moved from my little corner. I was still focused these unfamiliar people, who don't seem to notice me at all. Not that I was complaining.

"You're so funny, Garrett!" squealed the pretty blonde, who still sat on his lap. The guy named Garrett, wiggled his thick eyebrows at her, making her squirm in delight. He wrapped his arms around her thin frame and held her close. In a matter of seconds, their lips were glued together and her hands dove behind his sandy hair, releasing it from its ponytail._ "That's very much uncalled for!"_ Horrified, I looked over to a group of large, muscular men indulging themselves with what looked like beer. _"There's beer?" _

"Enjoying the party?" I flinched when a strong hand tapped my shoulder. I looked at it before shrugging it off. "I'll take that as a "no" then." As the unknown person laughed, I clutched the soda can to my heart.

"It's okay." I muttered, feeling my cheeks burn at the sound of my shaky voice.

"Really? Then why are you here all by yourself?" he chuckled, and I finally looked up at who was speaking to me. Suddenly my body stilled and my gray eyes bore into his blue ones. The air escaped from my lungs as my heart refused to thump in its normal pace.

"You okay there?" His crystal blue eyes smiled at me as his kissable lips moved. I mentally slapped myself for thinking that. _"Kissable? Really, Alice? That's a first!"_

All I could do was stare at him like a mindless idiot. My cheeks went in flames, imagining myself on the tips of my toes, laying one on him. _"Shit! What's wrong with me?"_ After finding my strength, I tore my eyes from his beautiful face. _"I never think of such things! What's going on with me?"_

"Hm!" I squeaked, shutting my eyes when his hands waved in front of my face.

"Good!" he laughed. "A reaction!"

"Hey, Jazzman!" someone called out of nowhere. A gush of his pleasant scent tickled my nostrils when I felt him turn to whoever called him.

"What is it, Sam?" he answered. To my surprise, he sounded slightly irritated. "No, I don't want any! Rose is gonna kill you for bringing that shit!"

I opened my eyes too see Jasper stalking toward the group of drunk men. One of them, I presume was Sam, groggily shoved a bottle of corona to Jasper's broad chest. Jasper, however, shoved it away and scolded him for getting drunk.

"Thank you, Sam." I sighed, relieved that he had Jasper's full attention so I could move to the other side of the basement. I looked over my shoulder and saw Jasper return to the spot I once stood. The sad look on his face almost killed me._ Oh well. _I found a new spot behind a long table where a tall girl with flaming red hair greedily stuffed her mouth with bite-sized pretzels. I gaped at her in horror as her grimy hands dug into a large bowl of cheetos.

"Leave some for the rest of us, Vicky."

The redhead giggled in embarrassment as a pair of manly arms circled around her waist. They pulled her flush against a strong chest, belonging to an average-looking man with cropped, light brown hair.

"Sorry, babe." she cooed, her voice like a spoiled young girl. "You know how crazy I am about junk food."

She laughed when his hand grabbed her wrist from eating another cheesy treat. "Victoria, don't disobey me." he growled, his thin lips hovering next to her ear, which caused her to giggle more._ "I'm going to be sick."_ Both his hand slipped under her blue shirt, releasing a soft moan from her. His fingers gently scraped her pale tummy and she arched her back to him. I looked around the crowded basement to make sure if anyone noticed this. Surprisingly, no one paid them any attention but me.

"Oh, James..." she sighed, leaning her head back as his mouth feasted on her long neck. I winced as his teeth bit down on her reddening flesh. _"Ouch. That looks like it hurts."_ His lips slyly curled when he noticed me staring. _"Shit." _My cheeks burned at the devilish grin he gave me as his hands moved up her shirt to grope her pert breasts. With a wink, his tongue slipped out of his mouth and licked up her ravaged neck.

"Oh god." I groaned, a wave of nausea overwhelming my petite frame as I escaped to another part of the room. I carefully dodged a group of dancing teenagers while I covered my ears from the loud music blasting from a large stereo. I yelped when a clammy hand whipped me around to face a dark-haired girl, swaying her body in a distasteful manner.

"Grind with me, Ben!" she shouted, her light brown eyes out of focused behind her glasses.

"Angie, I'm over here!" shouted a short boy, glaring daggers at me as his tall girlfriend pulled me into her vivacious body.

I pushed the drunk girl off me and ran away from the dance floor. _"I want to go home!"_ I silently cried, trying to find a good hiding spot where I could remain being unseen.

"Alice!"

I spotted the blushing Bella Swan, giggling madly on top of Edward's lap on a green sofa over by a nearby corner. She waved at me to come over, and I pathetically did.

"I saw you talking to Jasper." she said, winking at me as I took a seat next to them. "It looked serious. What happened?"

"Nothing happened, Bells." I told her, scowling when Edward's hands gripped the bottom of her short skirt. "He only asked me if I was enjoying myself and nothing more."

"Are you though?"

I shook my head, ignoring the frown she forming on her face. But before she could say anything else, I swore to her that I'll try to have fun.

"Okay." she smiled in relief, leaning over to ruffle my hair. "I just want to see you get some action tonight. You look like you may need it."

I rolled my eyes at her. "Ugh, is that all you think about, Bells?"

Bella bashfully bit her bottom lip and nodded as her hand squeezed Edward's thigh. My eyes almost popped out of my head when I noticed the front of his pants creating an impressive tent._"What happened to the Bella I once knew?"_ Her chocolate eyes darkened with lust while staring into Edward's dazed green ones. As her tongue ran over her bitten bottom lip, Bella rested her head on his shoulder and whispered something in his ear.

"Really?" he drawled, slowly moving one of his hands to the hem of her skirt. "You're a naughty girl, Bella Swan."

_"What did she tell him to make him say that?" _I thought, observing how Bella shifted on his lap as his hand carefully crept under her skirt. Both their eyes lit with desire just when she moaned in pure bliss._ "What the hell was going on..." _She closed her eyes and bit her lip again. _"Is he hurting her?"_ I wanted to cry. He was hurting my best friend...or so I thought just as she moaned out his name with a smile.

"You weren't lying." he chuckled and then captured her lips with his as his hand remained under her skirt, doing god knows what. "You're very warm and _wet_."

My mouth hung open, finally figuring out what was happening here...next to me! I almost forgot that Bella did mention she wasn't wearing any underwear. _"Wow, Bella..." _I felt the bile rising to my throat. _"Really? You're doing that shit here?" _

"I'm sorry!" I squeaked, desperately wanting to throw up. "I can't deal with this any longer!" And with that I took off, ignoring the pestering calls of my perverted best friend and her horny boyfriend.

* * *

I blankly stared at the pale yellow walls as I rocked myself back and forth on a nice linen beige couch. My mind tried to erase the disturbing images of what occurred down in the basement._ "Never in my life...have I ever seen such perversion." _I cringed, remembering how Cullen pleasured my best friend...in front of _me_! How will I ever forget_ that_? Gross! And the other two couples before them. Oh my god...

"Get out, get out!" I hissed, shaking my head like a person with mental issues. "Ew, ew! Gross!"

My throat began to get dry and I felt thankful that my shaky hands still held the unopened soda can. I licked my dry lips as my nail carefully slipped under the tab.

"Oh, come on!" I snarled, struggling to lift the damn tab. "Open up you piece of sh-"

"DAMN IT, ROSE!"

Out of fright, my finger scraped along a sharp edge of the tab, creating a small cut. I whimpered, holding my injured finger to my quivering lips. I kissed it gently when I heard two people shouting at each other in the other room.

"It's none of your concern, Emmett!" Rosalie snapped, apparently very upset with the humorous giant.

"I'm telling you, Rosie. He's not right for you." he reasoned with her.

"Oh, and you are?" she scoffed.

"Don't you think so?" he asked her, sounding like an innocent child. I heard Rosalie mock him while he stayed silent.

"But...that's not what you said when I gave you that necklace." he challenged, extremely anxious to gain her affection. "You told me you loved me."

"Em, I thought I made that clear." she sighed. I could tell she felt bad for him as I did. "I told you I loved you as a friend. Only a friend, Em. My heart belongs to Royce. You know that."

_Ouch._

There was a moment of silence between them until another voice broke in. I stopped sucking on my tiny wound when I recognized Jasper's alarmingly sweet voice. _"Alice, enough swooning."_

"Rose, have you seen-" he stopped talking, in my guess, glancing at the two loved-crazed lunatics. "Am I interrupting something here?"

Emmett cleared his throat as Rosalie stuttered, "N-no, Em was just leaving. Isn't that right, Emmett?"

"Umm, right." grumbled the heartbroken giant. "I'll see you later, Jazzman." His loud footsteps became very distant until a door creaked open and then closed.

"Was he crying?" Jasper asked in disbelief. I was shocked too. Emmett seemed so tough, like he was made out of stone. I never realized he could be such a softy...

"He's fine." Rose replied. "Don't worry about him. So what were you saying before?"

"Oh...I was wondering if you've seen Alice anywhere?"

_"Me?"_ My eyes widened in fear. _"There's no way I'm going back in that dungeon. It reeks of horny teenagers!"_

"Bella won't calm the hell down if we don't find her."

"She won't calm down? You mean she's drunk?"

_"Bella's drunk?" _Great, first she's a pervert and now she's an alcoholic.

"Shit! I told Sam not to bring any liquor! Why won't he listen?" she hissed, her lithe footstep nearing the entrance of the living room. "And why didn't you stop him? Momma will have a fit if she's smells it. She has a strong nose, you know! Okay, I'm going down! The party is over! I will not have a bunch of drunks roaming around our house!"

I stayed quiet, watching the gorgeous blonds walk into the living room. I was thankful they couldn't see me in this strange darkness.

"What are you doing?" he asked his sister, stopping her in her tracks. "You're going the wrong way."

"I know that!" she snarled, yanking her arm out of his grasp. "I need an axe."

"Why? I dare ask."

"You'll see." She told him, leaving him alone with me in the darkness. I saw Jasper run his strong hands through his suave locks, as he paced back and forth. My body froze when he dropped down on the sofa, a few spaces from where I sat. I held my breath.

"Did you find one yet?" he shouted, playing with his lovely hair again. I stared longingly at it. _"I want to touch it...oh god, cut it out!"_

"YES!" shouted Rose in victory. When she returned, our jaws dropped at how Rosalie held the deadly weapon. She looked like she was ready to kill.

"Rose, put that back!" ordered her brother, staggering to his feet to stand in front of her. Rosalie smirked and shook her head.

"It's just for scare." she affirmed, walking around him and exiting the living room once again.

"Wonderful." Jasper sighed, sitting back down from exhaustion. "What a nice way to make a first impression."

I smiled at his clever joke, but then sucked my teeth in feeling my finger sting in pain. I felt the cushions shift as Jasper jumped off the couch and stared at where I sat.

"I didn't mean to scare you." I whispered, lightly sucking on my wounded finger._ "How deep was this damn cut anyways?"_

For the hundredth time, my cheeks burned as his frightened eyes made sure I wasn't some kind of abnormal creature that lurked in the dark.

"Alice, is that you?" he asked, his hand reaching out to touch me. I lent back from his curious hand.

"Mhm." I uttered, my bloody finger still in my mouth.

"Hang on a minute." he said. I continued nursing my wound when I heard him walk across the room. A bright yellow light caused my sensitive eyes to snap shut. I heard Jasper laugh as he made his way back to me on the couch.

"Sorry, little vampire." he joked. "You can open your eyes...it's not sunlight."

I accidentally bit my finger, making me let out another pathetic whimper. My eyes fluttered open and saw him staring at me in amusement. I nervously pulled it out of my mouth and then licked the blood off my bottom lip. His amusing expression turned to concern as he stared my minor injury.

"Did you hurt yourself, darlin'?" he drawled, taking my hand in his. My breath caught in my parched throat, watching him examine the tiny cut. As much as I wished to pull away from from him...I couldn't. It was impossible for me to retaliate from his nurturing caresses. His tender touch had me in a powerful daze. And for some odd reason...I liked it. It made me feel safe.

"I didn't mean to..." I said, shuddering as something warm fluttered in the pit of my tummy. The calloused feel of his fingers tickled the pale skin of my palm as he forced my hand to open wider. I bit back a gasp when he pinched the pad of my pointer finger, drawing more blood out of the small wound. "Ow.."

"Shh, it's alright, darlin'." he assured me, gently wiping the red fluid with the front of his flannel shirt. I leaned my head back on the couch, loving the way his hands soothed mine.

"Want me to kiss it all better?" he whispered, bringing my hand up to his perfect lips, which almost brushed my sensitive skin. _"Oh god yes..."_ My eyes fluttered closed as my body shivered from head to toe.

"Hmm..."

I kept my mouth shut after realizing what came out it._ "Did I just mew?" _Through my lashes, I saw his lips curl into a small smile before they puckered against my healed cut. I couldn't control myself and emitted another embarrassing sound as his calloused hands lulled me to sleep.

* * *

**I'm tired...**


	8. I wanna go home!

**Hi... Sorry about my late updates. I've been busy with work and was also pissed off with somethings *Coughhenrycough* and especially with "Let me in." Fucking writer's block! But no have no worries...chapter 34th is halfway done! I just have to add some more stuff to it (No sex though!) I'll have it posted by Thursday or Friday. I SWEAR!  
**

**I'll leave you with this for now. Thanks again :/**

* * *

**Chapter 8: I wanna go home!**

_My toes curled as his soft lips descended on my mine, his talented tongue igniting a fiery need that I've never known in my eighteen years. _

_"Oh!" I gasped into his mouth, my eyes fluttering when his strong hands traveled down my small body. He tore his lips away from mine and kissed his way down my neck, making me shiver at how stimulatingly good that felt. "Oh god...oh!" _

_"Alice..."_

_ A small whimper escaped my ravished lips when his thick erection budged against my thigh. A boiling heat slowly crept between my legs and my hips buck up to his. Oh god, I never knew such pleasure existed... this felt so amazing!_

_"Alice..." he whispered again, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin of my collarbones. Arching my back, I dug my fingers into his silky hair to encourage his delightful teasing. I mewed more and more when he nuzzled his face on the crook of my neck, whispering sweet nothings into my fair skin. _

_"Oh, Jasper..." I moaned, my head spinning wildly. My fingers continued playing with his golden locks as his mouth imprisoned mine with his intoxicating kisses. I wanted more.  
_

_"Now that you're all warmed up..." _

_My eyes snapped wide open and my heart's slow tempo sped at the sudden change of his sexy Southern drawl. My lungs shriveled from lack of oxygen when his usual light weight became heavy on me; I couldn't move. _

_"Jasper, what are you doing?" I asked through uneven breaths.  
_

_As he laughed, his silky curls dramatically changed beneath my fingers. In my hands was now a matted mess of black wires. My worst fears have caught up with me.  
_

_"You'll always be mine, Mary." My rapist sneered, dragging his dry tongue along the contours of my jaw. "No one could please you like I can."_

_"No..." I sobbed, the fire in my stomach cooling with disgust. "Please..."_

_"Nonsense, Mary Alice." he growled as his filthy hand grabbed my tear-stricken face. "You're the little temptress. We both know this isn't my fault." _

_I screamed just as his foul mouth attacked mine. _

"Stop it!" I screamed, covering my face with my hands to prevent the bastard from kissing me. "No..." I sobbed into my palms. _"How could he say that? He knows what he's done to me! He hurt me! I was a fucking child! How could an innocent ten year old seduce anyone?" _My shoulders shook uncontrollably as my mind played that wretched nightmare over and over again.

"Alice?"

I gasped when two manly hands touched my shaking shoulders. I retaliated from them before they could have their _sick way_ with me. _"Can't he just leave me the hell alone? He's damaged me so much already! What more does he want?" _My lips quivered just as another set of tears broke through the cracks of my closed fingers. _"Why did he hurt me? Did I deserve it?"_

"Hey now..." someone said, his fingers gently wrapping around my wrists. I squeaked as I tried to get rid of them but they tightened their hold on. "It's alright, darlin'."

My cries came to an end when I recognized that Southern accent. _"Who else do I know with that stirring drawl?" _Another gasp emitted from me when my body was forced into his protective arms. I shivered, feeling his fingers softly combing through my dark hair whilst rocking us back and forth to calm me down. I hiccuped a couple times as more tears spilled.

"You're alright." he soothed me, his hands moving from my hair to my wet cheeks. He pulled my face away from his chest so I could look into his worried blue eyes. "Jasper's got ya." His thumbs wiped the tears from my cheeks. I almost leaned into his to tender touch as my body subsided from its recent shakes and trembles. My hands covered his, which still lingered on my face. As much as I hate being this close to a complete stranger (let alone any man) I've never been this safe after a nightmare. _This definitely is odd..._

I shuddered, imagining him transforming into the_ beast_ like he did in my dream. "_Shit, it felt so real."_ Another set of watery fluid blurred my vision. _"It shouldn't be real."_

"Whatever it is, you're safe now." Jasper whispered, catching every single one of my annoying tears. _"God, I wish I'd stop crying!"_

"Where's Bella?" I croaked as I drew away from his comforting embrace, which I regretted doing. I felt cold. As pathetic as it sounds, my body needed his warmth around me again. _"Alice...shut up."_

"Bella's knocked out." he told me with a nonchalant grin plastered on his charming face. My eyes widened in disbelief. _What?_

"What do you mean?" I piped up, wiping madly at my cheeks. "I can't go home without her!"

My arms folded themselves across my chest as I silently cursed my irresponsible best friend. _"What the hell? What am I going to do now? I'm at some stranger's house and I have no idea how to get home from here! Great!" _I pouted my lips when I heard Jasper chuckle next to me.

"Don't worry about it." he assured me, nudging my shoulder. "I'll take you tomorrow." I raised my eyebrows at him and he only smiled back at me. "It's too dark out to be driving, darlin'."

"But you don't know where I live." I reasoned. I honestly didn't want him to take me. What if he turns out to be some kind of a maniac who lures innocent girls with his kindness just to rip them apart? I will not stand for it. Too much has happened to me already. "I'll go wake her up right now. Is she sleeping in the basement?"

I made an attempt to stand but I couldn't because my feet weren't even close to the ground. I checked to see if we were still in the living room; We weren't.

"I'll take you first thing in the morning." Jasper affirmed, his hand reaching for something in front of us. "And no. Bella is in the guest room with Edward." I pouted again as he unraveled something in his hands. It turned out to be a blanket. I assumed it was a light color due to the darkness of this unknown room, which reminds me...

"Where am I?" I asked him, watching him stand over me. He smirked as he threw the blanket over my body. That's when I discovered I was on a bed. _"Oh my god!"_ I now glared at him. _"Who does this bastard think he is?"_ I then lifted the blanket. _"Did he...?"_ I noticed that my lumpy red sweater and my faded jeans were gone! All I had on was my long fitted white shirt, that rode past my hips, revealing my cotton panties. _ "Oh no!"_ I felt like crying again. _"He did something to me!"_ My eyes teared up while I clutched the blanket to my almost exposed chest.

"My room." he simply answered, not paying any attention to my horrified expression. Jasper sat back down on the bed and I scooted away from him. "What's wrong?" He finally caught on. He observed the way I held the soft material and then sighed. "Sorry, I thought you could use something a little more comfortable."

I glowered at him. _Bullshit._

"It's too hot for you to be sleeping around in that large sweater and those jeans. I was practically sweating just by seeing you in them. No offense."

Jasper held up his hands in surrender. His explanation didn't make me feel any better so I kept holding on to the fabric for dear life. He reached out to touch my hair but I dodged it.

"You shouldn't worry so much." He grinned at me when I glanced back at him. "But I'll tell ya this..." His eyes scanned my body through the blanket and I felt my cheeks burn in humiliation. "I'm not much of a pervert, but..." he paused so he could wink at me. I swear my heart stopped beating. "I did like what I saw."

I didn't know whether I should be flattered or offended but I knew that my cheeks had a competition with Bella's furious blushes. _"I can't believe he just said that to me! He is a fucking pervert!" _I bit my lip as my eyes lowered to the soft blanket. _"Should I be scared?" _My fingers nervously twitched as I pictured myself half naked in front of him. _"Ugh."_ I shuddered in disgust. _"He liked what he saw_." Unbelievable. There was nothing on my _sabotaged_ body that would please anyone; My abnormal height and lack of meat make me look like a thirteen year old boy. My pale breasts were smaller than a pile of pebbles as the sacred spot between my legs remained torn apart from abuse. My narrowed hips made my waist even smaller and I hated it because I looked more breakable. And there was nothing remarkable about my flat ass._ "Did he really see all that? I'm appalled. And my god, he touched me..."_

"D-did you...?" I stammered, my face crumbling as my legs closed tightly together._  
_

"No, don't cry." I heard Jasper say, pulling me into his arms for the last time. "I was joking. It was Rose who changed you, not me." his hands rubbed my arms to calm me, and it was working. "That would've been wrong on my part."

"Rosalie did it?" I asked, relief sweeping through me. He nodded as he hands kept working their magic on my arms. _"Oh thank goodness."_ I brought my hands up to my face. _"I seriously need to stop crying over nothing. It's getting pathetic." _

"Feel better?" My spine tingled when his lips brushed my temples. _"Oh..." _I held my breath, dropping my hands onto my lap as his tangled in my hair.

"Mhmmm." I moaned, leaning my head back as his fingers massaged my scalp. My eyes fluttered closed just as he repeated himself in my ear. I sighed in response, slowly succumbing to a peaceful sleep.

* * *

The sun's bright rays awoke me from my relaxing slumber. _"I feel great." _I stretched my arms above my head and the muscles flexed nicely without any aches or pains_. "Wow! I haven't felt like this since I was nine." _My moment of happiness was interrupted by a couple of distant grunts. The warm blood flowing through my veins froze just as my eyes went wide. _"Shit, what was that?" _I heard them again and I fearfully gripped the light blue blanket, which then caught my attention.

"This isn't mine..." I whispered as I eyed the cottony material with extreme curiosity. _"This might be Cindy's blanket." _I convinced myself, gently removing it from my body. _ "And where are my pajama bottoms?" _I groaned when I noticed I was only in a worn-out white shirt. My small fists rubbed the sleep away from my eyes just as my feet landed on something soft and woolly. _"That's odd..." _I thought. _"Did we get carpets overnight?"_ My body stilled at the annoying low grunts. _"What ever happened to privacy?"_

"Cynthia." I growled, still rubbing my eyes while taking a few steps forward. "What have I told you about bothering me? Why don't you-?" I gasped once my eyes opened for the second time._ "What the fuck happened to my room?"_

Instead of boring white, the walls came alive with black and gray vertical stripes along with numerous posters of rock bands and exotic women._ "Ew!" _Disgusted, I looked over at the several boxes stacked around a black writing desk on the opposite side of the room. I spotted my chucks resting on top of a half open box as my red sweater and jeans were neatly folded on a wooden bureau. I swore under my breath after noticing that I was half naked in a stranger's room._"Son of a bitch! What the hell happened last night?"_

The tiny hairs on the back of my neck bristled at the continuous grunts and moans coming from the foot of the queen sized bed. I bit back a scream just when a foot caught my eye.

"H-hello?" I stammered. "Is-is someone there?" Besides my chattering teeth, I could also hear my bones quake in fear as my blood ran cold throughout my body. I drew out a short breath after not receiving an answer. I looked at my clothes waiting for me on the bureau. I swore again, wondering how on Earth I would retrieve them. The foot twitched as the stranger let out another sleepy grunt.

"Damn." I squeaked, almost wishing for some sort of telekinetic powers. There's no way I'm walking over there to get my shit. What if it's a trap or something? The creep must be waiting for me to make a move.

"What am I going to do now?" I muttered, mentally devising a cunning plan. _"Okay, I'll just walk quietly, grab my clothes and then make a run for it." _I nodded at my promising plan._ "Here it goes..." _I held my breath as I took one step at a time across the off-white carpet, without paying any mind to the twitching foot. I winced when I heard another groggy grunt from behind me. _"Good, I passed it."_ A gush of air came out of me when the tips of my fingers touched the wooden ridge of the bureau. _"Now take the clothes and run!"_ But before I could take off, a sad little girl in the mirror stopped me in my tracks.

"My god..." I mouthed, gawking at the poor little girl. Even though the bags under her gray eyes disappeared from a good night's sleep, she was still an emotional wreck. I tucked back a loose strand of dark hair behind my ear and the girl mimicked me. I noticed a band-aid wrapped around her thin pointer finger as her hand smoothed her tousled hair. My eyes looked away from the wretched mirror to the hand that slowly drew away from my hair. My brows pulled together as I stared at the beige band-aid on my finger. _"When did I get this?"_

"Hey, you're awake." someone rasped from behind me. I gasped, holding my sweater very close to my chest. I looked into the mirror and saw Jasper squinting in my direction as he laid on the carpet by the end of the bed. I looked back at my nursed finger as realization dawned on me. _"I completely forgot about yesterday."_

"How did you sleep?" he asked me.

"I...uh...umm...good." I answered in a small voice, feeling slightly nervous while remembering his tender touches from last night. I felt a light blush creeping on my cheeks as I slowly turned around to face him._ "How on earth did I forget that? I'm such an idiot..." _

"I'm glad." Jasper yawned while getting to his feet. "I guess I should take you home now."

His lush lips were moving but I couldn't hear a thing. I was too busy gawking at this beautiful man. _"How could I forget about last night? What was wrong with me?" _I swear my mouth salivated at the lean muscles rippling through his gray wife-beater, as the ones on his toned arms flexed. I bit my bottom lip just watching him push the wavy gold strands away from his crystal blue eyes._ "Oh wow..."_ Moving lower, I took note of his well-defined legs that were attached to his taut round ass...

"You best be getting ready soon, darlin'." His dreamy voice interrupted my naughty thoughts and my cheeks burned even more. "I plan to take you before the others wake up."

"The others?" I asked, suddenly confused but still distracted by his godlike stature.

"Yeah..." he chuckled as he carried on, "Bella and Edward kept us all awake from their...ahem...well, you're lucky you've slept like a rock." He threw me a kind smile and I couldn't force myself to look away from it. His smile was slowly slipping off his perfect lips and his captivating eyes grew dark as they looked down from my face. "You should get dressed."

I frowned, following his gaze and once I did, my hands quickly wrapped the red sweater around my waist to hide my revealing white panties. _"Oh, how embarrassing!"_ My face flushed when I noticed a prominent bulge in the front of his pajama bottoms. He cleared his throat to get my attention.

"I'll leave you alone while I'll go fetch you a toothbrush, okay?" Jasper said, dragging the blanket from his bed and folded it into quarts. He held it in front of the protrusive bump. "Be right back." He told me and then limped out of his room, leaving me confused, embarrassed, and oddly _bothered_.

* * *

"I feel like a taxi driver." Jasper joked, looking back at me through his rear view mirror. "Are you sure you don't want to sit in the front?"

"I'm good here, thanks." I said, avoiding his gaze by staring out the window. I smiled a little at the familiar passing houses. _"Good, we're almost there."_

"Okay..." he sighed, making a left turn on a red light. I leaned my head against the window as my fingers played with the lock. I heard Jasper whistle a tune and my eyes were becoming heavy until he stopped.

"Am I in the right neighborhood?" he asked me. I leaned away from the window to check if he was. I smiled again when I saw my baby sister playing hopscotch in front of our house from afar.

"Mhm." I answered, watching as he drove closer and closer to my destination. "It's here."

"Alright." said Jasper, grinning at me. "I'll drop you off..." I returned the kind gesture as I unbuckled my seat belt, "after I treat you for breakfast." My appreciative grin rapidly turned into a frown when he passed my house. His devilish grin never left his face all the while I glared at him.

"Where are you going?" I shouted. "You just passed it!"

"I know." he laughed, stepping on the pedal. My heart hammered as I flew back in my seat. "I just thought we'd grab a bite to eat at Ihop. They make great pancakes, you know?"

"I don't care! Drop me off here!" I demanded. Jasper shook his head and locked all the doors of his car.

"Not after I feed you." he affirmed. Man, this guy is so thick-headed! I wanted to throw something at him.

"There's no need for that! I have food at my house!" I tried to reason with him but it was too late; He found a parking spot in front of the blue and white restaurant.

"Come on, little one." he told me as he unlocked the car doors. I grumbled angrily while stepping out of his black mustang. He threw me a wary look when I slammed it's expensive door.

"It deserves it!" I hissed, crossing my arms like a stubborn child. "Because you keep refusing to listen to me!"

I frowned at myself for sounding like a spoiled brat. Jasper rolled his eyes as he set the time on the parking meter._ "The nerve of him! " _Afterward, he placed both his hands on my shoulders and I looked up at him. His blue eyes twinkled with joy that I finally stopped my foolish rants.

"You always run away from me, darlin'." I nearly melted when his tongue licked across his lavish lips as his strong hands massaged my frail shoulders. "And now I have you all to myself..." His face lowered to the side of my head and his lips hovered close to my ear, "for an hour."

I shivered, my nails digging through the sleeves of my sweater as he pulled back to look at me.

"You're annoying." I snarled, my face almost resembling my red sweater. "And a sick bastard. I hope you know that."

Jasper pouted his lips as his hand covered his heart.

"Ouch, darlin'."

* * *

**If you all haven't noticed, I have an obsession with Ihop. They do make the best pancakes! Ugh! Why didn't I apply there? Oh well! And you know something? Every time I sleep like a baby, I never remember the day before. Hehe! Okay...  
**

**Thank you again :)  
**


	9. How awkward can this day get?

**Hi... This story has been on my mind all day besides Let Me In. Really! I'm not kidding! I've been dreaming about it. Especially the rated-R scenes (Wink!) Just so you all know, Alice will be happy...soon. Okay? **

**Ugh! I wish my family and Hen-Hen's mom would stop bothering me! This wedding crap is too much! How will I survive this? I'm gonna start sweating like a sinner in church! It's horrible! But then again...I'll just focus on me and my** **fiancé****'s future happiness. (Sigh) Umm...no, that's not working at all. JUST KIDDING! Lol**

**Okay, I'll leave you all alone :P Enjoy this chappie!  
**

* * *

**Chapter 9: ****How awkward can this day get?****  
**

"Would you care for a drink?" asked Jessica Stanley, my former rival from Forks High. She was standing over my shoulder and I could feel her glaring at the back of my head, preparing to torment me with insults like she usually had done back in High school.

Across from me, Jasper smiled politely at the curly-haired girl and answered, "Yes, ma'am. I'd like a sprite, please?" He tore his enchanting eyes away from the snob to me. "What about you, darlin'?"

_"Stop calling me that!" _I frowned at him, feeling my blush painting my pale cheeks. I quickly looked over my shoulder at the evil waitress and immediately regretted it. Even though I hated her so much, I couldn't deny how strikingly pretty she was. But then again...everyone is prettier than me. _"Why am I always bothered by beautiful people? My self-esteem is already below zero."_

Jessica Stanley was a foot taller than me, with dark curly hair which made the smokey blue of her oval-shaped eyes pop. Apart from my ghastly pallor, her freckled skin was a dark shade of peach as though she had been kissed by the flaming sun. Her body was a lot better than mine but not as impressive as Rosalie's or Bella's. The buttons of her fitted aqua shirt looked as if they were about to burst open due to her exaggerated chest. Past her flat stomach and average waist line, her hips were extremely wider than ever. My mother used to say that if your hips are as wide as your forearm, meant that you need to keep your legs firmly closed when it comes to the opposite sex. _"Ew..."_

"Alice?" Jasper's eloquent drawl brought me back to Earth. Embarrassed, I looked away from Jessica and raised my eyebrows at the Southern Gentleman in question. "Are you wanting a drink, darlin'?"

_"What did I say about calling me that?" _

"Umm...uhh..." I stammered. Out of the corner of my eye, Jessica moved to stand in between us. "I'll have a glass of orange juice?" I mentally slapped myself for saying that in a question. I heard the snobby girl snort in amusement when my face resembled a ripe tomato.

"Mhm." the snob uttered, dropping a large brown folder in front me and then gracefully handed Jasper his. "I'll be back with your drinks." I scowled when I saw her wink at Jasper before turning her back to us.

Jasper chuckled lightly at the waitress' obvious attempt to flirt with him. His eyes were on me the moment we were left alone. Blushing furiously, I avoided his longing gaze by paying attention to the other Ihop customers around us. I almost didn't notice his calloused hands reaching for mine, as I focused on a cute little dark-skinned girl sitting on the other side of the restaurant. Her black braided plaits fell over her tiny shoulders, as she scribbled on her coloring book with great enthusiasm.

"What are you looking at, Alice?" Jasper asked, curiously turning his head in search for the answer.

"Mmm." I emitted, watching the cute little girl brandishing her coloring book under her father's nose. A tiny smile broke across my face at the adoring look he gave his young daughter as he appraised her childish scribbles. With the child's permission, he took the book and showed it to his beautiful coffee-skinned wife. She gently rubbed her swollen stomach as she too admired her daughter's fine art work.

"That's lovely, Asia!" she gushed, her big brown eyes alight with endearment. "Maybe you'll teach the baby how to color!"

Her husband smiled in agreement as he hoisted the little girl to his lap and placed a loving kiss on her forehead.

"I teach the baby, mommy!" she giggled, joy radiating off of her as her father tickled her sides. "It's my job! I am Cassie's big sister!"

As both her parents laughed along with their innocent child, I tore my eyes away from them, feeling something stab through my heart. _"Why is this happening to me?"_

"Alice, you alright?"

I looked up from my hands to the soft blue orbs of the beautiful Southern Gentleman. I could feel my face getting hotter as he looked at me with concern.

"I'm okay." I lied, twirling my thumbs over and under as I folded my hands together.

"Are you sure?" he pressed, his hands reached over to mine and stopped them from fidgeting. "You were smiling for one minute and then you just looked sad."

"I'm okay." I repeated, staring hard at him with a annoyance. "What are you? A therapist?"

He raised his eyebrows at me in shock and then withdrew his hands from mine. I sighed, feeling horrible for taking that tone with him.

"I'm sorry." I said to him, crossing my arms across my unimpressive chest. "I didn't mean to sound like a complete bitch-"

Jasper's hearty laugh cut me off and I felt my annoyance return.

"What?" I demanded.

"Oh, nothing." he said, his eyes twinkling as his laughter died down. "It's the only way to get you to finally talk to me, that's all."

I glared at him, taking back my apology. Just when I was about to open my mouth to give him a piece of my mind, Jessica returned with our preferred drinks. I gulped when I saw a familiar spark playing in her smokey blue eyes as she placed Jasper's sprite in front of him. She rolled her eyes at me before turning to look at Jasper with a smitten expression on her pretty face.

"Here you go." she gushed, biting her thin lower lip as she batted her lashes at him. "Enjoy."

"Thank you, ma'am." he said, looking over at me with a cheeky grin as he dropped his straw in his sprite. The look on Jessica's face when she couldn't enchant him scared the shit out of me. I felt the worse of today is yet to come.

"Here you go." Jessica hissed so low that only I could hear her. Her eyes were wide with malice as she set my cup of orange juice in front of me. "I hope you enjoy this one, you little freak."

"Thanks." I squeaked, my stomach twisting into a tight knot. Jessica smirked at me while she took out a pad and pen out of her apron.

"So what are we having today?" she chirped, bouncing lightly on the balls of her feet, allowing her "girls" to bounce along. I saw Jasper shake his head as his eyes scanned the menu. I was getting the feeling that he was indeed staring at her extremely large breasts, which were definitely begging for his attention. I didn't like it one bit. If only I were a little prettier...more developed...and purer._ "Oh well."_ I glared at my own menu.

"I'll have the ham & egg melt." Jasper answered, looking up from his menu and completely ignored the busty girl whose eyes blazed dangerously when he winked at me. "I haven't had that in a while."

My cheeks were burning like hell and for some odd reason, I felt my nipples perk up against the cottony material of my bra. I averted my eyes from his and nervously adjusted my sweater, in fear that he could see through my clothes. It was strange. The only time _they_ would normally react like this is when I'm cold. This is just fucking strange. _Why?_

"And what would _you_ like?" Jessica said to me, feigning a friendly smile as the end of her pen repeatedly stabbed the pad.

I stopped fidgeting with the front of my sweater and returned to my menu. I bit my lip as my brows pulled together.

"What do you want?" she urged. I sensed her tapping her foot in anticipation. I started to get extremely nervous.

"Take your time, darlin'." assured Jasper. I could hear an encouraging smile spreading across his godlike face.

"Anytime now, little one."

I have never hit a human being in my whole entire life, but I'm more than willing to smack a bitch. This fucking whore is hitting a fucking nerve!

"Fine." I growled, slowly staring up at the damn waitress. "I'll have the strawberry and banana pancakes then."

She rolled her eyes and then wrote down my order. I folded my arms across my chest as I turned my head to the windowsill. Jasper's light chuckles made me whip my head to his direction. I held my folded arms tightly to my chest, still having that fear that he could _see_. I tensed up even more when that smile of his reached his crystal blue eyes, which were sparkling madly with glee. Goddamn him.

"Your meals will be done shortly." Jessica announced, seductively lowering her notepad and pen back inside her apron before turning on her heel.

"Well," began Jasper, obviously flattered that someone has taken a keen interest in him because of that charming smile he wore, "that was...umm...interesting."

"It's unnerving." I grumbled in disagreement, fixating on my orange juice. He laughed across from me and this time, I chose not to look at him.

"You're really upset with me, aren't ya?" he asked me, probably taking note of my moody behavior. "I only wanted you to like me, darlin'."

I looked up from my drink to see him pouting his lip at me as his bright blue eyes widened with innocence._ "He's so cute..."_ I bit my lip from wanting to laugh, so instead my lips formed into a small smile. His adorable pout turned into a wide smile, which nearly freaked me out because I felt something warm flutter from the pit of my tummy to the damaged area between my legs. Embarrassed by this strange sensation, I bowed my head. _"What the fuck is going on with me?"_

"You're alright there, little lady?"

_Fuck off._

"I'm fine." I mumbled, hugging myself tighter as I stared at my lap. I heard him laugh at my insecurities.

"You can't possibly be this adorable, are ya?" he chuckled and my cheeks boiled from embarrassment due to that unnecessary compliment.

"Mmm... leave me alone." I grumbled, stopping myself from grinning like an idiot. Stealing one glance at him, the idiotic smile broke across my scarlet face when he winked at me.

"Is that smile for me, darlin'?" Jasper asks, wiggling his eyebrows at me. He reminded me of that freaky whistling wolf in those Tex Avery cartoons. I giggled, blushing harder while lowering my eyes on my orange juice. "How generous of you to give me something so pretty."

_Oh god, stop it._

I couldn't stop smiling. This guy was too much but the weird thing is... I didn't want him to stop. He was making me feel very warm and plus...I have never smiled so much like this before. What is it with him?

"Ham & egg melt?"

Like a candle, my moronic grin extinguished from my lips when the bitch returned, carrying a black tray of our orders. Jasper tore his amazing blue eyes away from me and flashed her an alarmingly gorgeous smile while raising his hand. Jessica threw him an alluring grin while placing his order in front of him. Paying close attention, I watched her slip a tiny piece of paper beside his plate as her fingers grazed his arm in affection. Part of me wanted to rip her to shreds.

"I hope you enjoy your meal." she gushed, batting her lashes at Jasper, who mirrored her cheesy grin causing her cheeks to turn into a soft pink color.

"Thank you, ma'am." he said kindly, now staring back at me. It surprised me how he could ignore a very attractive girl like Jessica just so he could pay attention to a plain midget like myself. "I won't eat until the little darlin' across from me gets her food." I suppressed a giggle when the seductive grin wiped off the bitch's face. "Would you mind giving her her food. It's going to get cold."

"Of course I won't mind." snarled Jessica, her teeth gritting together as she faked a smile. The warm blood left my face when the flirtatious failure turned to my direction. "Here you, little _darlin'_."

I saw Jasper raise his eyebrows at her back as she sauntered towards me with my strawberry pancakes.

"Umm..."I murmured, sitting up straight all the while I stared at the malice inflicting from her smokey blue eyes. "Thank you." I told her when she finally set my order down in front of me, her dirty glare boring into my soul.

"No problem, Brandon." she whispered to me, pushing the plate a little too close to the full glass of orange juice. "Enjoy." I unwrapped my arms from my chest and placed my own hands on top of the table to move the glass over, but it was too late; the bitch purposely knocked the glass over, completely drenching the front of my favorite red sweater.

_Oh crap!_

Jasper was the first to react; He grabbed a handful of napkins and sprinted next to Jessica, who kept apologizing as she "cleaned" my front with her own batch of clean napkins.

"Oh my freaking god, I'm so sorry!" she squealed, her nails ruining the front of my sweater. "I'm so, so sorry! I'm just so clumsy today!"

_"Clumsy my ass." _the voice in my head scoffed while I just sat there, humiliated.

"It's alright, ma'am." Jasper told her, nudging her away, his gentle eyes glued on my shamed-stricken face. "I'll take it from here. Just get us more napkins, please."

Jessica nodded and when Jasper wasn't looking, she rolled her eyes at him and them smirked evilly at me before letting us be.

"You're fine, darlin'." he assured me, gingerly patting the massive wet spot on my chest as he took a seat next to me. "It's only your sweater that got wet."

I gulped, my mind disagreeing with him as I thought of the plain white shirt beneath the red sweater. It was wet as well, considering the fact that the sweater was thin.

"You should take this off." Jasper suggested, making one last wipe as he looked at me. "You'll feel less uncomfortable."

I shook my head at him, my arms wrapping themselves around me. I don't wanna take it off!

"What do you mean no?" he chuckled, pinching my arm as his blue orbs eyed me with amusement. "Besides it's hot in here. How could you wear that lumpy thing?"

"It's not lumpy!" I argued, scooting away from him while clutching the front of my ruined sweater. "It's comfortable and I won't take it off! You can't make me!"

"It's wet." He laughed, getting up to sit back in his own seat across from me. "I was just trying to help ya, that's all."

"I'm fine, thank you." I muttered, uncrossing my arms to get a better look at Jessica's "accidental" mess. I groaned, noting the giant dark spot and a lose red thread unraveling near the zipper. Swearing under my breath, I unzipped the ruined sweater and gasped when I saw how erect my nipples were behind my bra, which was very visible through my damp white shirt. "Great..."

"Something wrong, darlin'?" asked Jasper. I nervously looked up from my wet shirt and was relieved that he was staring right at my face instead of my unimpressive chest. I shook my head at him as the sweater slid off my shoulders. He only smiled in response while his eyes traveled from my face down to the front of my slightly wet shirt. Somehow I knew my cheeks were going to start a fire, because of how hot they were.

"Can I go home now?" I asked him, my voice small and timid as I folded my arms across my chest. "I don't feel too well."

"Aww, you really don't want to get to know me better?" Jasper joked, pouting adorably at me and it made me feel bad. "Come on. At least enjoy breakfast with me. Please?"

I rolled my eyes, tightening my hold on myself.

"I promise to take you home after. Please?" he added, his eyes bright with hope. I bit my lip from wanting to smile but it failed me. "I get another beautiful smile?" he thrilled, making me blush twice as hard. "This must be my lucky day!"

I rolled my eyes again, wishing that he'd stop being so annoying and yet so nice to me.

Right after Jessica came back with a fresh batch of napkins, Jasper completely ignored her and kept his focus on his hot sandwiches. I tried my best to ignore my rival, but it was too hard; She kept throwing me dirty looks whenever I picked up my fork to enjoy my fresh strawberries. Jasper kept winking at me, encouraging me to pay no mind to her and enjoy my time with him. I thought it was sweet of him. No boy has ever done anything for me like this back in high school...well, Jacob doesn't count, he was only a good friend.

"So, how did such a good girl like you end up having friends like my sister and Bells?" he asked me, curiosity twinkling in his amazing blue eyes as he munched down on his first sandwich. "I'm confused. You're very innocent next to those girls." I frowned, setting my fork down just as I was about to eat a strawberry. His eyes suddenly grew big and then he added, "I'm not saying they're sluts or anything...it's just that you're not as wild as they are. Don't tell them that, promise?"

"I promise." I muttered, staring at the tiny ripe fruit in morose. His statement about my "innocence" bothered me because deep down, I knew I wasn't. I was damaged goods, impure, disgusting, and every other word that's supposed to describe a whore. I am a whore. I feel like one...

"Alice, you okay?"

_For fuck's sakes! How many times must he ask me that?_

"I'm fine, why?" I hissed, my eyes blinking rapidly as my shoulders slumped over.

"You looked like you were about to cry." he replied. I shrugged and then wiped the tears that were about to spill over. "Is something botherin' ya, darlin'?"

"No. No, I'm fine. I swear." I told him, feigning a smile to convince him of my certainty. I know I didn't fool him, because of the way he looked at me. He gave me that same look Bella and my mother would always give me whenever I lie to them. "I'm okay. Don't worry about me." I said, my teeth clinking together in irritation.

Still unconvinced, Jasper sighed and dove to his second melted sandwich. I watched him carefully hoist it up to his lips and my sorrow suddenly ebbed away when his velvet tongue ran across his seemingly soft bottom lip.

_Oh god..._

I gulped, my appetite refraining from the delicious strawberries to the lush lips of the Southern Gentleman who owns them. For the second time, an unknown but pleasing warmth traveled from my cheeks down to the pit of my stomach and then furthered down between my...

_What's wrong with me?_

My chest began to rise and fall as my nipples puckered behind the bra.

"So how are you friends with them?"

The pleasing heat returned to my face, forcing me to look down at my untouched plate._ "Shit..."_ I crossed my arms, praying to God that he won't notice my responsive breasts beneath my wet shirt.

"Umm..." I uttered, peeking at him through my lashes, my embarrassment growing stronger at the cheeky smirk plastered on his charming face. "Sorry?"

"How are you friends with them, darlin'?" he repeated, chuckling at my stunned facial expression.

"Umm...B-Bella and I have been friends since high school." I stammered, stabbing my pancakes and admiring how the strawberry syrup slid off the pancake's golden brown surface.

"That long?"

"Yeah." I answered, now cutting my pancakes into small bite-size triangles. "We're very close along with our buddy Jacob."

"Jake?" he laughed, eyeing me with disbelief as he dropped his half bitten sandwich on his plate. "You're friends with him? I can't stand him! He's very clingy, especially with Bells."

It was my turn to laugh, because it was true.

"Mhm." I agreed, remembering the last time I laughed like this. "Jacob always had a thing for Bella, but she always shrugs him off."

"That's because she's with Edward now."

I cringed, my mind going back to last night. Just the thought of that guy doing _naughty things_ with my best friend, still terrifies me. Especially since they both did _that _right in front of me.

"Has she always been the way she is?" Jasper asked me, watching me as though I were the most interesting thing ever to exist on Earth. I bit my lip nervously, ignoring the warm feeling stirring in my stomach.

"No." I replied, raising my fork up to my lips. I parted them to invite the ripe piece of strawberry in. Some of its juices dropped on my bottom lip and I couldn't but run my tongue over it. My taste buds began to dance to it's sweetness. Purring in contentment, I bit down on my fork and slid the juicy fruit into my mouth.

"Enjoying yourself there, little lady?"

I swallowed the strawberry without the courtesy of chewing it first when I looked straight at him. He was smirking at me, his eyes dark with for some odd reason.

"Hmm?" I emitted, my throat sore from the unchewed fruit.

"Nevermind." he said, shaking his head, his smile never leaving his beautiful face as he picked up his unfinished sandwich. My brows furrowed in confusion as I attacked the rest of the strawberries with my fork.

We both ate our meals in silence; I felt his gaze on me every time I would open my mouth to take a bite. I would often think to myself if that was normal or was it just me being self-conscious.

"Are we all set?" piped up the snobbish voice of Jessica Stanley. I pursed my lips, my eyes taking one final look at the bitch. She too was giving me a dirty look as she held out a small black check to Jasper, who seemed to be searching for something in his pockets. As soon as he found what he was looking for, Jessica feigned a smile at him and then handed him the small black folder.

"Okay." said Jasper, opening the folder as he set his empty plate aside. I watched him observe the price on the small piece of paper in utter fascination. He was quite a sight; The way his semi-long blond curls fell over his hypnotizing blue eyes, tempted me to just walk over there and push them away. His full pinkish lips mouthed whatever he was reading, making me wonder how they would feel on mine. And those hands, so big and so strong...I needed those hands to touch me...all over! The hell is wrong with me?

I shook my head in disgust, my mind chastising me for thinking of such thoughts. _"Really? What is going on with me?"_ My bottom lip was hurting so much from me biting on them as I continued staring at this godlike creature still examining the check. _"I honestly never thought of those things before...naughty things..."_

"Let me know when you're ready." said Jessica, who was tapping her foot in frustration as she waited for Jasper to pay. "I'll be back." She flipped her dark curls over her shoulder before taking off where ever she needed to be.

"Can you believe this?" said Jasper, disbelief imprinted in his eloquent voice. He looked up from the check in his hands to my dazed gray eyes. "It's more expensive than before. And the service wasn't even that great!"

I shrugged, and in my head I was planning the bitch's death. I was convinced she added some shit to the bill to screw us over for the way Jasper denied her.

"Oh well." he sighed, rolling his eyes as he took out two twenties from his leather brown wallet. "I'll just let it slide for now." He threw me a gentle smile before setting the small folder down beside his empty plate. "I don't want to give you a bad impression of me, darlin'."

_"Stop calling me that!"_

I mirrored the kind gesture, my cheeks burning for the millionth time. He laughed a little at my never-ending blush while getting to his feet. I watched in awe as he walked over to my side, offering a hand to help me from my seat. I only looked at it for a brief second before finally accepting it. As soon as our hands touched, I felt something that nearly scared the shit out of me, but it wasn't bad. The feel of my clammy hand in his large warm one was strange to me, but nice. It was as if it belonged there. I don't know...I'm very confused at the moment.

"Ready to go, darlin?" he asked me, squeezing my small hand, his bright and friendly smile slowly becoming my new obsession. I bit my sore bottom lip as I nodded, grabbing my ruined red sweater, and finally walking hand-in-hand to the Ihop exit. But before we stepped a foot out the door, Jasper stopped in his tracks and looked down at me, a look of realization dawning on his (sigh) face. "Shit, we forgot to put down the tip."

_Tip? You're kidding me, right?_

From the surprised look on my face, Jasper let out a loud laugh and then added, "Do you have a penny I could borrow?"

* * *

**Sooo? What do you guys think? :D Was it okay? Hehe! I know you guys may think it was random, but the little girl Alice was looking at for a moment, reminded her of what life used to be before she was... ahem. (shit)  
**

**I'm gonna go sleepy-bye now. Ciao! And thank you for those who stuck with me. You're awesome and I'm going to bake you a batch of cookies! :D Chocolate chip?**


	10. Can it end already?

**Hi readers! How's it going? How was Valentine's Day? Mine was crap! Not really, because I ate a lot of fudge that I'm won't be able to fit in my wedding dress! :P Kidding!**

**Ugh...I wish this whole wedding crap was over already! Henry and I had a fight on where the wedding should take place. He wanted Hawaii but I wanted California. He should totally consider Cali, because I'm deathly afraid of volcanoes. Hell to the no!**

**And shit... did you all hear what happened in Japan. Man, I'm so sorry for them, the disaster was like a double whammy. First an earthquake and then a tsunami? Horrible! My heart goes out to them. **

**Anyways... story time! :)**

* * *

**Chapter 10: Can it end already?  
**

"You did it again!" I shrieked, watching my house grow distant from the passenger window. "I swear you're doing this on purpose!"

"Guilty." Jasper admitted without a care in the world as he kept driving. I glared at him.

_The nerve of him!_

"Stop the car!" I demanded, my pale cheeks flushing with rage. "I can walk from here!"

"Nah!" he snorted, driving further up the road with a sly smirk on his annoyingly charming features. "I gotta do something first."

"But you promised you'd take me home right after that horrible breakfast!"

I bit my tongue when I saw the hurt flash across his face. I hung my head for not thinking straight. A hearty chuckle interrupted my pitiful train of thought and I looked up to find him smiling at me. His eyes were bright with mischief.

"I won't let you off that easy." Jasper laughed at the fear sparking in my wide eyes. "And I agree with you." He took one hand of the steering wheel and nudged my shoulder. "Ihop wasn't as great as I thought it would normally be." He paused when the light changed to red. "They should fire that girl."

"Whatever, take me home!" I snapped, the thought of Jessica Stanley aggravating me even more.

"No!" he snapped back, glaring at me from the corner of his eyes as he drove. I flinched, hugging my ruined sweater tightly to my chest. I hated being yelled at. Especially when _he_ does it to me. "I'm just kidding with you, darlin'." he chuckled lightly at my frightened state. "I do respect your wishes, but Rose texted me to be at the house. Apparently something is wrong."

I sighed, leaning back into my seat. _"Why couldn't he tell me before?"_ My eyes rolled inside my head. _"Wishes my ass!"_

"We're here!" he exclaimed, startling me.

"H-home?" I stammered, my head whipping around to see where we are. Disappointment grew inside me when I saw that we were nowhere near my house.

"My home." Jasper grinned, parking his car in the driveway right behind Bella's old chevy. "We're just gonna see what she wants and then you'll be home in no time, okay?" I glowered at him, wanting nothing more than to slap the living hell out of him. "Hey! Don't give me that look, darlin'! Be happy you're spending some quality time with the Jazzman."

I rolled my eyes at him and he reached out to ruffle my hair. I slapped his hand away, making him laugh.

"You seriously are adorable." he said to me, causing my pale cheeks to redden. I stuck my tongue out at him as he pulled away from me to turn off the car's engine. Once it was off, the car doors unlocked, and we were out.

* * *

Jasper's sister greeted us at the front door. My hand squeezed the large one in mine when I took in the heartbreaking beauty in front of me; Her golden locks were stacked upon her head in a messy bun as the remaining loose strands framed her perfect face. Her blue eyes were weary from lack of sleep, but they still remained dazzling and alluring. The large baggy t-shirt didn't do any good to her figure, but the red color made her fair skin glow so nicely.

"Mom wants you to bring the rest of the boxes up to the attic." said the tired Rosalie Hale, her eyes wincing as she rubbed her elegant long neck. Her delicate lily-like eyes opened and gave her brother a questioning look right after they spotted me standing nervously next to Jasper. Her eyebrows raised as her finger pointed at our conjoined hands. "What's going on? Did I interrupt something?"

Blushing furiously, I snatched my hand back and held it to my chest where my other hand clutched my red sweater. I heard Jasper laugh beside me as his sister continued to look at him with great suspicion. I was beginning to wonder if Rose had a bad vibe about Jasper's past relationships. I gulped, fearing her hate directing towards me even though nothing serious is going on between me and her gorgeous brother.

_"Enough with the swooning, Alice!"_ The voice in my head scorned. I obeyed, anxious to avoid another aggravating blush that would possibly get me into more trouble with the intimidating Rosalie Hale.

"We were just having breakfast, ain't no problem, Rose." he told his suspicious sister with a loving smile, his hand creeping up my back. I nearly shivered.

"I'll be back in a few, darlin'." he said to me, giving my shoulder a light squeeze before leaving me alone with Rose. I focused on the sage halls, wishing Jasper would come back so I wouldn't have to feel so uncomfortable with his sister. It seems as though he was my cure for my insecurities.

The corners of Rose's full red lips curled upward when she locked eyes with me. My own lips nervously mirrored hers as my hands continued clutching my sweater to hide the yellowish stain on my white shirt.

"I thought you left with Edward and Bella." she said to me, all traces of suspicion disappearing from her face. My brows furrowed in confusion, remembering my best friend's truck in the driveway.

"But her truck is still outside." I pointed out. Rosalie only grinned while extending her lithe arms above her head as her back arched. I cringed, hearing a slight cracking sound emitting from her.

"Edward must've offered her a ride, I guess." she giggled, her lily eyes twinkling in delight. "Would you like to help me with something, Alice?"

Before I could say anything, her hands grabbed my arm and pulled me through the sage colored halls.

* * *

"You stood up all night cleaning?" I asked, disbelief written in my voice. I almost fought back a blush when I realized how squeaky I must have sounded. Rose giggled as she swatted dirt of the red loveseat. I blessed her when some of the dust particles made her sneeze.

"Thank you." she said, wiping the tip of her perfect nose with the back of her hand. "And yes, I sure did. You wouldn't believe how much shit these people left behind. I almost felt like I was their mother, you know? Picking after them and what not?"

I nodded in agreement, remembering the noisy guests from last night. I shuddered when I thought about the pretty redhead snacking greedily on the cheetos.

"Gross." I grumbled.

"I know right!" Rose exclaimed and I giggled to myself because she had no idea what was going through my head. "It was pretty disgusting! I had to pick up thirty six bottle of beers and thousands of freaking chips with my bare hands! Can you believe it? I think my hands have mono now due to all that saliva creeping on those empty bottles! Ugh how disgusting!"

It was amusing watching the beautiful Rosalie Hale rant her heart out as she moved from place to place.

"I had to clean everything myself!" she shouted, signaling me over to help her push a wooden table back against the wall.

"That's a lie."

My breath caught in my throat while my head whipped up to see the charming Southern Gentleman at the foot of the basement stairs. He winked at me while running a hand through his suave locks. I looked away quickly, my cheeks heating as usual.

"Me, Ed, and Bells helped you. Don't go making up stories to our guest." he chuckled, I could feel his eyes on me right after he finished his last sentence.

"You guys only helped because I forced you." Rose spat, glaring daggers at her brother while beckoning me over to help with the remaining chairs.

"And to shut you up." scoffed Jasper, coming over to us. His large cold hands brushed the bare flesh of my arm when he took a chair from me. I could hear the sly smile playing across his soft lips as he took note of my obvious shock and embarrassment. "Why are you here with her, darlin'? Did she force you too?"

"Actually," retorted the blonde bombshell, marching up to her brother, "Alice was kind enough to offer her help unlike you three good-for-nothing idiots."

Jasper didn't bother to fight back so instead, he shook his head at his sassy sister while mumbling softly to himself. He ran his fingers through his golden locks as his bright blue eyes met my dull gray ones. I gave him a polite smile, my whole face heating.

"Alice, could I borrow you for a quick minute?" he asked, pushing the chair under the table. My teeth worried my bottom lip when I felt Rosalie's awkward suspicion suspending in our direction.

"Umm..." I murmured, my arms crossing in front of me. "I'm still helping..."

"It's just for a little while, darlin'." Jasper assured me, grinning at my nervous stricken expression. I shuddered at the sudden warm touch of his hand closing around my wrist. "And then you'll be home in no time."

Jasper ignored Rosalie's annoyed grunt when I quickly gave into him. He gave me one last heartwarming smile before leading me out of the almost clean basement.

"Are you sure I'll be going home soon?" I asked him, the nerves in my hand tingling inside his large manly hand as he led me up the stairs and back into his room, where it strongly reeked of testosterone. I heard him laugh at my question while I took my short time examining his room for the second time. Strangely, I began to feel less uncomfortable.

"What's your hurry?" he laughed, letting go of my hand and I frowned at the loss of his touch. I set my eyes on the queen sized bed, still as messy as I left it. "Are you that desperate to get away from me?"

He threw me a wink causing me to avert my eyes from his. My teeth bit down on my bottom lip when he walked away to the other side of the room.

"Umm..." I uttered, watching the beautiful man moved unstack the pile of boxes next to his unruly bed. "Maybe..." I could swear my teeth punctured my lip when the taut muscles of his strong arms flexed as he lifted a large rectangular box onto his bed.

"And I thought I was finally reeling you in." he sighed, grinning at me as his hands tore the box wide open. "Tell me, darlin'," he licked his lips in slow motion and I felt the strange stir between my inner thighs, "what will it take for you to stay a little longer with me?"

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat as I clutched my useless red sweater to my chest. I didn't like where this was going. If he thinks he has something planned for me, he better think again.

"Wh-what exactly do you need me for?" I fearfully asked, the blood running cold through my veins as a horrible sense of deja-vu took over me. My eyes widened when Jasper walked over to me, and I shut them once those strong hands touched my shoulders.

"Do you like music, Alice?"

A shaky breath escaped my lips as his thumbs massaged little circles on my trembling shoulders.

"There's no need to be scared of me, darlin'." he carried on, obviously taking note of my light shakes and trembles. "I only wanted to show you my guitar. I thought I'd play a little somethin' for you."

The fear rising inside of me vanished as my eyes slowly opened to find him staring down at me. My heart nearly fluttered when I saw the gentle gleam in his crystal blue eyes. My knees knocked together when that smile crept on those sinful pink lips of his, and I swear I couldn't keep my balance. Soon enough, I was in his arms.

Once more and to my annoyance, my whole body trembled at the soothing feel of his manly hands caressing my lower back. My chest pressed against his abdomen and I could feel my cheeks heat up when my nipples reacted. I shivered when his fingers traveled up my spine, to my shoulders, the back of my neck, until they touched the blush on my cheeks.

_"Such a strange feeling..."_

My own hands gripped at his sides, dropping the unwanted red sweater to the floor.

_"And oddly enough... it's not so bad."_

His thumbs began to trace soft, little circles on my blush and my teeth bit down on my bottom lip from wanting to give out an embarrassing moan.

"Alice?" he whispered to me, his tender touch sending waves of calm throughout my whole body. "You alright, darlin'?"

"Jasper..." I sighed, a warm ache throbbing between my legs as my fingers dug into the hard, warm skin beneath his shirt. "Hm...Jasper..."

"Alice, I want you to hear this." he said to me, his hands leaving my face for my hands, which were gripping at his sides. I bowed my head in pure humiliation and shame from what had just happened, but he reassured me by lightly squeezing my hands.

"Come here." Jasper told me, pulling me toward his bed. And that's when I snapped out of my trance.

_"So he is trying to have his sick way with me?"_

"I won't hurt you, darlin'." he assured me, reading my frightened expression as my hands retaliated from his. "I just want to show you something, that's all."

I shook my head at him, crossing my arms like a disobedient child. Jasper chuckled at me but I remained still, wanting nothing more than to be far away from him as possible.

"Are you always this stubborn, little lady?" he asked, his smile making me weak in the knees again. "Come here, sit with me." He patted the empty spot next to him as he twisted his body to the giant rectangular box behind him.

I waited to see if he was actually telling the truth. An annoyed sigh came out of me when he pulled out an old acoustic guitar and placed it over his lap.

"This is my pop's old guitar." he informed me, adjusting the tuning keys while his other hand strummed the tightening strings. "Ain't she a beauty?"

The corners of my lips twitched upward when his eyes met mine. I have to admit; this sight before was cute and I couldn't help myself but smile widely at him. His lips mirrored mine and there was a strange twinkle in the depths of his blue eyes.

"She?" I finally said, suppressing a small giggle while the annoying voice in my head questioned my fear for this harmless man. "It's a girl?"

"Yep." he simply answered, chuckling as he patted the bed again. "I call her Big Bess." Jasper grinned widely at me when I finally sat down next to him.

"Why that name?" I giggled, the butterflies fluttering madly in my tummy from being so close to him.

Jasper shrugged as his hands strummed the strings. The sound emitting from the old instrument somehow mad me the butterflies settle down.

_"How am I so calm whenever I'm with him? Why is that?"_

"S-so how long have you been playing?" I asked, the annoying color painting my cheeks when his eyes bore deep into mine as he kept playing.

"For as long as I could remember." Jasper replied, lowering his gaze from my face. I followed it and felt the butterflies erupt again when I found him staring at my chest, where my nipples were clearly _evident_ behind my dirtied white shirt. "Have you ever played anything?"

I shook my head as my eyes met his again, and I immediately lost myself in them. _"Such pretty eyes..."_

"Nothing?" he pressed, still playing his guitar as he stared at me as if I were the most fascinating creature in the world.

"Um...I used to play the clarinet back in Junior High." I admitted to him.

"How did that go for you?"

I shrugged, my fingers playing with the bottom of my shirt. "I didn't like it. It was too hard to put the pieces together and the I got tired of buying new reeds every week."

The melodic sound of the guitar seized and I looked to find him still staring at me with fascination.

"What are your interests?" he asked me. I told him that I have no interests but he remained unconvinced. "Come on, darlin', surely there is something you like. What is it?"

"Nothing really." I told him, avoiding his eyes which were just as anxious an answer. "I'm not good at anything."

"That's not true." he smiled kindly at me, his hand resting on top of mine which were fiddling with the bottom of my shirt. "Everyone is good at something."

"I'm not everyone." I frowned, my mind wandering to the old days when my hopes and dreams weren't shattered. "I'm nothing."

"No you're not, shut up." Jasper affirmed, nudging my shoulder. "Don't down yourself like that, especially about something that isn't true."

"It is true." I hissed, scooting away from him. "You don't know me."

"Can I at least try to know you?"

"No."

"Why not?" he asked me. A pang of guilt hit me like a ton of bricks when I locked eyes with him. The sadness on his handsome face made just want to reach out to him and press my lips on his...

_"The fuck is wrong with me?"_

I know Jasper is a very sweet person and that intrigues me. But I'm just afraid something will go wrong... I'm terrified he'll break away from this caring, sweet facade and will try to _hurt _me. I don't want any of that to happen. It already happened once in my life and I don't need anymore repeats...fuck that really hurts.

I gasped when something rough but warm touched my cheek, which was mysteriously damp.

"Why are you always crying, darlin'?" Jasper asked me, his hand going under my chin to tilt my head up to look at him. Once our eyes locked, I again was lost in their ocean-like depths."Did I offend you? If I did, I honestly didn't mean it."

I shook my head, more tears spilling from my eyes as my lip quivered. He wiped the salty fluid with his thumb as a gentle smile played on his lips.

"I know we've only met, Alice, but I really do like you." he confessed, stroking my cheek which heated under his calloused touch. "I'm dying to get to know you, please let me."

"Why should I let you?" I scoffed, wiping my tears with my own hands while I turned away my head away.

"Because..." he trailed off and I turned back to him when I heard a light chuckle coming from him, "I'll be your very, very best friend forever!"

I stared at him as if he had three heads. "I already have Jacob and Bella."

"Yeah..." he smirked, wiggling his eyebrows at me, "but they're not as cool as me."

I rolled my watery eyes at him as a giggle broke out of me. I felt the bed shift a little and I almost jumped off when his arm wrapped around my middle, pulling me closer to his side. My whole body went rigid, knowing how dangerously close he was to me in this very moment.

"Feeling better?"

I nodded, the tiny hairs on my arms standing on each end due to his tender strokes on my skin.

"You smell very good, darlin'." he whispered to me, his warm breath tickling my left ear.

_"What is he doing?"_

I'm seriously trying my hardest to breathe properly.

"And you're very soft." My lashes fluttered shut as soon as his lips brushed the sensitive skin below my earlobe while the hand around me held me tighter to him. "You taste so sweet..."

_"And why am I not fighting him off?"_

All of a sudden, I couldn't say or think of anything else besides his lips assaulting the heated flesh of my neck. My hands gripped his forearm as a small sound made it past my lips, which were slightly parting at the amazing feel of his hands sliding under my white shirt.

_"Oh my god... everything is so warm now."_

My thighs were rubbing together for some friction to satisfy the burning, moist need between them as his lips traveled up my neck to my jawline.

_"Fuck..."_

Something long tipped under my chin forcing me to turn my head to him. My eyes fluttered open to see his beautiful face closing the gap. My heart hammered like crazy, realizing that this was going to be my first kiss. I sighed, my eyes closing again when his hand caressed the side of my face as his warm breath tickled my quivering lips.

_"Oh my god...oh god!"_

"Alice!"

In a matter of seconds, my startled ass jumped from his bed at the screeching sound of my best friend's voice. Bella was standing there by the doorway, looking as disheveled as ever. She looked like a brunette version of Ke$ha; Her dark blue henley was tattered and stained from last night's partying, her long brown hair was a tangled mess, and her perfect make-up was ruined.

"Alice, there you are!" she gasped, her dark raccoon eyes glowering at me as if I were a naughty child. "I've been looking all over for..." she stopped talking when she noticed my flushed stature and the person responsible for it. "What the hell happened here?"

I bowed my head in shame while the blood ran hot all over my scarlet face.

_"Oh Shit."_

* * *

**:P Oookie! **

**I need some advice! I tried asking my family and friends about great places to have a simple wedding... but they suck, because they only care about being the damn bridesmaid and some other shit. **

**Oh! I'm almost done with the 43rd chapter of "Let me in". I'll post it by next Friday! I'm sure of it!**

**Ciao! And thank you guys for the support! :) Now...I'm gonna go look for the perfect white heels! UGH! I hate shopping!**


	11. Unexpected

**Hiiiiiiii! Lol! Yeah... so the wedding crap is still not planned! But I finally got the perfect shoes! And they look like hooker heels! JOKING! -.-**

**I'm so excited about the following chapters because the things I've been imagining are finally coming out in writing! I hope you guys enjoy this one. **

**PS: Never mind about California... It's out of the question because I'm scared shit of the damaged nuclear reactors. I heard it might spread all over the place!**

**OMG! Happy St. Patrick's Day! Everyone has been pinching me that day because I wasn't wearing green. Those assholes... I'm talking to you, Henry. I'm talking to you. **

* * *

**Chapter 11: Unexpected...  
**

_His hands were on my breasts by the time my shirt was off._

_"Alice..." he sig__hed, capturing my lips as he kneaded my hardened nipples. I moaned into our kiss, my entire body aching for him to touch me where ever he could get his hands on. __He tore his lips from mine and began to trail wet kisses down my neck as his hands slid from my heaving bosoms to my small waist._

_My eyes rolled to the back of my head when his teeth grazed and nipped the fair skin below my ear. My arms wrapped around his shoulders, only to have him as close to me as possible so that our bare flesh pressed against another. I want him so badly. I need him._

_I moaned softly, feeling the tumescent bulge when my legs around his waist. He buried his face in the crook of my neck, his grunts of pure bliss driving me insane as I rubbed myself on him. _

_"You don't know what you do to me." he growled, holding my revolving hips down on his clothed erection. Biting my lower lip, I leaned my head back to give him more access. His lips greedily sucked on the base of my throat and couldn't help but let out cry of pleasure..._

"Mary?"

Thin little fingers tickled my arm, which raised to pry them off. I groaned when they prodded me again.

"Mary, please wake up."

I let forth a grunt as soon as my eyes fluttered open. A great wave of dismay washed over me when I realized that it was just a dream. A very _good_ dream.

"Mary, we have to talk!"

I turned around and glared at my little sister, whose large grayish-violet eyes glared at me in return. She was standing right beside my bed, in her favorite Ariel pajamas with her little hands on her hips.

"This has to stop!" Cindy hissed at me, stomping her tiny foot to declare her point. "I can't take it anymore!"

"Cynthia, what the hell are you talking about?" I asked her, arching my back as my arms stretched above my head. A loud yawn emitted from me when I looked over at my alarm clock, but my vision was still blurred with sleep. "What time is it?"

"It's the middle of the night, Mary Alice." she answered, watching me rub the sleep from my eyes.

"Why the hell are you here? Go back to bed, Cindy!" I snapped at her.

Like any stubborn little girl, Cynthia refused to leave and stayed there, shaking her head as her piercing large eyes shot daggers at me.

"Not after we settle this!"

"Settle what?" I huffed.

"I can't sleep, Mary!" snapped Cynthia, her little hands yanking her long dark hair in aggravation. "You keep everybody up!"

Ignoring my protests, my baby sister climbed into my bed. Sighing in annoyance, I scooted over a little to give her some space. I constantly asked mom why I couldn't be an only child so I wouldn't have to put up with shit such as _this_.

"Why are you having bad dreams, Mary?" she asked, worry inflicting in the violet depths of her eyes as she curled beside me. "Are they so bad that you keep screaming in your sleep?"

I didn't answer her. It's none of her damn business. She's only eight, just far too young to understand the horrible meaning of rape.

"Mommy and I worry about you a lot, you know."

I still didn't answer.

"Please tell me." I nearly flinched when her tiny fingers brushed a stray hair away from my cheek. "I promise I won't tell."

"I'd rather not tell you, Cindy." I whispered to her.

"Why not?" she whined, cuddling closer to me. "I'm great at keeping secrets! I forget them!"

"You're too young." I simply told her. Ignoring her childish complaints, I turned on my other side where I could see the wall instead of her.

"Is it about a boy?" she chirped, wrapping her little arms around my waist. "Can you tell me? Please?"

"Cindy, just go back to your room." I spat, throwing her arm off of me. I heard her complain some more and I kept ignoring her.

"I won't leave unless you tell me what's been making you cry!"

"No." I croaked, my eyes stinging as horrible events from my past tormented my head. "Just leave."

"Mary, you know I love you, right?" she asked me, wrapping her little arm around me without hesitation. "And I would do anything to protect you?"

Fresh tears trickled down to my nose as my lips formed a small smile. I can't believe how adorably innocent my baby sister is, and so clueless.

"I know you love me, Cindy, and I love you." I paused so I could turn around to her again. She smiled widely at me, her large eyes twinkling with sincerity. I hugged her tightly to me and felt my heart warming a bit when she returned the sisterly embrace. Softly kissing the top of her head, I whispered, "And it's me that's supposed to protect you."

"But you're the one that's sad all the time!" she whined, tilting her head up to look at me. "Always crying and making weird cat noises in your sleep!"

"Shh!" I hissed at her covering her small mouth with one hand. "Mommy is sleep-wait, what do you mean _cat_ noises?"

Cynthia uncovered her mouth and giggled at my sudden confusion.

"You were meowing when I came in." she tittered, her eyes alight with amusement. "You sounded like this!"

I glowered at her when she began making kitten-like mewls while tossing and turning under the covers.

"Okay, okay! Enough!" I shouted, deeply annoyed by her silly demonstrations. Cindy ignored me, a mischievous smirk playing on her small pink lips.

"And then you started saying something things like "Oh, Jazz!" or something like that."

There was nothing to say or do as I kept watching my baby sister imitate me. The blood rushed to my face and I felt the rest of my body go numb.

"Cindy." I croaked, my heart racing when I thought about the _dream_. "Please go to your room."

"What's a Jazz, Mary?" she gazed up at me, curiosity radiating from her. "Is that what's been hurting you?"

"N-no." I answered, averting my shameful eyes from hers. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it."

"If it's nothing then why are you crying about it?"

_Because that's not what I've been crying about._

"Cynthia, please leave."

"Fine." she huffed, crawling out of my bed. "But if another sound comes out of you, I'm telling mommy!"

I rolled my eyes as soon as she finally left me alone. "That was a close one."

* * *

Warm droplets of water ran down my back as my fingers massaged my scalp with strawberry scented shampoo. The sweet scent of strawberries brought a smile to my face when Jasper's beautiful face popped into my head.

I giggled to myself, almost blushing at what could have happened yesterday between us, until Bella disturbed us. Honestly, there was something about the way he treated...touched me that I couldn't keep my mind off of him. It's very weird. I have never felt such an attraction to any boy. Ever since the rape, I vowed never to be touched by any other man, ever again, in fear of getting hurt.

When I first hit puberty, my mother informed me that sex is a wonderful thing between a man and a woman. But how could it be... if it hurts so fucking much? I remember the pain of_ it all_ and still feel _it_ to this day.

_I was left crying on the floor while the beast stood over me, adjusting the front of his filthy faded jeans as he sneered at the scarlet fluid dripping between my closed legs._

"Shit!" I shuddered, blocking that horrible memory with thoughts of Jasper, and I immediately felt better.

My head tilted back and I sighed happily when the warm water rinsed the shampoo out of my hair. _"That feels nice..."_ My teeth scraped the sensitive flesh of my bottom lip as I imagined Jasper's strong, yet careful hands lathering my wet, nude body with soap. My small breasts were in desperate _need_ of his loving touch.

I moaned at the dampness burning between my legs as I thought about his warm, soft lips working on my neck. _"My god that was great..."_ My hands wandered up my tummy, wishing the rough pads of his fingers marveling at the smooth texture of my pale skin. _"He's done it before."_ I smiled, remembering him caressing me under the bottom of my shirt.

My cheeks grew hotter when my trembling hands reached my small breasts, which were heaving with anticipation. A soft whimper uttered from my lips when my nipples suddenly perked beneath my palms.

"Oh!" I gasped, lightly pinching them, triggering more warmth and moisture deep inside _me_.

"Mary Alice! Get out of there!" shouted my mother's voice outside the door, startling me until I slipped and fell on my naked ass. "Water is expensive these days! And you don't have a job! Get out!"

"I-uh-okay!" I stuttered, too embarrassed to do anything after what I've just done. "I'll be out in a minute!"

I winced at how breathless my voice had sounded and prayed that my mother did not notice.

"Hurry up! There's someone on the phone for you!" My brows pulled together when I took note of her enthusiasm.

"Is it Bella?" I asked her, wrapping a towel around my nude body as soon as I step out of the slippery shower. I rubbed my poor bum, and sucked my teeth in at it's soreness.

"Nope." she giggled. "It's a boy, deary."

"Boy?" I stupidly said. "Jacob?"

"Not Jacob." she giggled more.

"Who then?" I snarled, marching towards the door. By the time I opened the door, my mother thrust the black wireless phone into my wet hands and took off without answering me. I looked down at the phone with a frown.

The only boy I had ever given my number is to Jacob, in case he needed help with homework during high school. If neither Bella or Jake called me, then who did?

_"There's only one way to find out."_ I thought, slowly bringing the phone up to my ear.

"Hello?" I said, clutching my towel to my naked chest as I trotted over to my closet.

"Hello, darlin'!"

My heart stopped beating and my cheeks felt like they were going to catch fire. My mouth was open but nothing seems to be getting out.

"I've missed you. Did you miss me?" Jasper said, I could almost hear that charming smile spreading across his beautiful face.

"How-how did you get my number?" I timidly asked, wondering who on Earth gave it to him without my permission.

"Bella left her phone here." he simply answered. "So I took the liberty to look for you. I've been thinking about you a lot. Have you been thinking me of me?"

I blushed, thinking back on what I've been doing in the shower. Shit, what is wrong with me?

"You have been thinking of me." he chuckled. "That's why you're so quiet."

"Ummm...no?" I said, blushing harder than ever. I kind of smiled when I heard his hearty chuckle. He sounded so hot on the phone. Stop it, Alice!

"Your mother tells me you were in the shower." he laughed, bringing me back down to Earth. "Looks like someone likes to hog all the water."

"Shut up." I snarled at him, clutching the front of the towel to my chest. "Why are you calling me anyways? What do you want?"

"I told ya before." he said. I nearly melted at that sexy Southern drawl. "I've missed ya. Darlin', I have to see you again."

"You saw me yesterday." I pointed out. "Wasn't that enough for you?"

"From what had happened..." he paused and I heard something rustling in the background."It was not enough for me."

Jasper and I stayed silent when my baby sister's childish giggles and my mother's scornful hisses broke into our private conversation.

"Mary Alice, what's going on?" my mother piped up from another house phone. "Cynthia, stop it or you'll receive a beating!"

"Yea, Mary Alice! What's going on?" Cynthia tittered, obviously immitating our mother on a third phone.

"Mom!" I shrieked, my face flushed in utter humiliation. "What are you doing? Get off the phone!"

"Not after you tell me what's going on!" she demanded. "What wasn't enough?"

"What's going on?" pestered my little sister.

"Cynthia, I swear I'm going ki-"

"Hi, Mrs. Brandon." greeted Jasper, somehow making me laugh a little. "I was wondering if you'd allow Alice to accompany me to the movies today. Would that be okay?"

My eyes widened in disbelief as my heart hammered in my chest. I nearly dropped my towel and the phone. This was very unexpected.

"I wanna go!"

"Cindy, get of the phone that's rude!" snarled my mom. "What's your name again, young man?"

"Jasper Hale, ma'am." answered the Southern Gentleman.

From my mother's bashful giggles, I could tell he charmed her as much as he had charmed me. I now fear the worst is yet to come.

* * *

Me and Jasper stood side by side in a short line just to buy our movie tickets. I honestly thought he was annoyed by my peevish complaints all the while we waited here.

"Why did you have to ask my mom?" I grumbled, glaring up at Jasper, who seemed to be very happy to have me with him. He smiled down at me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and held me tightly to his side so I wouldn't leave him.

"Because I knew you'd say no." he grinned at my aggravated expression. I then sighed, turning my head to examine the theater. I was kind of relieved it was not packed as I thought it would be. Well, what did I expect from boring old Port Angeles?

"What are you in the mood to watch, darlin'." asked Jasper, forcing me to look at back at him.

"Nothing." I answered, quite glumly. "I want to go home."

"Well that's too bad." he chuckled, "You're already here."

I glared at him and wanted to tell him off but we were next in line. I muttered angry words to myself as Jasper walked us to over to the front of the ticket stand. The sandy-haired boy behind the stand looked so familiar when he smirked evilly at me, but I didn't bother to figure him out. Fuck him.

"Two tickets for Piranha 3D please." ordered Jasper very politely as he unwrapped his arm around me so he could search for his wallet.

"You have to be at least eighteen or older to watch that, sorry." the boy sneered, his pale blue eyes staring right at me.

_"Asshole." _my mind spat as I glared at him in return. My face reddened with either anger or embarrassment. _"Who the hell does he think he is?"_

"What happened?" said Jasper, who was completely lost as he pulled out a twenty from his worn out leather wallet. "Who's not eighteen?"

My small hands balled into fists at my sides when the jerk continued to smirk at me. _"Who the hell is he?"_ Searching deep into his pale blue eyes, I found the familiar malice in their lifeless depths. I took in the freckles sprawling all over the ridge of his nose and also the honey highlights of his straw-like blond hair.

I almost gasped in surprise when that disgusting smirk of his widened, revealing a set of off-white teeth. Curiously, I trailed away from his face to the small rectangular name-tag in the front of his forest green shirt. _Mike._

_"No wonder." _

Pure hatred bubbled in the pit of my stomach when my mind raced back to the third grade, where the all the bullying began. Mike Newton was the first to ever start shit with me only because I was the shortest and the quietest. In each passing grade, the asshole never ceased his hurtful name calling, which allowed the new-comer Jessica Stanley to join in the bullying just so she could fit in.

Why the hell is he pulling this shit on me now? The bastard knows I fucking graduated with him!

"I need to see a valid I.D before I sell you the tickets." he slurred, that wise ass smirk provoking me to slap it off his ugly face.

Now it was my turn to smirk when Jasper's jaw clenched as he gave Mike a hard look. I honestly hoped Jasper would break through that glass, grab Mike by the collar, and beat him to a bloody pulp. But unfortunately...gruesome wishes like that were too impossible to come true.

"Do we look like we're ten years-old to you, sir?" Jasper questioned in a threatening tone, his arm wrapping around me again. The bastard shook his head as a fake look of innocence dawned on his face. "Then give us the damn tickets, please."

"Sorry, but I still need to see some proof." Mike stubbornly said, jerking his head over at me. "From her."

I felt Jasper stiffen next to me and then shivered at the loss of his comforting arm when he searched his pockets again for his leather wallet.

"Here." gruffed Jasper, thrusting his identification card and his twenty through the small opening in the glass. "That should cover the both of us. Now give me the damn tickets tickets before we have a problem, boy."

I watched in amazement as Mike handed my Jasper... I mean... Jasper his change and then two blue tickets without the use of unfriendly humor. That was mostly because of how murderously hard Jasper was staring at him.

"Thank you." snarled Jasper, giving Mike one last stern look before steering us away from the stand.

I was so overjoyed by what happened that I was practically dancing in the inside. As we continued walking, I thought about doing something that was so childish but would make me feel so much better than I already am. Making sure Jasper wasn't looking, I quickly turned my head around and stuck my tongue out at the douchebag. I wasn't entirely sure what his reacton was because I quickly faced forward to avoid another one of his treacherous glares. What I've done was kind of childish, but it did make me feel so much better!

"Happy now, are we?"

Jasper's Southern drawl cut into my thoughts when we finally made it to our dark destination. I only shrugged, my cheeks blushing slightly at the adoring look he gave me.

"You're beautiful when you're happy, Alice." he complimented me, his eyes twinkling in the darkness as his large hand held mine. "Especially since you're with me."

_"Yeah right!"_

I rolled my eyes, failing to hide the smile that threatened my lips.

"Where do you want to sit, darlin'?" he asked, examining the long rows of chairs ahead of us.

"Anywhere is fine." I replied, not really caring much as mind celebrated the marvelous defeat of Mike Newton.

"Is here okay?" Jasper pointed at the very last row, which was almost close to the exit.

"It's fine." I repeated, the feeling of victory being replaced by a strange wave of discomfort.

"You want anything? Popcorn, soda, candy?" he suggested as we took our seats.

I shook my head, pulling my knees up to my chest.

"Yes, you do." he interjected. "I'll be right back."

While he was away, I kept myself busy watching other people come in. It made me feel more uncomfortable when I realized that most of these people were couples; there was an interracial couple in the third row, two seats behind them, sat a pretty blonde and her burly boyfriend, and in front of me sat two men... I didn't want to focus on them because I thought it would be rude.

"Miss me?"

I almost jumped out of my seat when something cold and wet touched the back of my neck.

"Of course you did!" snickered Jasper, passing me a large cherry pepsi, a large bucket of popcorn, and a small blue box of nestle's crunch.

"I hate popcorn." I muttered, very angry at him for scaring the crap out of me.

"Fine, more for me." he grinned once he sat down next to me. I placed the cherry pepsi on the armrest between us and handed him the bucket of popcorn, but remained with the crunch box.

"Alice, I just realized something."

I raised my brows at him, signaling him that he had my full attention.

"Why is it when we go out, people are always mean to us?" he asked, his facial expression serious as he watched me worry my bottom lip. "It's very aggravating."

"I dunno." I lied, averting from his earnest blue eyes to the large screen, which began to show previews of future films. "They're idiots."

Jasper chuckled next to me, his hand digging into the large bucket of popcorn. "Maybe they can't stand how awesome we are."

I giggled, rolling my eyes as I took a sip of the cherry flavored refreshment. Careful not to startle me again, his arm slowly encircled my shoulders and without thinking, I leaned into him. Shivers ran down my spine when his hand rubbed little circles on my arm.

Soon enough, the previews suddenly stopped and the whole theater started to get darker as the screen got brighter. The eerie music sounding off in the beginning of the film made my blood freeze.

"Jasper?" I whispered, getting a bad vibe about this movie. "What are we watching again?"

"Piranha 3D, but we're watching it without the glasses." he answered, his other hand grabbing a fistful of popcorn.

"Piranhas?" I squeaked, my eyes widening in horror as I thought about the dangers those deadly creatures inflicted. "They eat meat, right?"

"Yep, loads of it." he laughed quietly, squeezing my shoulder. "These you're about to see are prehistoric piranhas. They're worse than the ones today."

"Do they exist?" I asked, the tiny hairs on my arms standing.

"They're mostly found in the rivers of South America...I think."

"The prehistoric ones?"

"No, silly." he chuckled, holding me tightly to his side in reassurance. "Those have been dead for a very, very long time."

"Is this a horror movie?"

"Kind off."

I glared at him and he only grinned.

"Just sit back and enjoy, darlin."

Jutting my lip out into a pout, I turned back to the screen without another word.

~*~*~* A couple minutes later *~*~*~

"I wanna go home!" I cried, watching as some boy's head got crushed between two boats. "This is scary!"

Jasper only laughed and pulled me onto his lap.

"It's just a movie, Alice." he reassured me while some girl's hair got caught in a boat's motor.

I squeaked in fright when her hair ripped off her scalp along with some skin. I quickly looked away and unzipped the front of Jasper's black sweater to hide myself in it. My arms wrapped themselves around his torso as if it would protect me from the blood and gore splattering in the film.

"Sweetheart, it's not real." he chuckled, his hands soothing my trembling form. "Look, it's alright now. They're safely coming out of the water."

"Really?" I squeaked, curiously peeking above the collar. The college students were coming out of the lake, but they were struggling. I quickly pressed my face to Jasper's well-defined chest after I seeing a severely injured girl accidentally snapping in half by the two men carrying her out of the water. "Oh my god! Ew!"

"Gotcha." Jasper whispered, hugging me tightly. "Made you look."

Tilting my head up, I gave him one of my most dirtiest looks of all time. Instead of receiving the usual "What the fuck" facial expression, I was rewarded with a million dollar smile. I ducked, when he was about to lower his lips on mine. I smiled to myself after hearing him sigh in remorse.

_"Hehehe!"_ I mused. _"That's for tricking me."_

Throughout the rest of the movie, I ended up falling asleep on his lap with both his strong arms around me. I was so close on biting his head off when he shook me awake.

"Five more minutes!" I mumbled, cuddling more into him.

_He was so warm and cuddly! I didn't want to get up!_

"Want me to carry you?"

He laughed as soon as I jumped off his lap, almost stumbling but he caught me before I could hit the solid ground.

"Careful." he cautioned, kissing the side of my head as his hands tried to work their way up the hem of my fitted shirt. Jasper laughed more once he examined the soft blush creeping on my cheeks. I told him to shut his mouth while prying his hands away from me. "What? You're just so cute."

"Didn't I tell you to be quiet?" I reminded him, earning a puppy pout from him. Shaking my head, I started to giggle. "You're terrible."

"And you're a tease." he winked at me, pulling me back into his arms. My eyes nearly fluttered as titillating shivers ran down my back when his lips hovered over my ear. His hold on me grew firm, pressing me more to him until I could no longer feel myself stand on my own. "But I'm not complaining."

All that could be heard was the hard pounding of my heart beneath my heaving breasts as his warm breath tickled a tender spot below my ear.

"The movie is over and we're the ones here." he whispered, and I nearly whimpered when his hands kneaded the small of my back. "We should go."

"O-okay." I stammered, my face resembling a ripe tomato as we slowly pulled away. Suddenly, it was too hot to move and I started to get dizzy.

"Careful." Jasper repeated, holding my hand while escorting me to the exit.

* * *

**Sooo? Okay! I was actually excited about this chappie! It's been on my mind since the summer. I wanted to make this chapter a little funny just to get your minds of the sad parts. Okay? Oh! And I loved/hated Piranha 3D! Some scenes were kinda sexy... but all those boobs, blood, and gore scared the shit out of me! Especially the girl being pulled in half...by accident. And Jessica has the prettiest eyes I've ever seen lol. **

**I gotta go for now! Remember that I'll be posting "Let Me In" 43rd next Friday! Okay? And...one more thing before you guys get angry at me... I have a real treat for you all in the 12th chappie!**

**WHOO!**

**Yeah, I'm happy.**


	12. Unexpected part 2

**Hiiiiiiii! Lol! Guess what guys? We finally figured the perfect spot for the wedding! Henry's grandmother offered her beautiful backyard to us and we gladly accepted! Now we have to worry about the theme, the bridesmaid dresses, and the perfect cake. Damn it.**

**This chappie should have been in the 11th but I was too lazy to add it. So here it goes!**

* * *

**Chapter 12: Unexpected part 2**

I sighed in relief, resting my head back on the seat as the fresh breeze from Jasper's car window caressed my face. I couldn't wait to go home.

"What did you think of the movie?" Jasper asked, breaking the beautiful silence between us.

"I didn't like it." I admitted, shuddering at some of its horrific scenes. "Too scary."

Jasper laughed at me as usual and added "You call that scary? That was crap compared to Snakes on a Plane, which was also crap."

"I wouldn't know." I grumbled, staring out the window at the familiar houses passing by. "What's it about?"

"Snakes on a plane." he smirked.

"You're an ass." I muttered, rolling my eyes at him as he laughed to himself.

"I wish you wouldn't insult me like that." he chuckled. I moved my leg just in time his hand tried to touch it. "It hurts my feelings."

"Oh please." I retorted, staring out of the window. "Just take me home. I don't know why you made me watch that movie in the first place."

"Alright," he sighed sadly, now parking in front of my house, "if that's how you feel then...okay."

The locks popped up from the doors, and I happily to moved to leave.

"Alice..."

I tensed when I felt his calloused hands wrapping around my arm, stopping me from getting out of his car. I let forth an exasperated sigh as I turned to look at him.

"What?" I snarled, and then felt sorry for the way I spoke to him. He looks so vulnerable right now.

"Can I at least take you somewhere else?" he asked me, his blue eyes pleading as his tongue licked his lips. I stared at them, wishing it were my tongue that licked him... oh great.

"You already did." I grumbled. "And I would love to be home right now..."

"I promise you'll have fun this time." He pulled me back on the seat.

"No, Jasper-"

"Please, Alice." he begged, taking my hands in his. "Please..." he raised them to his lips and my heart nearly jumped up my throat when he began to kiss them. "Please, please, please, please, please-"

"Fine!" I snapped, yanking my hands away from him. Annoyed, I thrashed back against my seat and crossed my arms. "You're so aggravating!"

"That's the spirit!" exclaimed the annoying Jasper Hale, grinning from ear to ear as he drove me away from my house.

* * *

"Alice, shoot it!"

"I can't do it!" I whined, my index fingers pressing hard on the trigger while pointing the gun at the game screen. "I'm gonna die!"

"Just relax!" he laughed, massaging my shoulders as he stood behind me. "It's only a game! Oh shit, he's going to eat you! Pull the trigger!"

"You do it!" I shrieked, trembling in fear when the zombie waved it's disgusting arms. "I can't do it!"

Despite the monster limping in the screen, I focused on Jasper's strong hands helping mine handle the rusty toy gun properly.

"Put your fingers here." His hot breath sent shivers down my spine when he whispered in my ear. I leaned my head back against his chest, enjoying the comforting heat his body gave off from standing so close behind me.

"Here?" I sighed, sliding both my index fingers to the center of the trigger while loving the way his caressed the back of my trembling hands.

"Yeah." His voice was a little husky as the heat increased between us. "Right there."

A pleasing wet, warmth pooled between my inner thighs once his hands slowly went from the toy gun to my waist. My knees nearly buckled when they massaged me through my thin shirt.

"Now here's what _I want you_ to do." Jasper whispered, his strong hands encircling my small waist, practically clawing at my skin beneath the shirt. He held me to him, and I helped myself from moaning out loud when I felt something hard digging into my lower back. "I want you..." his lips pressed against my heated cheek and I closed my eyes, "to focus on the screen..." My eyes fluttered open to the screen, "hold the trigger down..." I arched my back as his hands slid up to my ribcage, "and release."

The zombie's pained roars startled me but Jasper's strong arms and kind words soothed me.

"You did it." he said to me and a bashful smile formed on my lips. "But you still have more than ten zombies to kill."

Well...that just ruined my good mood.

It was getting dark and people were starting leave the arcade. I wanted to be one of those people, but being with Jasper...there was no way I could ever leave. The stubborn jackass had me all to himself by playing mindless games, eating a bunch of junk food, and winning me little stuffed animals. The sad part is that I was actually having fun with this jackass; I found myself laughing at his petty jokes, smiling like an idiot whenever he complimented me, blushing every time he tries to touch or kiss me, and even fawning over him.

This guy is too much.

"Wanna take pictures, darlin'?" he asked me all of a sudden, after unnecessarily buying me a glow-in-the-dark Hello Kitty key chain.

"No." I replied, pulling on his hand to lead us both out of the arcade. "It's getting late."

Jasper laughed adorably, and instead of me leading him, he led me to a nearby photo booth.

"Just one picture, Alice." he pleaded, pushing the red curtain aside to let me in. "It won't hurt."

"But why?" I whined, stomping my foot like a spoiled brat.

"Just for the hell of it." he simply answered, giving me a mischievous smirk. "Come on, Alice. You'll love it! I promise you!"

"Ugh, fine!" I hissed and finally went in the fucking booth. Jasper happily trotted after me and I silently cursed him.

"Hey, what ever happened to that pretty smile you had on earlier?" he questioned, making me squeal in fright when he pulled me onto his lap.

"No clue." I grumbled, crossing my arms while avoiding looking at his handsome face.

"Aw, come on." he playfully shook me by my shoulders and I glowered at him in response. "Let's see that smile! I know it's there somewhere! Don't make me tickle you!"

My eyes widened in horror once his fingers attacked my sides.

"No! Stop it!" I shrieked, struggling. "That's annoying! Stop it!"

"I won't stop 'till I see that pretty smile!" he urged, still torturing me.

"Fine! Fine! Fine!" I laughed, finally stopping his hands. "See? A smile! Are you happy now?"

"Hmm..." said Jasper, examining my face like a detective would to a clue. "I don't know if I'm convinced."

He wiggled his eyebrows at me and I laughed at that.

"There it is!" he exclaimed, and I blushed when he kissed my cheek. "Now you're ready for a picture."

I rolled my eyes but still giggled as he inserted three dollars in the slot.

"Okay, remember to pose after each take." he told me, ruffling his curls while giving me one of his sexiest grins. I giggled more and then stared at our faces on the screen. I looked like shit next to him. Now I began to get nervous. I never liked taking pictures.

"Alice, are you okay?" he asked me. "Is something wrong?"

With the use of his fingers curling under my chin, Jasper gently turned my head to face him. My lips parted but no words came out once I lost myself deep in his kind blue eyes, which strangely darkened as they stared back at me. My heart began to race.

_"Should I be scared?"_ I asked myself, unable to move away as he slowly leaned forward while his thumb stroked my reddened cheek. My eyes suddenly closed as soon as his lips gently touched mine and I felt something...

A strange white light flashed when his tongue kneaded my bottom lip which quivered at the strange contact. My body shivered from head to toe when his tongue slipped between my lips. I sighed as it teased my tongue until it danced with his. He moaned into my mouth and wrapped his arms around my middle, pulling me closer to him.

"Hmm..." I uttered, my heart pounding hard beneath my small breasts as my legs closed together when his hand began to massage my thigh. I gasped once his teeth bit down on my lower lip, but relaxed when he ran his tongue over it.

_"Oh god..."_

"Darlin'..." Jasper sighed, softly pulling away. My eyes fluttered open to find him staring at me as if I'm the only thing worth to him. "Smile." he gave me a quick peck on my swelling lips. "This is the last picture."

And then there was a flash.

* * *

"We're here!" announced Jasper after parking in front of my house.

"Thank you." I told him, smiling shyly at him as I unbuckled my seatbelt. "I had fun."

"Don't forget your souvenir."

I nodded, reaching behind the passenger seat for the three stuffed animals and the Hello Kitty key chain. I thanked him as I opened the car door with my free hand. But before I could step out, a large hand grabbed my arm and pulled me back on the seat.

"I meant this, darlin'." Jasper drawled and then his lips landed on mine.

Being the nervous and self-conscious wreck that I am, I pulled away and my heart fluttered at the adorable look he had on his face. _"My god, he's so cute..." _He leaned in again and pecked my lips a few times before whispering his sweet "goodnights" in my ear. Shit, I wish I could stop the blood from pooling in my cheeks as well as the warmth pooling between my legs...

"Goodnight." I whispered back and finally stepped out of his car. I could feel his eyes on me as I climbed up the front steps of my house. Once I fumbled with the door, I slowly looked over my shoulder and smiled at him, letting him know that I'm safe.

Jasper grinned at me from his window before driving off into the distance.

"Mary! You're late!" squealed my little sister as soon as I closed the door behind me. Her eyes suddenly went wide when she saw the stuffed animals in my arms. "Where did you get those?"

I rolled my eyes at her, obviously understanding her.

"Fine, you can have them." I said to her and grinned when she skipped in front of me, her little arms open to collect my winnings.

"Thank you, Mary!" she chirped, twirling as I walked past her to the stairs. "I promise I won't tell mommy you came late! You're secret is safe with me!"

I shook my head at her childish nonsense.

"Home!" I exclaimed, throwing myself on my bed and inhaling the fresh scent of my clean pillow. Turning to lay on my back, my hands dove into my pockets to pull out the long strip of paper. A strange little smile crept on my lips as I examined each and every one of those little pictures. All of which provided honest evidence of my first kiss.

_Damn it, Jasper._

* * *

**Sorry it was short! But I'll make it up with the next chapter! I'm so excited for it!**


	13. You got me what?

**Hey everyone! I just got back from California! Lol, sorry it was my Spring Break and I no longer work as a waitress! I found something better! Hehe! I'm so happy! And next week, the next chappie of Let Me In will be posted and remember...it's almost over and you guys can throw in some ideas if you like. :) No pressure or anything! Lol**

**Okay...on to this!**

* * *

**Chapter 13: You got me a what?**

My lips still tingled from his sweet kiss as my body yearned to be back in his strong arms. _"He felt so nice..."_ I blushed, wrapping my own arms around me as I thought more about yesterday. _"And he smelled good too..."_ I giggled, remembering the fresh scent of his cologne tickling my nostrils.

Biting on my bottom lip, I unwrapped my arms around me and gently withdrew the long strip of paper from last night. My teeth sunk hard on the sensitive flesh of my lip as my dazed eyes examined the four images of me and the handsome Jasper Hale.

"Oh dear..." I sighed, my cheeks heating.

The first picture, I took note of the obvious fear inflicting from my wide eyes as his face neared mine, closing the gap little by little. I remember trembling tremendously and my desire to escape him...but from the way he held me, he never intended on letting me go.

My tongue licked across my bitten lip when my eyes flickered on to the second picture. A small gasp emitted from me just as his lips made contact with mine. I nearly melted as my lips quivered from his soft, wet caresses. Especially from his tongue ...

"Hmm..." I whimpered, a scorching heat pooling between my torn femininity.

The third picture really made my heart flutter; As his lips teased and coaxed my parting lips, his large, manly hands encouraged my face and body to come closer to him. There was something about his touches...something very sweet about them that made me feel so safe and so loved...as if I were a fragile little china doll that could automatically shatter to pieces. Unlike the monstrous hands that took advantage of me, Jasper's comforted me.

I could swear my eyes were stinging, but I refused to cry as I moved on to the last picture. A small smile formed on my bitten lips when his words echoed in my head.

_"Darlin'..." Jasper sighed, softly pulling away from me and my eyes fluttered open. "Smile." he gave me a quick peck and then added. "This is the last picture."_

"Smile." I giggled, shaking my head at the last picture where I was the only one staring at the camera as he stared at me. I giggled more viewing the blush coloring the pale skin of my cheeks as my bruised lips curled upward in a bashful smile from experiencing a first kiss. It thrilled me more that as I smiled at the camera, Jasper had his full attention on me with a smug grin plastered on his talented lips.

"My first kiss." I said to myself, making sure that it really happened. "My first kiss..."

"Mary!"

The door swung open and in skipped my little sister. I swore under my breath at the loss of respect for my privacy and tucked the pictures back under my pillow.

"What is it, Cindy?" I grumbled, smoothing the wrinkly sheets of my simple small bed.

"Phone." she answered, poking the small of my back with the black antenna of the wireless phone. I suddenly grew anxious at the thought of Jasper's beautiful Southern drawl serenading me. Finally facing Cynthia, I took the phone from her tiny hand and eagerly held it to my ear. Cynthia smiled at me before skipping out of my room.

"Hello?" I said, my heart hammering madly. My hopes were then dashed when Bella's voice answered.

_That deceiving bitch._

"Hey, sexy!" she chimed, and I let out an exasperated breath. "What? I thought you loved me? Oh? I see how it is! Fuck Bella, right? You ungrateful little bitch..."

I rolled my eyes as she kept on going with her pointless rants.

"If it weren't for me, your ass would have never met Jasper...and whatever good fuck you're going to have-"

"Bella!" I cut in, completely disgusted, "please! Really? Is that all you ever think about?"

"The fuck yes!" she exclaimed, and I giggled in response. "So, I was wondering..." she clicked her tongue a few times, "are you free today by any chance?"

"Umm why?" I raised my eyebrows in curiosity.

"Well...the gang and I will be going to La Push beach down at the rez. Wanna go?"

"La Push? And what gang are you talking about? I asked, worried that Bella joined a blood-thirsty crew of vandals.

"Edward, Rose, Em, Jacob, and your man."

My eyes went wide as excitement and dread coursed through me. "Jasper?"

"No, fucking Wolverine. Who else?" She added with sarcasm. "You're going? Fuck it! You're definitely going! I've already bought your swim suit! It's all settled! Yay!"

"Bella wait!" I shouted, panic replacing my excitement. "I didn't say anything...and hang on! You bought me a bathing suit? But you don't know my size?"

"Judging from your petite frame, Alice, a size small would be perfect for you. Duh."

I sighed in annoyance at her second tone of sarcasm. "Whatever, I'm not going."

"Oh, you're going and that's finally." she affirmed. "Now hurry up. I'm waiting outside your house."

"What!" I gasped, running to my window. "You're here? Already?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Opening the blinds, I spotted her red chevy parked patiently in front of my house. The tiny voice in my head swore when I saw the enchanting Bella Swan applying lip-gloss on her uneven, yet enticing pink lips as she stared at her rear-view mirror.

"I can see you, Alice."

I gasped again once her chocolate brown eyes snapped to mine. I ran away from my window, scared shit that she might do something extremely dangerous. Like shoot laser beams at me.

"Alice, just hurry up." I heard her say as I clutched the phone to my chest. "Take a shower, shave, pack a towel and some clothes."

"Bella, I don't wanna go..." I whined, walking over to my closet. "And I don't need to shave. I barely have hair on my legs."

"Lucky bitch..." she muttered in extreme jealousy. "Just hurry up and pack what you need. They're waiting for us."

"Fine." I growled and rolled my eyes when I heard her gleeful cheers.

* * *

"But it's too revealing!" I complained, swatting my best friend's helpful hands away from the black strings that were hanging loosely around my neck.

"Alice, it's perfect on you! Stop fussing and let me tie it!" shouted Bella, finally getting a hold of the black strings.

"Why would you even buy me this?" I whined, covering my lower body as she adjusted the strings to perfect bow on the back of my neck. "You know how I feel about bikinis, Bella."

"Fuck off." she scoffed, spinning me around to observe her work. "It's so hot on you! Rose is such a genius!"

"Rosalie was apart of this too?" I asked in disbelief.

"Mhm." she answered, frowning at the fluffy white towel hugging my waist. "Let's see the bottom now."

"No!" I shrieked when she yanked the towel away from me. I now stood half naked and my hands immediately flew over my chest to cover the not-so-awesome cleavage.

"Would you cut it out!" yelled Bella, pulling my hands away from chest. "When will you realize how gorgeous you are, Al?"

I shook my head as I retrieved the white towel and wrapped it around me. Bella muttered a curse and walked over to her bed.

"Okay, now that we're done here." she said while stuffing an extra towel in her large red bag. "We can finally hit the road."

I nodded, very aware that I upset her. I could imagine why she was angry with me. She was only trying to help me be comfortable in my own skin and I won't let her. She and Rosalie unnecessarily spent money on me and the least I could do was wear the damn bikini as a sign of gratitude instead of complaining about it like a spoiled brat. In truth... I just don't think that a person both physically and mentally damaged, deserves to be showered with glamorous materials. I don't deserve it. Any of it.

"Bella?" I squeaked, staring a my fingers, which nervously toyed with the hem of the towel still wrapped around my waist.

"Mhm?"

"I'm sorry I made you mad." I softly told her while daring to look her dead in the eyes. When staring deeply into those chocolate depths, I had the sudden urge to just throw myself in her thin arms and confess everything that _demon_ had done to me. _"Fuck, I'm such a mess..."_ I thought, feeling that uncomfortable sting in my eyes and nose.

"Alice?" said Bella, concern radiating from her as she stepped away from her bed to come near me. "What's wrong, honey?"

I shrugged, my lip quivering as my the tiny voice agreed that I should finally say something. But I can't. I just couldn't... what will she think of me? I fucking can't!

"I'm sorry, Bella, but..." I blurted out, averting my watery eyes from her curious ones, " I don't think I deserve this," my hands gestured the flimsy black bikini top covering my flat chest, "it's very nice but-"

"But what, Alice?" she snapped and I flinched, again feeling sorry that I've angered her twice in a row. "Shit, Alice! I don't know why you always do that to yourself!"

I bowed my head down as I raised the towel up to cover my chest. Two thin hands stopped mine and forced the towel off my body.

"Stop doing that! It's getting very annoying, Alice!"

I kept my mouth shut as Bella kept rambling.

"I thought we had this talk before! There's nothing wrong with you and yes you do deserve to be sexy!"

That word made me wince. There was nothing sexy about me.

"Look at you!" she laughed in delight as her brown eyes scanned my entire petite frame. "You're so beautiful! Fuck, I wish I had a giant mirror here to prove it to you!"

I blushed as the corners of my lips twitched upward. Bella mirrored my smile and then began to walk around me. I started to get a little self-conscious when I felt her gaze up and down my backside.

"That bikini looks so amazing on you." she commented and my blush deepened as my shoulders slumped over. "You have a nice little ass there, Miss Brandon." I tensed and she giggled. "Where has it been hiding all these years since I've met you?"

"Bella, please don't-"

She cut me off by smacking my rear and I let out a pitchy yelp.

"Nice and tight too!" she tittered, and walked around to face me again. I frowned at her, wondering how on Earth my best friend had gotten so filthy...

"You didn't have to spank me, Bells!" I shrieked, my cheeks as dark as blood.

"Why not?" she simply said, and with a sly smirk she added, "Edward loves it when I do it to him."

"Ugh." I groaned. Did not need to know that.

"You have such a cute little figure, Ali!" she gushed, still examining me. "Aww, your waist is like a tiny hourglass! How adorable!"

"Enough, Bells..."

"And your boobies look so good right now..."

"God! Bella, stop it! You're scaring me!" I shouted, moving back when her hands tried to make a grab at my small breasts.

"Can I at least touch?"

"No! Why?" I gasped in shock.

"Just to see if they're as firm as your ass." she answered, her face unashamed by her naughtiness.

"Let's just go, Bells." I hissed, walking away from her.

"If it makes you feel any better, you want to touch mine?" she asked me, and I rolled my eyes as I dressed up in my favorite jeans and plain white shirt.

"Alice?"

I looked up from my shoes to the friendly heart-shaped face of my best friend.

"I just want you to have fun today, okay?" she said, giving me an encouraging smile. I only nodded and tried to return the kind gesture. "What ever it is that's bothering you," the smile wiped off my face, "please don't let it ruin your fun."

I nodded again, knowing damn well that _he_ ruined everything for me... for eight fucking years.

"Enjoy yourself." she repeated, smiling widely at me as she retrieved her bag from her bed. "Let's go now." She then threw me a cheeky grin over her shoulder. "Jasper can't wait to _see_ you, you little vixen."

Fuck! I completely forgot about him! All the while I followed Bella out of her house, I tried my hardest not to freak out about letting him and everyone else see me in my revealing bikini. I knew I wasn't ready for that shit to happen...

_"Shit, I'm scared..."_

* * *

**Bella's a freak and I love her that way. Lol. Becca has had a bad influence on her. So in the next chappie, it's going to be cute and happy...and not to mention a little sexy *wink-wink* Hehe! I honestly had so much fun with Bella in this one. She's such a perv!**

**Okay, I'm a little jet-lagged so I'm gonna hit the sack. Bye bye :D **


	14. Should this be right?

**Hey everyone! How's everything? I honestly don't have much to say but I'll only tell you all this; The 45th chappie of Let me in will be posted on either Sunday or Monday. Okay? It just needs a little more things.**

* * *

**Chapter 14: Should this be right?**

By the time we arrived at La Push, Bella had been getting on my last nerves. As soon as she parked her chevy, she immediately jumped out of it and stripped down to a skimpy midnight blue bikini. When she was done adjusting herself to complete perfection, Bella trotted over to the other side of her truck, opened the door, and hastily pulled me out.

"Hey!" I shouted when my shirt deliberately flew over my head. Her hands then went to the front button of my jeans and that's when I put a stop to it."What the hell, Bells?"

''Come on, Al!" she laughed when I slapped her hands away. "We're here! Take all that crap off!"

"No." I huffed, bending over to pick up my plain white shirt from the ground. I groaned when I saw that it was already covered in dirt. Fuck.

"You have no choice."said Bella, smirking as I wrapped my arms around my half-naked body.

"I hate you." I muttered while undoing the button followed by the zipper. My self-esteem lowered when I realized that in a matter of seconds, I will be no match against Bella or Rosalie. Bella looks amazing in her swimsuit, and I'm guessing Rose will look even better. I look like shit compared to those girls.

"Let's go, Al!" she thrilled, running to the beach with her huge red bag. I frowned just watching her perfect round ass trotting along the damp sand.

"Damn." I swore when I saw who she was running to. Fucking Edward Cullen.

The moment he opened his arms, Bella lunged herself in them. I would have mastered another eye-roll, but instead they were distracted by a handsome blond man right behind the "happy" couple.

"Shit."

My arms crossed my chest to prevent anyone from seeing the boyish parts of my body. _"Oh God, please get me out of here!"_ I mentally prayed, now regretting that I've taken off my jeans.

My cheeks caught fire when Bella turned away from her boyfriend to wave at me, causing everyone, including Jasper, to look at me as well.

"Fuck, I hate you, Bells!" I hissed through my gritted teeth. My hands gripped at my upper arm as my legs closed tightly together. I wanted nothing more than to run from away from here, and bury myself into the deepest hole that no one would ever dare discover.

"Alice!" yelled Bella, still waving at me. "Get over here!"

I shook my head as I took a step back. There's no way in hell I would let them see me like this. They're going to make fun of me. I just know it!

"Get the hell over here!" she yelled again. Before I could shake my head again, Rose, Emmett, Jake, Edward, and even Jasper, began to call me.

"Ugh." I groaned. "I'm staying right here."

I stomped my foot to declare my point, however, they still kept calling me to join them. A low growl revved inside my throat while my hands couldn't wait to strangle Bella. I can't believe she got me into this mess. Is she really trying to humiliate me? Judging by how revealing my bathing suit is...seems like she's trying to.

My heart began to pound very hard once I saw Jasper running in my direction. _"Oh god..."_ I thought, my palms becoming sweaty as I held myself tighter. _"Go away..." _My mouth opened and closed as I watched him flaunt those taut gorgeous muscles rippling from his arms, chest, abdomen, and legs. Well, he wasn't really that muscular but he was lean just like one of those male swimsuit models you see in magazines. And his golden curls were dark and flat from moisture, but it was so sexy. I wanted to run my fingers in them.

I didn't know I was ogling at his appetizing body until he finally stood in front of me.

"Hey, darlin'." he drawled, his smile making me melt as well as his god-like physique. My tongue licked across my lip when I noticed the small beads of water trickling down his chiseled chest and strong biceps.

_"Oh wow..."_

The gentle feel of his lips on mine brought me back down to Earth as well as the pleasant shivers running down my spine. He softly pulled away and I was upset he did.

"I would've gotten you myself." Jasper said as his cold wet hands cooled the heated fair skin of my frail shoulders. I tried my best not to fall over. "But I had to make sure everything is perfect for us."

I could feel his eyes roaming over my half-naked body. I trembled, slightly, realzing how revealing my bikini was. _"Damn it, Bells..."_ Never in my life have I ever felt so exposed. How fucking embarrassing was this?

"Come, darlin'." his sweet voice broke through my disturbed thoughts and I felt his hand tugging on my wrist. "Lets not keep everyone waiting."

He flashed me another million-dollar smile, and I almost swooned when I noticed an adorable dimple on his right cheek. My own lips mirrored his as he slowly got me to walk with him.

Time was passing and I still wasn't comfortable. Bella kept getting on my last nerves and practically began forcing me to get in the water. I kept telling her no, but does she listen? No...the bitch won stop pestering me. I finally told her off and right after that, she ordered Emmett and Jacob to hurl me into the icy, salt water.

"I said no!" I shrieked when Emmett grabbed me by my arms whilst Jake grabbed my legs. "Please put me down!"

It was terrifying having men touch me like this. It wasn't normal for me, especially since that horrible experience back then...

"Emmett, leave her alone!" shouted Rose, who looked incredibly breath-taking in a stylish flower-print bikini. "That's not funny!"

"Throw her in!" demanded Bella, splashing a gush of water at me.

I squealed at its freezing temperature and thrashed awkwardly for my freedom. Emmett and Jacob laughed along with Bells and then began to swing me from side to side towards the threatening waves. Each time the cold salty liquid touched my skin, the more scared I got. I suddenly felt the urge to cry from their cruelty.

"Give her to me, Em."

I stopped squirming when I heard that beautiful Southern accent. _"Please help me..."_ my wide frightened eyes pleaded with his compassionate blue ones when he made his way to us. He was next to Emmett, his eyes never leaving my scared face as he placed one cold hand on my waist. From then on, I knew damn well I could never resist his touches.

"I'll take it from here." he told the two idiots, who still held me captive. "Come here, darlin'."

In an instant, the four sets of hands let go of me as soon as Jasper's gathered me against his broad and chiseled chest. I shivered again, only this time marveling at how wet and warm his flesh felt on mine.

"Umm..." I uttered, my breath hitching when one of his hands settled right under my bum as the other moved to the small of my back.

"Swimming sounds real good about now, don't you think so?" he asked me, the hand under my ass sliding behind my thigh. He held me closer to his body as he slowly walked us in deeper into the water. I shuddered at the cool feel of the water engulfing us as well as the warmth seeping from his soft lips as they brushed my ear.

"Doesn't this feel nice?" Jasper whispered, sending more shivers down my spine while curling my leg around his hip. Despite the freezing water, it was started to get warm. Very warm. Oh god, it's warm.

I shifted uncomfortably when my other leg curled around him without the use of his helping hand. This was no longer warm. This was _hot_. Oh god, it's _hot_.

"You okay there, sweetheart?" his breath tickled my ear and I let forth a shaky sigh in response. My hands gripped the taut muscles of his forearm when his hand slid from my thigh to my rear.

My eyes widened in horror. _"Oh my god!"_ I felt the bile rise to my throat. _"What is he doing?"_ My body started to tremble. _"I need to leave..."_

But being relentless as he is, Jasper didn't let me. He sensed my discomfort and pulled away a little so his dreamy blue eyes could gaze longingly into my fearful grayish ones. In a matter of seconds, he had me in a daze that practically made me forget why I was so scared.

"You're so beautiful, Alice..." he said to me, his voice soft and mysteriously husky for some odd reason.

My tongue slowly licked across my bottom lip as I kept my curious eyes on his, which provoked me with its lush texture and its divine sweetness.

_"Please kiss me..."_

As if he read my mind, Jasper's head bowed until our foreheads gently touched. I trembled in impatience, feeling his hot mouth hovering above my parting lips. My fingers dug into the hard sun-kissed skin of his arm when the large hand on the small of my back held me even closer. _"Oh dear god...kiss me now..."_ His wet. golden curls tickled my flaming cheeks as his lips gradually moved a little closer to mine.

_"Do it..."_

"Any day now, fuckers!"

The booming sound of Emmett's voice caused me to immidiately let go of Jasper, but his arms kept me from going anywhere. It was obvious that Jasper was glaring right at the intrusive giant, whose face held traces of false innocence.

"I'm just messing with you." he smirked, his childish dimples mocking the hell out of Jasper and me. "So are you two..." his buff shoulders shrugged as his smirk grew more mischievous. "Ummm...are you?"

"Are you what?" questioned an annoyed Jasper Hale, his hold becoming incredibly tighter than before. Discomfort was all I could feel right now as his hands stroked my bare skin under the cold water.

"You know what I mean." said Emmett, cocking an eyebrow at us while raising his big hands in front of him. My eyes widened and my face caught fire when his thick long finger went in and out of the small circle he created with his index and thumb.

"Is that all you really think about, Em? Seriously?" Jasper asked, also disgusted and embarassed.

Emmett only shrugged again. "Pretty much...yeah. So are you?"

I scowled at him. Clearly, he is the main reason why Bella is the way she is now. And here I thought Edward was responsible when the culprit was this giant all along. Talk about bad influences...

"Cut it out, man. Its not funny." Jasper told him as he moved us away from Emmett. I gasped and trembled uncontrollably as the freezing water rose to my ribs.

Adding more to my discomfort, a wave of ocean water splashed the rest of my upper body just when Emmett dove under the water. I coughed as my hands rubbed the stinging liquid out of my eyes.

"Sorry about that." Jasper said to me, now cradling my face in his cold hands. My eyes blinked a couple of times before opening completely. "Are you okay, darlin?"

I smiled shyly, feeling my cheeks tinge as his fingers raked through my now wet hair. A gentle breeze came out of nowhere and I shivered when it brushed past my wet skin.

"You'll get a lot warmer once you dunk your head." he informed me, his hands going back to where they held me.

"No, thank you." I muttered, averting from his gaze. A frown dawned on my lips when I saw Emmett flip Rosalie off her floaty. "I'm gonna go back..."

"Aw, come on now." pleaded Jasper, pouting adorably at me. I fought back another smile, knowing that I couldn't resist it.

Things were going great with Jasper and me; I was no longer cold and I willingly dove into the foamy waves along with Jasper. Honestly, I was having so much fun despite being completely half-naked with a boy. That didn't really matter...He made me feel so different.

I squealed happily when his strong arms wrapped around my waist and hauled us into an upcoming wave. I made sure I held my breath though. Yeah...everything was going very well until something pinched my ass. It hurt!

"Piranha!" I screamed, jumping onto Jasper's bare back. "It's-it's a piranha! It bit me! We're gonna die!"

Jasper only laughed while Emmett quickly hurled an annoyed Rose over his shoulder and took off.

"Piranha!" I screamed again when I felt another painful pinch. It might sound like a big joke, but I was serious. Something sharp pierced through my skin and it fucking scared the shit out of me.

"What?" laughed Jasper, forcing me off his back with one arm, and pulling me to his front. A third pinch made me give off an ear-splitting scream while my arms wrapped around his neck in desperate need for survival. He laughed more as my legs went around his hips.

"Darlin', there's nothing in the water but us and a couple of rocks." he assured me as he soothed the small of my back.

"But something bit me." I whimpered, hugging him as though my life depended on it. He hugged me back and I naively thought he could fight off the ravenous creatures.

"Bit you?" he chuckled. "Where?"

I growled in frustration. There's no way I'll tell him where. No!

"Did it bite you here?"

Once his hand touched my ass, I immediately scampered away from him but hurried back to him when the pinching kept going.

"It did it again!" I cried. "Make it stop! I don't even taste that good-"

I stopped once I heard a familiar laugh.

"Oh my god!" I heard Bella exclaim as I clung onto Jasper for dear life. "You should've seen you face!"

I glared at her when I detached my face from Jasper's neck. _"That stupid bitch..."_ I felt my face burn with both anger and embarrassment as she laughed at me. Slowly, I tore my eyes from her to look up to Jasper. To add more to my embarrassment, he was also laughing. It didn't take long to get away from them. I completely hated them now.

This is the second most embarassing thing that's ever happened to me.

~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~

I was sitting on the warm ground behind Bella's truck, rocking myself back and forth as my chest heaved with the dire need to cry out my shame.

Something woolly and soft covered my shaking shoulders and I looked up to see Jasper sitting down beside me with a sincere smile on his lips. My fingers touched the woolly softness and discovered that it was a towel. His towel.

"Th-thank you." I stuttered, looking away from him, refusing to show him how badly I was hurting.

"You're welcome." he answered, scooting closer to me. "Don't be upset, sweetheart. She was only playing with you."

I ignored him. That wasn't really the case.

"Don't be upset."

My teeth worried my bottom lip when he took my hand in his and caressed it. I felt tears forming in my eyes.

"You laughed at me." I choked out through quivering lips.

He chuckled. I glared at him and took my hand away.

"It's mainly because of how incredibly adorable you are, that's all." he admitted to me, but I continued to glare at him. "I mean it." Before I could protest, he hauled me on his lap and placed chaste kisses all over my reddening face. "You're so fucking cute. Piranhas..." he chuckled more at the memory of me panicking from Bella's cruel joke.

"Leave me alone..." I grumbled, shoving at his toned chest to stop him from kissing me. "You were making fun of me too."

"Was not." he captured my hands with one of his as the other pressed me more against his well-defined chest. "I told you." he kissed the tip of my nose, which scrunched up. "You're so fucking adorable." I let forth a shaky sigh once his lips traveled down my neck. "That's why I was laughing..."

"O-okay." I stammered as his teeth grazed my skin.

"Better?" he asked, his lips working their way up my neck to the contours of my jaw.

"Mhmm..." I sighed, my eyes fluttering at the incredible feel of his light kisses on my heated skin.

"You taste so good..." he moaned as he dragged the blemished flesh below my earlobe between his teeth, which triggered a sudden warmth to further between my legs.

"Oh god..."

I bit my lip as the hot blush creeped on my cheeks at what just came out of my mouth as he teased and sucked at my sensitive flesh. _"This feels so..."_ My body began to squirm against him and his arms locked me in place.

"Fuck, Alice..." he growled and then captured my lips with his. Unlike the way he kissed my neck, his lips massaged mine ever so softly and so sweetly.

"Hmm..." I sighed when my lips parted to invite him in and gasped at the wet strokes his talented tongue inflicted on mine.

He moaned into my mouth and ran his fingers through my hair. I could feel myself getting hotter, hotter, and hotter as my nipples hardened beneath my bikini top. They were so pert and anxious for his hot mouth to claim them...

My eyes snapped wide open at that horrendous fantasy. _"Oh shit..."_ I quickly scrambled to my feet and I began to run my fingers through my choppy damp hair as my mind scorned me for such impure thoughts.

"Alice?" rasped Jasper, the depths of his blue eyes dark as they watched me take a step back from him. "What's wrong?"

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I was so ashamed of what I was doing. The indecent way I behaved with him was so disgusting. Those dirty, filthy thought running through my head as I let him fondle me fucking sickened me. I should be ashamed of myself...especially since what had happened to me eight years ago.

I paused, my eyes wide as I stared at Jasper, who still sat on the warm green grass with a slightly dazed look on his handsome face.

_"Oh god..."_ I thought, dread replacing the lust in the pit of my stomach._ "The beast was right..."_ I swallowed the bile rising to my throat. _"I'm a whore who does nothing but seduce men..."_

"Oh god!" I cried, my eyes watering as I took several steps back away from him. Jasper finally got to his feet, and stretched his hand out as if to reach for me.

"Alice, what is it?" he asked, his forehead creasing with worry. "Did I do something wrong?"

I didn't bother to answer him, so instead I spun on my heel and ran straight into the forest.

"Alice, wait!" I heard Jasper shout but I ignored him and kept running until my bare feet bled from the sharp rocks on the forest ground.

I felt so ashamed. So fucking ashamed with myself.

* * *

**Okay...I'm gonna go sleep! Goodnight or Good morning!**


	15. Almost

**Hey everyone! Not to worry! 46th chappie of Let Me In will be posted next week! Woot!**

* * *

**Chapter 15: Almost**...

_"Please don't find me, please don't find me..." I chanted in the dark cupboard, holding my knees to my chest. "Please don't find-"_

_I nearly gasped when something rustled outside the wooden doors of the cupboard. My heart was racing rapidly and my breath wouldn't dare escape past my lips to have me captured by the immoral beast._

_"Hide and seek again, Mary?" he sneered, his thudding footsteps nearing the cupboard. Through the slits of the doors, I could see the filth trailing behind his tattered brown boots. "This is getting very old, kiddo."_

_"Please leave me alone." I whispered, shutting eyes as if wishing him away. _

_"You're the little temptress aren't you, Mary?"_

_My hands balled into tiny fists as disgust rose to my throat. "How sick can this man be?" I wondered, my childish body shaking with the urge to scream and cry._

_"Just like your mother, you are." he laughed, and my heart thumped louder and quicker. "But you're so much better..."_

_I rested my head on my knees and hugged them closer to me, the fresh tears spilling from my tired gray eyes at the thought of him hurting my mommy the way he had hurt me._

_"You please me more than any of the harlots I've ever had."_

_I silently sobbed for myself and the other girls he'd harmed. I sobbed harder for my poor mommy. I don't want him to hurt her. If he does, it'll because of me. To make matters worse, she's having a baby. He'll hurt the baby. Please don't hurt my mommy..._

_"I like them young." he growled, terrifying me. "The younger, the better..."_

My heart jumped to my throat once two white arms wrapped around me and I screamed when they lifted me off the ground. I wriggled and thrashed against his chest, so scared to the bone that he found me to repeat the awful damage.

"No!" I screamed, the tears spilling freely. "I won't tell her, I swear!"

"Alice!"

The crying and the violent thrashes came to a halt when I heard Jasper's voice shout my name. I opened my eyes and saw that all traces of darkness gone. Everything around me was green. Too much green.

"Relax, darlin'."

My breathing evened out at the warm touch of his well-defined chest against my wet cheek.

"There, there..." he rubbed my back with soothing little circles. "You're okay now."

I let forth a shaky but relieved sigh my head lifted to look at Jasper, just to make sure it's really him, not _him_...

As our eyes met, a wave of calm possessed my once fear-stricken self. His hand brushed the stray dark hairs away from my eyes.

"Don't scare me like that, darlin'." he told me, wiping the remaining tears away from my face.

"I'm-I'm sorry..." I sobbed pathetically, my arms encircling his neck, hoping he could save me from the monster of my past. "I-I won't do it again..."

Jasper looked at me with worry as more tears ran down my face.

"It's okay, baby." he crooned and I trembled in his arms when he kissed my damp hair. "It's my fault."

_"What?"_

I stared at him in question. He took note of my expression and bowed his head like a perfect Southern gentleman. My lips twitched upward, wishing I had a camera for this moment.

"It was very wrong of me to force myself on you like that. I understand my actions scared you but I never meant for it to happen." His eyes were sincere and his Southern drawl was soft. I was starting to feel guilty...

_"Why am I so guilty?"_ I asked myself. My mind went blank to the event that triggered that painful memory.

_I didn't know how far I ran, but what I did know was that I was so ashamed and so very tired. Swearing under my breath, I pulled my knees to my heaving chest and rested my head against the bark of a huge tree. I just wanted to be by myself right now, with no Bella, Jasper, or any of the others to bother me._

_I couldn't believe what I've done and the horrendous thoughts going through my head while Jasper kissed me. How unholy could I be? And the way my body responded, so sinful with lust._

_I trembled, the hairs on my arms standing on each end when everything around me became dark. Soon enough, I was back to that familiar dungeon of a room with the vile monster towering over me, so anxious to steal my innocence from me...all over and over again until nothing was left._

"Alice?"

His sweet voice broke through my thoughts and my eyes opened yet again, to see his sculpted chest right in front of me. His hand tucked under my chin and gently lifted so I could lose myself into those soft blue pools of love and compassion.

"Is there something troubling you?" he asked me very softly as his fingers raked through my hair and I relaxed at his touch. "Want to tell me?"

I bit my lip, the small voice in my head demanding I should tell him. But would that make things better? Would it?

I shook my head, my eyes watering as they averted from his gentle gaze. My deceiving tears slid down my cheeks and then he wiped them away once more.

"What's going on?"

I choked back a sob when he kissed my hair again.

"You don't have to tell me if it's too personal, okay?"

I nodded. We stayed quiet until I finally came to my senses.

"Darlin'?"

"Mhm." I mumbled and then sniffled a little.

"Can you forgive me?" he pleaded, his hand caressing the small of my back so amorously.

"Forgive you?" I asked, my brows furrowing in confusion when it was me who was supposed to beg for his forgiveness from seducing him. "For what?"

"For taking advantage of you." he replied, his anguish hitting a nerve as he continued to caress me.

"You didn't-" I tried to argue but he cut me off by putting a finger to my lips.

A distasteful idea came in mind about dragging that one finger in my mouth and demonstrate how much I wanted him...Oh my god, Alice! Really?

"I understand if you won't excuse my horrible behavior."

I made a second attempt to protest but he shushed me again.

"I swear I'll never try to do something you're obviously not ready for." His expression was hard and set, and it made me realize something. Why am I so aroused by this?

"O-okay." I stammered, my cheeks growing hot at how intense he stared at me. I also wanted to laugh because of how adorable he was being. He did nothing wrong when it was me all along.

"From now on," he said, the intensity disappearing from his crystal blue eyes as a gentle smile dawned on his perfect lips, "I'll refrain from kissing you and all that good stuff..." the gentle smile turned to a mischevious smirk, "if you give me permission."

I gulped, definitely blushing harder when he winked at me.

"Let's go back, shall we?" he suggested, turning us around in the direction he came in.

I blanked for a minute and then felt my fury from earlier return.

"I'm not going back." I muttered, my thoughts going back to the "piranha" incident. "I'm staying right here."

"Is it because of Bells?" asked the handsome man, carrying me out of the darkest parts of the woods.

I nodded as the hatred for that conniving tramp coarsed through me. Jasper chuckled and kissed me lightly on my cheek. I shot him a glare for not asking me if he could kiss me.

"She was only joking, darlin'." he reminded me, shifting me to one side as his free hand shoved a large branch from our path. "Don't take it to heart."

"It was a mean trick." I complained like a stubborn little girl. "And you guys laughed at me."

"Aww, come here." he crooned, stopping in his tracks to crush my body to his. "I told you, silly girl, I only laughed 'cause your so adorable."

"Doesn't matter." I grumbled. "You still laughed at me."

"Oh be quiet." he laughed, kissing me all over my face...without my permission!

I glowered at him once he stopped the torturous kisses.

"What?" he said, kissing tip of my nose.

"You know what?" I hissed, glaring at him.

"I know what?" he smirked, his lips reaching out for mine, but I turned my head to the side."You little minx..."

"I didn't say you could kiss me, Jasper." I told him, pointing an accusing finger at him. I then let out a chirpy giggle I never knew I had when he pouted at me.

"I'm sowwy, ma'am." he said, his forehead touching mine as his eyes stared at my lips in longing. "May I kiss you now?"

I smiled shyly at him and cheekily answered,"Umm...I don't know. You didn't say the magic word."

"Please?"

Grinning evilly, I shook my head receiving another pout from him and I gave up. "Fine, you may kiss me..."

* * *

I sat comfortably next to Jasper in front of the bonfire, the both of us laughing at some joke Emmett made while Jasper and I roasted our marshmellows and chocolates.

"Ihop's tootie fruity pancakes are fucking delicious!" Emmett roared, specks of food flying from his mouth.

Rosalie simply rolled her pretty eyes at the giant goofball and bit down on her smore. The rest of us laughed so hard that we couldn't breathe.

"With lots and lots of strawberries..." sighed the giant in gusto and then yelped when he stuffed a flaming hot smore into his mouth. Rose finally got off her high horse and laughed.

"Not funny!" cried Emmett, fanning the heat from his mouth with a huge hand. "That really hurt..."

"That's what you get for being a pig." scoffed Rose, her face flushed from laughing.

"Kiss it better, Rosie?" pleaded Emmett, opening his mouth slightly as he leaned towards Rose, who scrunched her perfect nose in disgust.

"Ew." she uttered and scooted away from him. "Go away."

"Kiss me!" demanded Emmett, closing in on the digusted blonde beauty. "You know you wannna!"

Not sure if she could take anymore of this, Rosalie got to her feet and ran away. Seeing this as a challenge, Emmett trotted after her.

After the laughter died down, I brought my attention back to Jasper, who was done roasting his marshmellow and chocolate. He reached for a bag of graham crackers and slid the melting chocolate and marshmellow from the stick on one of the crackers.

"Wanna bite?" Jasper asked me, holding the smore to my face.

I laughed and shook my head, thinking he was joking. I then stopped laughing when I realized he was serious.

"Come on..." he urged, and I blushed when my stomach growled at the sweet aroma of the melting chocolate. "Just one bite..."

"Mm...no." I groaned, still blushing. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Bella elbowing Edward in the rib with a devious smirk on her face. I ignored her and focused on Jasper.

"Open up." he said to me and I again ignored Bella's perverted sniggers. "It's tasty..."

Hesitantly my mouth opened a little and he slowly held the tasty treat to my lips.

"Careful, it's hot." he warned me as he watched me take a tentative bite.

"Aww!" gushed the pestering Bella Swan. "So cute!"

_"Bitch."_ I thought, my mouth too full to insult her.

* * *

It was way too dark and I was beginning to worry that I might not get home before eleven. I say this because everyone moved everything into the woods and then began to set up tents. I was very shocked and angry. Bella never mentioned camping! That bitch!

Angry, I stalked away behind a nearby tree and crossed my arms in front of me. Just after I left, Edward started to talk about me.

"How could something so tiny be so annoying?"

"Asshole." I muttered but then the anger vanished when Jasper spoke up for me.

"She's just having a rough time. Leave her alone."

"Rough time my ass!" scoffed Edward. "She's a fuckin's buzz-kill!"

"I agree with Edward, Jazz." jumped in Rosalie. "She's very moody and that kind of brings everyone down."

"That's just who Alice is." interjected Bella. "She was like that from the first day I met her."

I rolled my eyes. _"Great friend you are, Bella."_

"No matter how much I try to help her, Alice never changes."

_"Whatever."_ my mind spat as my eyes teared up.

"What's her problem?" asked Emmett. "Why is she so fucking sad all the time? Did she say something to you, Jazzman? You were with her a lot."

What they were saying was true. I admit it. My presence annoyed people. Everyone would be a lot happier if my sad ass weren't around. Rosalie did have a point; I do bring people down.

I heard Jasper sigh in annoyance.

"Give her a break." he told them and my head lifted when I felt him coming around the tree. He finally found me and gave me a reassuring smile. "Fuck them, okay?"

I giggled quietly, feeling a little better. He took my hand and walked us back to where the four tents. We stopped in front of a black tent next to Edward's green one. I tried not to vomit when I heard lips smacking noisily in the green tent.

"We get this one to ourselves." Jasper said, unzipping the front of his tent. "After you."

I felt sick bubbling in the pit of my stomach at the sound of heavy sighs and groans.

"Come on." Jasper gently pulled on my arm as he crawled inside the tent.

Bella sighed Edward's name and Jasper chuckled lightly at it. "They never stop, do they?"

"I changed my mind." I squeaked. "Can I go home, please?"

I cringed when the tent next to us rustled followed by a pleasurable moan from Edward. Then something hit me, and it was impossible for me to breathe. _"Why am I here anyways?"_ I thought. _"Why did he bring me here? Does he want something from me?"_ I gulped in fear.

"Ignore them." he told me as he laughed at my fearful expression. "Em will put a stop to it anytime soon."

"Why are we alone, Jasper?" I whispered, my body trembling slightly, fearing the awful pain that was inflicted on me years before.

"Why are you so scared?" he asked me. I flinched when he touched my cheek.

Another moan from Edward made me cringe once again. Jasper noticed and laughed humorously.

"I told you." he said. "I'm not allowed to kiss you unless you want me to."

I scowled as I tried to ignore the over-sexed lovebirds.

"I thought we'd talk a little now that it's just the two of us." Jasper said as he pulled out a black sleeping bag from another giant bag and laid it between the empty space between us. He unzipped its edges and opened it.

"Cuddle?" he suggested as he tucked himself in it.

"No thank you." I replied, the uneasy feeling returning to me.

"Aw, come on..." he pouted at me while patting the extra space beside him.

I repeated myself but he was so persistent.

"No." I told him. "N.O. No."

"I won't bite." he teased and I gasped when he lunged forward to grab me. "Not unless you want me to."

I growled, swatting his hands away from me as the heat crept onto my cheeks. He laughed victoriously once he helped tuck me in. I silently thanked the heavens that I had time to change back to my shirt and jeans, because I knew something bad would happen if I were still clad in that revealing bikini.

"Comfy?"

I tensed at the extensive heat his body was giving off from being so close to me. Very close.

"Cuddling is nice, right?" he continued, his arm circling my waist to pull me more to him. I shivered once he buried his face to the crook of my neck. I felt him inhale my scent and then something warm pooled between my legs when his lips puckered against my sensitive skin.

"Stop it." I squeaked in fright, my hands pushing him away. He only chuckled and withdrew himself from me to lay on his side as I moved to lay on my back.

A shaky sigh surpassed my lips as I blankly stared at the tent's murky ceiling. _"What am I doing?"_ I asked myself, resting my hands on my chest. My eyes tore away from the ceiling to the strange manly hand that rested on top of mine. I swallowed hard, my heart hammering madly as his eyes gazed down on me.

"I'm so glad I met you, Alice." he whispered to me, his long fingers tracing little circles on the back of my hand. "You're very sweet and so lovely."

My eyes lowered as my teeth worried my bottom lip. Hearing that from him was very weird. It was getting very warm just when his hand settled on my side and began to caress me. My breath hitched when his fingers slipped under the hem of my shirt.

"Am I scaring you?" he asked me, the rough pads of his fingers assaulting the soft flesh of my belly.

"A little..." I admitted, shutting my eyes as visions of my past began to cloud my head.

"You shouldn't be scared." His lips gently brushed the spot below my jaw and I shuddered, my lashes fluttering against my cheeks. "I wouldn't hurt you for the world..."

"Why are we really here, Jasper?" I sighed as I tried not to enjoy the incredible sensation his lips were giving me. "I thought you wanted to talk-"

He cut me off by capturing my lips with his. I squeaked in protest but his persistent lips convinced me to enjoy the moment. It started out as a couple chaste caresses but then progressed into deep, smoldering strokes that had me writhing for more.

"Damn it, Alice..." he moaned as he tore his lips from my mouth to the crook of my neck. A small sound emitted from me when he began to leave wet trails of open-mouthed kisses up and down my neck. "Please let me kiss you..."

"I didn't say you could-"

His mouth smothered mine as his arm snaked around my middle, pulling my writhing form tightly to his taut chest. He moaned into my mouth before pulling away from me, leaving me completely stunned, flushed, and out of breath.

"I can't help myself." he rasped, his eyes dark with desire as his tongue darted across his lips. "Sorry."

"You said you'd ask first." I growled, my breathing becoming even as I glared at him. "What kind of person breaks that promise?"

"One who can't resist temptation." he smirked. "Especially since that temptation is _you_, darlin'."

I scowled.

"Fine." he chuckled, taking his arm away from my waist. "From now on..." he leaned over again to steal another kiss from me but I leaned away, "I'll keep my hands to myself. Happy?"

_"Yeah right."_ I rolled my eyes, refusing to believe him.

"I swear." Jasper swore, his dazed eyes serious as he laid his hand on his side. "See? My hands won't dare to go anywhere near you."

"Sure." My lips curved upward when a pained groan seeped from his lips.

"Why won't you believe me?" he whined, running a hands through his unruly blond curls. "It hurts my feelings when people doubt me." he then pouted adorably at me and I giggled. "It hurts more when you do it to me."

I giggled more and this time I was tempted to kiss that adorable pout off his beautiful lips.

"You are breathtaking, you know?" he said softly, gazing at me with a dreamy expression.

I stopped my naive giggles and annoying titters, feeling my furious blush come back to haunt me.

"Those sweet little laughs of yours..." Jasper sighed, and I could tell he yearned to touch me one more time but he couldn't, "are something worth listening to everyday."

I stayed quiet, my mind wishing he would just be quiet. The things that come out of his mouth were kind of embarrassing because I never thought of myself as the "sweet angel" he believes I am. It's rather heartbreaking, really.

"I would love to meet the man and woman who created such a lovely girl like you, Alice." he suddenly said, and just like that my whole body went rigid and my face was as pale as a corpse.

"Hmm?" I uttered, my closed mouth too scared to spill my deepest and tormenting secrets.

"I believe the woman who was with you when we first met, " he laughed a little at the embarrassing memory, "was your mother, right?"

I nodded slowly, my mouth still shut.

"And the little girl with her was your sister or cousin?"

"Cyn-Cynthia is my baby sister." I stuttered, my mind now travelling through nightmares of the past. Jasper's hearty chuckles brought me back to the present.

"She's like a mini-version of you." he commented, amusement and adoration alight in his blue eyes. "And quite a firecracker over the phone."

I shrugged. "She is."

Jasper chuckled more and I joined in a silent laugh as my baby sister's face appeared in my head.

"My mother believes Cindy takes after me." My silent laugh died when another vision of the monster tearing me to shreds replaced Cynthia's childish face.

"Cindy?"

"It's Cynthia's nickname." I explained, remembering why it was in the first place. "It was given to her by our mom whenever we watched Disney movies." With a sheepish smile, I looked over at Jasper who looked so interested. "Mine was Alice, of course."

Jasper smirked and his eyes left mine to examine my choppy dark hair. "Your name maybe Alice, but you look more like Snow White."

I rolled my eyes at him as I giggled. "That was my mom's nickname."

"Really?"

Nodding, I replied. "She had short hair then."

Jasper threw me a smile which nearly had me melting to a puddle. "I've only seen her once but I know you look just like her..." he began to laugh, "but you're tinier than her. What are you? 5'1 or something?"

I glowered at him, deeply offended. "Mind you, I'm 4'11." My cheeks flushed in humiliation at what I just admitted to him. "Please don't say anything."

"Why?" he asked, no hint of humor in his tone. "I find that extremely sexy."

Blushing harder, I grumbled "Shut up."

He saved me from more embarrassment and changed the subject. "What's your father like?"

I went rigid again.

"I would love to meet him one of these days."

_"No, you don't." _My mind growled.

"Alice? Are you okay?"

Taking a deep breath, I looked straight into Jasper's curious eyes as two voices in my head fought to stay quiet or to finally tell him.

"Jasper?" I whispered, hoping no one outside the tent could hear me. "I-I was..." I paused, the tears beginning to blind me.

"You were what, darlin'?" he urged, breaking his promise for the hundredth time as his hand stroked the side of my face. "Alice?"

The two voices were becoming louder, both so demanding and so confusing!

_"Tell him."_ voice number one says calmly at first. _"You won't have to suffer anymore."_

_"It's best if you don't."_ piped the second one. _"Think about the others you're protecting!"_

_"He's never going to stop hurting you if you'll just open your mouth, Alice!"_

_"He will hurt you and the ones you love! He did threaten you for fuck's sakes!"_

_"Speak, Alice! SPEAK!"_

_"Keep your mouth shut! If you don't...it's your beloved Cynthia who will pay!"_

_"Think of all the girls he'd hurt because you never spoke up!"_

_"Think of your poor mother and sister. You don't want them to suffer!"_

_"You're hurting yourself!"_

_"You're protecting Cynthia and your mother!"_

_"Say something, Alice...please!"_

"Alice, what is it?"

Ignoring the annoying voices, I focused on the concerned eyes of the handsome man laying next to me and took a deep breath.

* * *

**Before you guys write anything...please hear me out. What Alice is going through is painful as it is terrible. I was never raped but I was only molested as a child. As young children, we're introduced to things like Teddy bears, Barbie dolls, toy cars, and fairytales, but not to anything sexual because it'll ruin our innocence. I was eight when it happened, and...fuck, I was confused, scared, dirty, unworthy...and most importantly ashamed. I was ashamed that I let myself be touched by someone who I thought would be there for me whenever I needed him. I carried those emotions through my teen years. The very thought of that pig haunted me (Literally) everywhere I went; school, amusement parks, tennis practice...and even in the shower. It was hard accepting what had happened to me, and every time I thought about it, I would blame myself. I would fucking cry every night, wondering if he'd touched someone else before or after me. Especially after me... it's just so painful and so sad how someone would hurt a child, to gain what? Why did he do it? Did I deserve it? I thought I did.**

**I don't know exactly how a rape would feel like...but I could imagine the painful scars it leaves behind. Those scars are always there...always there to remind you that it happened, there's no doubt about it. That vile beast stole somethings that I thought I may never get back. My happiness, my hopes, my dreams, and my self-esteem. But there's always one thing that will never return to me...my innocence. What hurts the most is lying to my mother and my papa...the poor saps had no idea what had occured under their own roof and then finally found out after ten years. I will not forget the pained look on my mother's face and the way papa...fuck.**

**Well anyways...the main point of that was to give you guys a brief understanding of what Alice is going through. Some of you may have all ready and I'm glad but sorry that you do. Ummm...where's my tissue! Okay...that was long ago, I'm happy now! Lol, especially with my Hen-Hen! (He hates that nickname)**

**To leave you guys on a happier note... the wedding will be in June something. Hehe! And if you're wondering...the bachelorette parties were AMAZING and yes I did get drunk in all of them. I'm serious guys...just one drink or sip and I'm done for. :P**

**Okay, thank you so much! You guys are awesome and make my rainy days :)**

**Damn it! Headache...**

**P.S: Don't be misguided...things may not be as they seem (keep this in mind, it's important)**


	16. Feel

**Hey everyone! Thank you guys so much for the amazing reviews! I love you all! Like I said before... you guys make my rainy days! ^^**

**Well...thank goodness there were no reviews for this chapter, because I completely forgot to add somethings. And so I did! :D**

**I'll have more free time after this whole wedding fiasco is over! It's almost here anyways... but I have a feeling the honeymoon will take forever. Henry is thinking about going to the Dominican Republic. I think the new Pirates movie gave him that idea! Speaking of Pirates...It was AMAZING! The mermaids were so beautiful! I was surprised to see Gemma Ward playing the seductive mermaid... she totally freaked me out (In a good way lol!) When I was younger, I dreamed of being a mermaid! I practically squealed in my seat when they appeared! OMG! So Dominican Republic... very beautiful island. I've been there before...but I heard there's a load of hard shit going on there, so I'm kind of afraid. Lol.**

**And one more thing! There are rumors that Ashley Greene and Jackson Rathborne were hooking up. Hmm...if that's true... then it's about fucking time. They're so cute together. Oh well...**

**Punta Cana, here I come!**

**Enjoy this little chappie! I was giggly through writing it! Hehe!**

* * *

**Chapter 16: Feel...**

_"Say something, Alice...please!"_

_Ignoring the annoying voices, I focused on the concerned eyes of the handsome man laying next to me and took a deep breath._

Thunderous roars and screams made Jasper and I jump out of our skins.

"What the hell is that?" I shrieked, my heart racing as I held onto Jasper for dear life, completely forgetting everything I was going to confess to him. I buried my face in his chest, where his heart matched my heart's alarming pace.

"It's only Emmett, relax, darlin'." Jasper, squeezing my trembling form as his heart slowed to a calmer tempo.

"Are you sure?" I squeaked, looking up from his sculpted chest to his dazzling blue eyes, which were smiling down at me. I blushed and averted my gaze back to his chest. "What if it's Jason? Or Freddy?"

He chuckled in amusement and kissed the top of my head. "Damn it, you're too cute."

I rolled my eyes, feeling more heat creeping onto my cheeks. "What's he doing? And who was that screaming?"

"I'm guessing it was Bella." he simply answered and then laughed when I stiffened in his arms.

_"Oh my god, Bella!"_ My eyes widened in horror. Even though the bitch embarrassed the crap out of me, I wanted to check if she was alright. She was my best friend after all.

"I wouldn't go out there!" Jasper cautioned, grabbing me around my waist just after I tore myself away from his arms. "It's safer here, trust me."

"But Bella is in trouble." I pleaded, pushing at his naked chest as his hands tried to keep me in place. "She's my best friend, Jasper..."

He laughed and I glared at him for doing so. Apparently the bastard thinks it's funny that I worry about my friend's safety.

"Bella and Edward will be fine." he assured me and he laughed a little more when I frowned. "I thought you were mad at her?"

"She's my best friend." I repeated quite stubbornly.

"Trust me when I tell you this." he said, all traces of humor gone. I bit my lip, losing myself into his gorgeous blue eyes, which were looking at me with so much intensity. "It's best we stay here. I guarantee it's not pretty out there."

I huffed in annoyance and waited until Emmett finished tormenting the over-sexed couple. Jasper and I laughed when we heard Rosalie busting her ass by yelling at him to stop. My frows pulled together in confusion, realizing who was missing.

"Where's Jacob?" I asked, wondering why his voice was nowhere to be heard.

"He's probably back home." Jasper shrugged, his hands running down my back, reactivating my shivers. "His house is not far from here."

"Oh." was all I could say as I also wondered why I've never gone to his house all these years we've been friends. "I didn't know that."

"Well..." he chuckled, kissing my cheek softly and he smirked cheekily at me when I shot him a glare, "now you know."

The strange revving sounds reached the front of Jasper's tent and I deliberately wrapped my arms tightly around Jasper's neck, hoisting my body firmly to his.

_"Shit, I'm gonna die!"_

"It better not smell like fuck in there!" shouted Emmett. "Or else you'll have me to deal with!"

"What's he talking about?" I shrieked, my hold on Jasper tightening. "What's going on?"

"We're just talking, Em!" shouted Jasper.

My teeth began to shatter, fearing the worst is yet to come.

"Are you sure? Edward said the same thing!"

Jasper sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Give me a minute, darlin'." he told me.

"No. Come back..." I whimpered helplessly when he released himself from my firm hold and went over to unzip the front of the black tent. "This isn't good-"

I gasped when I saw Emmett glaring down at Jasper and me with suspicion, his grizzly hands holding a chainsaw, which was fully prepared to tear anyone's limbs to shreds.

I gulped in horror, my mind telling me that this will be the last night of my life. My lip quivered when I thought about my mother and my baby sister. It's too late to say goodbye...

"Em, relax, man." said Japer, laughing his ass off at the vicious giant. My face went stark when Jasper looked over his shoulder, his hand gesturing to Emmett where I sat. "You're scaring her."

Emmett's eyes softened as the friendly dimpled smile spread across his face once he took note of my obvious frightened state and also the fact that both Jasper and I were fully clothed.

"Hey there, pixie." he greeted me, turning off the deadly chainsaw.

Jasper winked at me. A blush tinged my cheeks as the fear that had me shaking in my boots vanished.

I nodded at Emmett, who laughed in amusement.

"Sorry if I scared you. I was making sure I'd get some peace and quiet. These idiots were going at it like rabbits! I fucking can't sleep!"

Emmett shuddered in disgust when his eyes traveled to the tent next to us.

"Fucking nasty!" he shuddered again and Jasper laughed to himself. "It's indecent to do that shit right next to people! What the fuck!"

Jasper stuck his head out the tent and then went back inside.

"Where are they?" he asked Em, his voice laced with concern. "What did you do?"

"Since they couldn't finish here..." Emmett, smirked. "The horny fucks took it somewhere else."

I frowned. The respect I had for Bella diminishing. She's disgraced herself, to me, and to Charlie...poor Charlie. His only daughter is a certified slut.

"Where's Rose?"

Emmett's victorious smirk was conquered by complete sadness at the mention of Rosalie's name. "She's back in _her_ tent." He hung his head and I felt bad for him, remembering the night Rose admitted her true feelings for him.

"She's mad at me." he moped, he then looked up at Jasper and me and smiled widely. "Well, at least now I can get some shot-eye. See you in the morning-oh, and Alice?"

I met his gaze and my heart almost gave out to him. His hazel eyes were so sincere as his friendly smile caused the childish dimples to deepen. He reminded me of a teddy bear I once had.

"Sorry." he said and then waved after I smiled at him in return, letting him him know that I accept his apology.

Just after Jasper zipped up the tent, I began to get weary and then let forth a yawn, which made Jasper chuckle as he crawled back to me.

"Tired, baby?" he asked, the warmth of his body enveloping me when he took me back in his strong arms.

I nodded, my eyes drooping with sleep all the while he tucked the both of us in his sleeping bag. My body tensed when my shirt rode up to my ribcage and then gasped at the touch of his warm hand stroking my bare skin.

"It's alright, darlin'." he whispered to me, calm overwhelming me as my skin heated from his tender caresses. "Jasper's here, baby."

"Will I go home soon?" I whispered to him, closing my eyes while my hand lingered on his firm chest where his heart harmoniously beat beneath my palm.

"Of course you will." he assured me, I could hear the gentle smile forming on his lips. "But as for now..." he pressed a kiss to my temple and I sighed deeply, feeling another wave of calm. "It's best if you rest."

I felt his soft lips on my temple again and I drifted away to a peaceful sleep, not caring that he did not ask for my permission.

* * *

The melodic chirps of birds flying in the distance disturbed me from a goodnight's rest. I stirred until my eyes fluttered open and a smile tugged at the corners of my lips when my mind wandered back to my sweet dream.

"Hmm..." I sighed while arching my back. As I did so, I felt something hard digging into my lower back, while something that felt like a set of a fingers, tickled the exposed skin of my waist.

My body trembled slightly but not in fear. _"Very odd..."_ I arched my back allowing more of his warmth to coarse through me, as my skin enjoyed the light brushes his talented fingers.

A gutteral groan emitted from him as something pressed harder into my lower back.

_"What is that?"_ I thought, my eyes squinting while pressing my back to him._ "It's so hard..."_ I wiggled my bottom, wondering what the hell that _thing_ could be.

"Alice..." he groaned, his hand grabbing my hip. "Please stop that."

_"Stop what?"_ My mind said while focusing on the hard object poking me from behind.

I wiggled again and I whimpered in pain when his fingers dug into my skin.

"God, Alice..." he moaned, the calloused tips of his fingers relieving the pain by returning to its tender caresses.

The next thing I knew, his hand settled on my thigh, and a moan of my own surpassed my lips when it began to massage me.

_"Oh shit..."_

My eyes fluttered when I felt the warmth moistening my panties as my nipples puckered behind my bra.

"Mm..." I mewed, squirming when the massages got harder as that unknown_ thing_ on my back.

Jasper groaned again and I threw my head against his bare chest feeling his hand traveling up my thigh and then rested on my belly until it began to move again. Squirming against his body was all I could do while his fingers grazed my navel.

I wanted so badly for him to touch my breasts. They were so pert and ready to be pleased. With my head clouded with lust, my hand rested on the one on my belly, curled my fingers around his, and carefully slid it closer to my right breast.

It took me five seconds to realize what the hell I was about to do. Gently dropping his hand, I slowly sat up and turned a little to look at him.

I was relieved to see that he was still sound asleep. As I stared at him, I couldn't help but be captivated by his beauty; Tendrils of golden hair nestled on his right cheek, where that adorable dimple deepened as his lips curved into a small smile. He was an angel when he slept. So peaceful and so beautiful.

Noting that smile etched on his face, I was beginning to think that he was fully awake, watching me gawk at him like a complete lovestruck idiot. My cheeks caught fire at that embarrassing thought but my eyes were still glued on this charming man. **(A.N: I love that song!)**

"Jasper?" I whispered, my hand settling on his rising chest. "Are you awake?"

_"I hope not."_ I thought, moving my hand over his heart, and it lingered there, feeling the soft hums and beats of his heart. _"It matches mine."_

As my fingers drew light circles on his skin, I couldn't help the grin forming on my lips.

_"I'm touching a man..."_ I bit my lip from wanting to squeal in excitement. _"I'm touching a man and not even scared. Not at all."_

My heart halted and I quickly took my hand away when Jasper grunted before moving from his side to his back. A breath of relief gushed out of me, seeing that he was still asleep.

Now that he was on his back, his golden hair no longer nestled on his cheek. It was sprawled all over the place, creating a golden halo on the top of his head.

I giggled but then was mesmerized by the one dimple caused by that amazing smile.

_"What's he smiling about?"_ I wondered, my hand returning to his chest, which still heaved softly. _"Must be a very good dream."_

He shifted again but I didn't take my hand away this time. I was distracted by the taut muscles flexing on his abdomen.

I bit my lip as my fingers lightly grazed over them. I shuddered at how good it felt. He was very warm, firm...and so perfect.

_"I'm laying next to a god."_

I felt the muscles twitch as the tips of my fingers glided back to his chest.

_"He's so perfect."_

I could almost imagine the amazing feel of my pert breasts pressing against his hard chest, his calloused hands groping my non-existing curves as he sheathes himself inside me...slowly making me his. Only his.

_"Oh dear lord..."_

My stomach fluttered at the thought while stroking his cheek, which bore the irristible dimple.

_"He's so cute."_

I bit the inside of my cheek as my fingers skimmed through the light stubbles next to the right corner of his mouth.

_"He shaves!"_ I mused, observing the tiny blondish-brown spikes sprouting along the contours of his jaw. I frowned for not noticing it before.

My bottom lip tucked under my front teeth when my eyes landed on his lips. They looked so soft. _"They are soft."_ I reminded myself, my own lips tingling from last night.

Sighing softly, I longed to kiss him again to feel the way I did the night before. I was warm all over and so safe. Fuck, I'm craving more of his sweet kisses.

Focusing on his beautiful mouth, my tongue slowly darted out and licked across my bottom lip as I began to lean forward. My heart was racing and my mind yelled at me to stop, but my lips were willing.

With my hand settling back on his chest, my lips etched closer to his mouth...

Warmth and comfort embraced me as soon as our lips touched. If I were to die in this very moment, I'd die a very happy girl. Nothing could ruin this...

I felt him stir, and I quickly pulled away to find myself blushing a deep shade of red when his round hazy eyes stared right at me.

_"Shit."_

My heart was pounding hard. Mostly in dread. All I could do was stare back at him, my face ripe with shame. Fuck. That's not even the right word. I was mortified. He caught me. He fucking caught me.

Jasper's tongue licked his lips as though he'd tasted something very sweet and then grinned at me, his hand covering mine, which was still perched on his broad chest. I cursed under my breath for not taking care of it.

"Good morning to you too, darlin'." he drawled, the light blue depths of his eyes darkening as they landed on my tingling lips. "How are you feeling today?"

I averted my gaze, my cheeks burning uncontrollably at what I've just done...and especially for being caught.

Something began to trace gentle circles on the back of my hand. I looked back at him, too afraid to say anything.

"Aww, baby..." he crooned, bringing my trembling hand to his lips so he could plant a soft kiss on the knuckles. "C'mere." The kisses traveled up my hand to the inside of my wrist while pulling me into his arms. "Don't feel bad, darlin'."

I shuddered against his bare chest when he kissed my temple.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to..." I lied, squirming in his arms as his mouth latched onto the sensitive skin of my neck.

"Sure you did." he slurred, his kisses delightful as his big rough hands, which were roaming all over my back. "Teasing me since this morning, are ya now?"

His lips danced along my jaw until his breath tickled my ear.

"How naughty of you, Miss Alice."

I mewed softly, my hips bucking all of a sudden when he began to nibble on the skin below my ear. He chuckled at my strange reaction and continued peppering kisses down my neck. He moaned against my heated skin, his hands on the small of my back, creeping under my shirt.

"It's going to be very hard to resist you, darlin'." he drawled. I winced, my fingers digging on his shoulders when his teeth scraped along my blemished neck. "You taste so good..."

"Jasper..." I sighed, trembling from what he was doing to me. "Please..."

"Please what, darlin'?"

I began to whimper a little, the pleasing sensation I was feeling earlier vanishing just as he bit and then sucked hard at the side of my neck. I'm getting scared now.

"Don't do that." I whimpered, a slight sting inflicting from the hungry suckles and bites. "It really hurts."

He stopped and I was very relieved but then I winced again when he placed several tender kisses on my stinging injury.

"Sorry." he rasped after each peck. "Sorry, baby..."

I shoved him away from my neck in fear that he might hurt it again. His hands moved from the small of my back and took my face in them. I flinched a little when I felt his lips pressing to mine.

"I went a little too far." he admitted after pulling away to look me in the eyes. "Sorry."

I didn't respond. It was either because I was still embarrassed from earlier or because I was dizzy from what he just did to me.

"Are you alright?" he asked me, his blue eyes concerned as they stared at me.

My hands gripped his shoulders tightly, my head spinning madly from the heat produced by our embrasive bodies.

"Shit." he muttered. "You need air."

My stomach bubbled with nausea and I buried my face in the crook of his neck as my arms wrapped around it. He kissed my temple while moving us out of the stuffy tent and I start to feel a little better as soon as a fresh breeze rushed past us. I sighed, lifting my head and letting my eyes examine our surroundings.

"They're still sleeping?" I asked, noticing that Jasper and I were the only ones standing outside our tent. Well...he was standing. He had me in his arms, probably worried that I may pass out if he ever puts me down.

"Yeah." he answers with a chuckle as he carefully lowers me on the ground. "I can hear him snore."

I giggled but then winced in pain when I felt an uncomfortable sting on the side of my neck.

"Something wrong?" he asked me, touching the hand that tried to soothe the stinging spot on my neck.

I shrugged, my cheeks in flames when I dropped my hand to my side so he could observe the mysterious burn. I heard him laugh softly to himself and I glared up at him. How dare he laugh at me when I'm hurting?

"What?" I hissed at him, hastily shoving his hand away my neck.

My nipples hardened and my torn feminity burned with moisture when he flashed me a devilish grin, his eyes sparkling the way they did back inside the tent.

"I marked you pretty good, didn't I?"

I blushed harder, watching him dip his face to the side of my neck. I bit my lip from whimpering in pain when he gently kissed the stinging mark he caused a while ago.

* * *

I watched my little sister toss a small gray stone on the chalk-stained pavement from the passenger window as I tried my best ignoring the bullshit spewing from Bella's mouth.

"Alice, please listen." Bella pleaded. "This is important."

I huffed in annoyance and forced myself to look at her.

"What?" I snapped, my eyes flashing dangerously at my so called "best friend". "What's so important?"

Bella flinched at my harsh tone and nervously tucked a stray brown lock behind her ear. Her shaky hands gripped her steering wheel. I huffed out again, both annoyed and anxious to be far away from this sex-a-holic.

"Alice..."

"You know what?" I said, cutting her off as I hastily grabbed my bag from the space between us. "I don't see why I have to listen to anymore of your shit." I glared at her and refused to feel sorry when her cheeks flushed as her teeth worried her bottom lip. "You were such a great person to be around, Bells," I shook my head at her in disappointment, "but I truly hate the person you've become. Especially with that trash you call your boyfriend."

Her brown eyes widened in shock as her jaw dropped. She looked as though I slapped her hard across the face.

I cleared my throat and pushed the car door open.

"You embarrassed me yesterday, Bells." I reminded her and I sensed remorse radiating from her. Like I gave a shit. "And don't think I didn't hear you talk about me behind my back."

"Alice, let me explain..." she said softly and my arm recoiled from her when her hand touched it.

"Don't fucking touch me!" I hissed, positioning myself to jump out of her damn chevy.

"Don't be like that, Al. Let me explain..." she begged but I shrugged her off and jumped out. "Hear me out!"

"Fuck you, Bella." I spat at her after slamming the door, hoping it will hurt her as much as she hurt me. "Or at least let Cullen do it for you."

With that said, I turned around and stormed into my house, ignoring both my little sister's cheerful greetings and Bella's desperate pleas.

"Shit!" I yelled, throwing my bag on my neatly made bed, my mind and heart blasting with so much hatred for the slut still calling out for me outside my window.

"Just go away, Bella." I grumbled, glaring at her red truck through the blinds. "I don't want to put up with you anymore."

My heart shattered to pieces when she finally drove away, getting the hint that I no longer consider her a loyal friend.

Sadly sighing to myself, I slumped on my bed. I felt my eyes go heavy with sleep. It was still morning, but after everything that happened, I needed some rest.

My lips curved into a tiny smile when I remembered Jasper's lips kissing me good-bye before I left with the backstabber.

_"Here's my number." Jasper said, handing me a small piece of paper once he had me all to himself behind a large tree where Bella's truck was parked. "Call me as soon as you get home, okay?"_

_"Okay." I replied, blushing as my eyes bashfully lowered to my feet. _

_"You better." he joked, lifting my chin with one finger. "I don't think I can trust Bella driving you home, especially after that little stunt she pulled with Edward."_

_I pursed my lips and slipped the piece of paper in my pocket. _

_"Why can't you take me instead?" I asked him, my eyes wide as I gazed into his comforting ocean-like orbs. "I trust you, not her." My blush burned my cheeks at the touching smile he gave me. "Please let me go with you, Jasper."_

_It's odd that after sharing a few days with this man, I'm already trusting him. _

_"I'll tell you what." he bent his head to kiss the tip of my nose, and I giggled at that. "Tomorrow." He kissed my red cheeks and dragged me into his arms. "I can come over your house." He pecked my lips a few times, making me shiver all over. "If you want me to, darlin." _

_Before I could say yes, he captured my lips one last time until Bella ruined the memorable moment._

I sighed happily at the thought of Jasper. There's so many words to describe him and I don't know know where to start. The man is absolute perfection! There's no doubt about that.

Whenever I thought of him, a light suddenly breaks out from the pitch black darkness that used control me. Even though some of his inappropriate touches scare me, I can't help but give into it. Instead of making me feel like a total wretch, Jasper makes me feel things that I could never imagine feeling...especially after what I've been through. He's unbelievably gentle that it almost makes me want to cry.

My hand tucked under my pillow and pulled out the long strip of paper. I giggled when I saw the four pictures of me experiencing my first kiss. While examining the four images, my burdens of my ex-best friend died away. All I could think of was Jasper.

Placing the pictures back under my pillow, I jumped off my bed and skipped out of my room in search for a house phone.

* * *

**She will finally tell him after 5 more chapters. As if right now, I'm trying to make Alice more comfortable with Jazz :) She's already accepting her attraction to him... lol, I just thought she may want to experiment a little more by stealing kisses as he slept (ahem). Hehe! The poor girl had no idea that she had him completely hard. Lol!**

**Thank you guys so much again! Love you all! :)**


	17. You make me feel

**Well, well, well... look who's back? Lol, about time, right?**

**I apologize for not updating in such a loooong loooong time...and I happily announce that my Henry and I are now husband and wife! (Hehe) And fyi, Dominican Republic was so beautiful! Instead of vacationing in California, I'd rather spend my time on that Isla Bonita :) And omg...the main reason why I took so long updating any of my stories is mostly because... I felt so stressed! Ugh! Moving to a new apartment, buying unnecessary shit for our new home, SCHOOL, WORK, and even tons of family crap. Sorry everyone! I don't want to leave you all waiting like that EVER again. Forgive me?**

**So... let's get on with this story, shall we? **

**p.s: Beware of an adorable lisp!**

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**Chapter 17: You make me feel...**

After a long day of completing my chores, I slumped down at the kitchen table and prepared myself a bowl of honey nut cheerios. I giggled to myself at the thought Jasper coming over today. I was so excited! While I cleaned, I managed to check on the time. Anticipation was never a good friend of mine, but it was worth having the place clean for him.

I heard a pained whimper across from me. I looked up from my cereal too see Cynthia struggling to eat her Captain Crunch.

"Are you okay?" I asked her, watching as she inserted her spoon in her mouth in an odd angle.

She shook her head and then winced while she chewed on her cereal. I put my spoon down as I continued to stare at her, wondering what on earth could be bothering her. Once she swallowed, Cynthia brought a hand to her open mouth and with her index finger, she pointed at her two front teeth.

"It hurts!" she cried, her bug eyes watering when she poked them. "Make it stop!"

"What's going on in here?" said my mother, who just made an appearance.

"Mommy, my teeth hurt!" wailed my little sister, tears streaming down her pale cheeks. "Make it stop hurting, mommy!"

My mother's gray-violet eyes shone with concern as she hurried to Cynthia's side. Cynthia flinched at first but then relaxed under mom's soothing touch.

"Which one hurts, baby girl?" she asked Cindy, who winced again when mom touched her two front teeth. Mommy's lips curved into a big smile as her eyes lit up in realization. "Congratulations, monkey butt! You're finally maturing!"

My little sister gawked at our mother as if she had three heads. "Huh?"

I giggled and then stopped once Cynthia shot me a death glare.

"You're losing your baby teeth, sweetheart!" thrilled our mother, ruffling Cindy's long black hair before kissing her damp cheeks.

"I'm gonna be toothless?" shrieked the confused little girl, her violet eyes abnormally large with fear. "Just like Grandpa Joe?"

Both my mother and I laughed so hard as we went about our business. I ignored Cynthia's glares and dug my spoon in my cheerios.

"Mommy?" I began, my voice hoarse from laughing so hard.

"What is it, baby?" she answered, sitting down next to Cindy with a cup a coffee in one hand and a romance novel in the other.

"Is it okay if a friend came over today?" I timidly asked her, my face resembling a tomato.

"Is that why the entire house is so spotless?" she smirked, her eyes skimming through the front cover of her book, which had a half-naked man holding a rope with one hand as the other grasped the milky thigh of a beautiful redheaded maiden.

"Yes, mommy." I admitted, my lashes tickling my reddened cheeks as I held up a spoonful of cheerios to my lips.

"Ooh! Who's coming?" chirped Cynthia, bouncing lightly in her chair. "Is it someone I know?"

"Mary Alice, what the devil is that on your neck?"

_Oh shit._

Mortified, I dropped my spoon in my bowl and looked at my mother, whose stern eyes were glued to the spot where Jasper _nibbled._

"It looks like a hickey." She then glared at me. "What have you been doing, young lady?"

"What's a hickey?" piped up Cynthia, staring from me to our mother. "Is that candy? I want one!"

Mom tore her eyes from me and glared at my little sister. Before mom could open her mouth, the doorbell rang. Sighing in relief, I jumped off my chair and went to go answer it. But it was my mother's annoying voice that stopped me in my tracks.

"Mary, who is that?"

"Him." I squeaked, blushing furiously but thankful that my back was facing her.

"Who's _him_?" she pressed. "Is he the one that gave you that hickey?"

"Candy!"

"Cynthia, you're not eating candy with a loose tooth!"

I rolled my eyes and continued walking. My palms were sweaty and my heart was racing as I inched a little closer to the door. I exhaled sharply once I touched the doorknob and bit my lip nervously when I opened the door.

"Hey there, beautiful."

I felt my stomach flutter when the handsome Jasper Hale, bent his head to kiss me softly on my lips, which began to tingle.

"How many nicknames do I have from you?" I asked him, my cheeks hotter than ever as I stood to the side to let him in. "There's darlin', sweetheart, baby, and now beautiful. Can you make up your mind?"

Jasper chuckled lightly and slid the straps of his black backpack off his shoulders. "Not really." he winked at me, making me giggle like a lovestruck schoolgirl. He turned his attention to the rest of the house and his eyebrows raised to his hairline while nodding his head in approval. "Nice place you got here." he commented, walking away from me and into the living room not so far from us.

"Umm...thanks." I said in a quiet voice, and I controlled myself from boasting about my cleaning.

"Aww, look at you." he crooned as soon as he stopped in front of a nearby picture of a much younger me and baby Cynthia. "You're even cuter as a kid."

I blushed, making my way to his side, and I too examined the picture from so long ago. A sad little smile tugged at the corners of my lips as my mind drifted to the second most dreadful memory of my life.

_My legs swung back and forth while my hands played with the hem of my lacy white shirt. As my mother screamed in agony, I trembled uncontrollably in my seat, hoping that whatever is hurting her will stop. I hated her being in pain. _

_"Will it stop soon?" _

_My voice was too soft and tiny, almost damn near impossible for anyone to hear me. Luckily, an elderly nurse sat next to me and I flinched a little when her wrinkly hand covered my small one, which still toyed with the bottom of my shirt._

_"Your mommy will be okay." she assured me, tenderly squeezing my hand. "Don't you worry so much, deary."_

_I looked up from my hands to the withering eyes of the old woman. I felt my own eyes sting when I saw the love and concern shining in the dark depths of her ancient eyes. My shoulders slumped over and the rest of my body began to shake as a gush of tears splattered on my lap._

_"None of that now." she said, her frail arms encircling my crumbling frame. I sobbed harder when she began to rub my back. "Don't be cryin' now, you hear? This is a time for rejoicin'! You're finally going to be a big sister!"_

_I hiccuped a couple of times, my fragile heart crushing at the very thought of me failing to protect the innocent baby from the evils of the world. Especially from the evil living in my house._

_"I don't think I want to anymore, Mrs. Denver..." I sobbed, shutting my eyes as I pressed my face to her chest, my tears soaking through the thin fabric of her light blue scrubs. _

_The nice old woman gasped and her thin hands gently pulled me away from her, her icy blue eyes wide in astonishment._

_"How could you say that, Mary?" she questioned, her thumbs wiping at the tears on my cheek. "I remember you telling me that your wish was never to be alone! You always wanted a little sister! Why the change of heart, dear?"_

_My lips quivered and my watering eyes averted from her gaze. "I-I don't think..." I let out a whimper and the tears dramatically spilled over._

_"You don't think what, dear?" _

_"I don't think I can protect her..." I crumbled again and threw myself in the old nurse's arms. "I'm scared, Mrs. Denver! I need help-"_

_The fresh wails of a newborn baby broke me and the nurse apart, and standing right there in front of us with a proud grin on his face, was my father._

_"Someone wants to see you, Mary." he told me, his large hand reaching out to me. _

_I swallowed the bile rising to my throat and looked up at Mrs. Denver, who nodded at me in encouragement. _

_"Will you come with me?" I timidly asked her, my watery eyes wide and desperate for protection. "Please, Mrs. Denver. I really need you."_

_She sighed at my pathetic plea and nodded her head in defeat. "Of course, dear."_

_I gave her a silent "thank you" and hesitantly took my father's hand. He squeezed it a few times when he sensed my sudden discomfort as he walked us to a room, where my mother was cradling the crying newborn..._

"Alice, are you all right there darlin'?"

I blinked once and found myself back in my living room, standing in front of a picture of my ten-year-old self gingerly holding a crying infant. A large hand waved in front of my face and I briefly looked over to find Jasper smiling down at me.

"How was the trip to space?" he joked.

I frowned, my head pounding from the second most terrifying memory of my short life.

"W-what do you have planned for us today?" I stuttered, anxious for us to move on from this horrible picture. I have to remind my mother to get rid of this damn picture one of these days.

He smirked at me, taunting me with that adorable dimple on his right cheek as he pulled out a couple of dvds from his black bag.

I raised an eyebrow when my eyes landed on them. The corners of my lips curved once I saw that they were the Disney classics.

"What's all this?" I asked him, my heart warming when he held one of them under my nose with a proud grin on his handsome face. "They're yours?"

Jasper laughed. "Of course not they're not mine! They belong to Rose...I kinda borrowed them for you, because I couldn't get over the way your eyes lit up when you spoke of Snow White," he leaned forward and kissed the tip of my nose, making me blush, "and also to make up for the piranha movie."

My smile widened. I was completely in awe that a man like him would actually allow himself to watch girly princess movies. How thoughtful of him.

"Umm...thank you." I stammered, my heart swelling as my hands covered the blush on my face.

"Anything for you, darlin'." he crooned, enveloping my small frame in his strong arms.

I shivered uncomfortably when I felt his large hands slowly slide down my back. By the time his rough fingers grazed the soft skin under the bottom of my shirt, a pathetic little whimper escaped my lips. Seriously, there's something about his touches that are _so_ _different_. I didn't want him to let me go. His hands felt so good. Undeniably good. My goodness, I could die happily in his arms.

"You're so small, darlin'." Jasper sighed, his arms tightening around my waist, as his lips tentalized a sensitive spot below my ear. "So fucking perfect..."

I mewed when he kissed that tender spot. I heard his groan and felt something hard pressing on my thigh. He held me tightly to him, my small breasts flattening against his rockhard abdominals as his lips and hands continued to caress my skin.

"Mary Alith, what are you doing?"

Holy shit.

I jumped away from Jasper's arms, and looked over at my little sister, who was standing by the kitchen doorway with an amazed look on her face. My hands flew over to my cheeks to cover the mess of red. Cynthia raised her delicate brows at me as her tiny pink lips widened, revealing a gap where her two front teeth used to be.

"What wath that?" she asked, her lisp a lot stronger as her eyes bugged out of her head. "I never thee you do that before with a boy, Mary Alith."

Jasper laughed beside me, ruffling his hair as he began to walk towards her. Cynthia smiled toothlessly at him when he extended his large hand to her. She took it and I was amazed how her tiny hand was dwarfed in his.

"Hey there, little darlin'." he greeted her, elliciting a chirpy giggle from her. "My name's Jasper. What's your name?"

My baby sister blushed a little and knawed at her bottom lip as her lashes fluttered against her rosy cheeks. Something in my head is telling me that I shouldn't be angry at this because she's just a kid...but I couldn't help but feel a little jealous. Darlin' was_ my_ pet name. And the way Cynthia was acting was also hitting a nerve. But then again...Jasper was only being polite.

"Thynthia..." she said, bashfully lowering her bug eyes.

Jasper chuckled and answered, "Well, how do you do, Miss Cynthia?"

I frowned when he raised her little hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. Cynthia blushed harder and was sent to a giggle frenzy.

Shit, this is too much. I can't watch this anymore. Pretty soon she'll grow up and will try to steal my future boyfriends...not that I plan to have much anyways. I'm just saying. Okay, Jasper and I have something to do than to babysit an eight year old.

"Cindy, go with mommy." I told her, rolling my eyes at her practically drooling over Jasper, who winked at her before heading back to his black bag.

"I don't wanna. Mommy ith in her boring garden..." she replied stubbornly, her eyes glazed with fascination as she continued to ogle at my Jasper. "Can't I thstay here with you?"

"Cynthia, leave."

"Let her stay. It's okay." said Jasper, and I glared at him. He laughed as he walked over to me, a knowing glint flickering in his amazing blue eyes. I sighed when he kissed my cheek and then whispered in my ear. "At least someone will actually pay attention to the movie..."

_"What does he mean by that?"_ I thought, shivering at his warm breath tickling the shell of my ear.

"What movie are you gonna watch?" asked my annoying baby sister, who paid no mind to us but the dvd held in Jasper's big hands.

Jasper pulled away from me and smiled at the nosy little girl across from us. "You like Snow White and the seven dwarfs?"

Cynthia's eyes grew impossibly large as her toothless grin grew wider. I rolled my eyes as I whisked the movie from Jasper's hands and strolled over to the television.

"Really?" I heard her squeak. I can feel the excitement radiating off of her. "We're gonna watch it?"

"If you like it, we'll watch it." answered Jasper, chuckling.

"I love it! I love it!" Cynthia squealed. I could hear the couch she just sat on, shifting rapidly, telling me that she's probably jumping for joy.

I groaned in annoyance and got up to join Jasper by the other couch, across from Cynthia, who all of a sudden ran to the kitchen to fetch some snacks.

"Why did you say she could stay?" I hissed at him while he gathered me into his arms as soon as we sat down. "She's going to bother us!"

Jasper shrugged and kissed my nose, making me giggle a little. "I thought I'd be nice. You said she loves Disney too."

"Yeah...but she's so annoying when it comes to watching movies." I complained, pouting up at him while covering us with a wool blanket I found by the armrest. "She can't sit still."

"She'll be fine. You worry so much, darlin'." he told me and I pouted even more, causing him too laugh full heartedly. "You're so adorable when you do that. I just want to _eat_ you up."

I blushed and buried face in his defined chest. He laughed more, wrapping his arms around me, basically pulling me on his lap. I nearly jumped when I felt something solid against my thigh. A gutteral groan ruptured within his chest as his lips began to take its toll down my neck, kissing and sucking anywhere that made me squirm and my torn lady parts throb.

"Jasper..." I sighed, my eyes fluttering, feeling his teeth scrape the contours of my jaw. "Please... not here...ohh..."

His fingers brushed my breasts, which were heaving erratically. I mewed softly, my hands grasping the front of his shirt when I felt my nipples pucker beneath my bra and my panties becoming wetter by each passing second.

"Why do you taste so goddamn amazing? Fuck..." he moaned, but it sounded more like a growl. His hands and mouth began to get more demanding. Before I could let out a moan of my own, his lips covered mine, allowing my moans and mewls to be nothing more than light muffles.

"Anyone want popcorn and thoda-Ew!"

Jasper and I broke away when we heard my little sister's voice come out of nowhere. She was standing there in front of us with a look of digust plastered on her childish face. In her lithe little arm was a bowl of freshly buttered popcorn and three cans of pepsi.

"What are you doing to my thithster?" she asked, her voice tiny as her eyes brimmed with curious innocence. "It looks like you were eating her face."

"Huh?" I uttered, my face all hot and my lips a bit swollen from Jasper's wanton kisses. Jasper, on the other hand, was smiling down at me, his eyes a little dazed. "Wh-what did you say, Cindy?"

Cynthia rolled her eyes and handed us our sodas and the bowl of popcorn. "Can you both not do that, please? I would like to enjoy the movie."

"I'm sorry, ma'am." Jasper told her, the daziness in his eyes never disappearing when he looked up at Cindy. "It won't happen again."

"Okay. Good. Now let's watch Snow White!" she chirped and then skipped off to play the movie.

When Cynthia wasn't looking, Jasper bent his head and pecked my bruised lips a couple of times.

"I guess we're going to have to be more careful now, do we?" he whispered and then kissed me once more. I smiled to myself and brought the blanket up to cover up my frustrating blush. "You're such the little innocent."

I frowned and lightly elbowed him in the gut, making him chuckle. "I'm not innocent at all, Jasper."

My heart began to ache._ "What makes him say that? Why is he lying to me?"_

"Oh yes you are, darlin'." he said, using his hand to uncover my face from my blanket. And with his long fingers curled under my chin, he tilted my head up to look at him. My lips began to quiver when I saw the intense sincerity in his eyes. "Whenever I kiss you senseless, you either hide or run away from me. You were hiding just now, sweetheart."

"Whatever, Jasper..." I muttered, my eyes watering as they drifted over to the television screen, where Snow White sang sweetly into a wishing well.

"Why are you crying?" he asked. I closed my eyes when he ran his thumbs under them, capturing the treacherous tears that fell. "Did I say something to offend you? I hope I didn't."

"I'm fine." I assured him, taking his hands away from my face. "Let's just watch the movie, okay?"

He didn't say anything when I rested my head on his shoulder. All the while the movie kept playing, I could feel his concerned eyes fall on me and I had the urge to snap at him to stop staring at me. It was unnerving and I started to get very uncomfortable.

"You okay, darlin'?" he'd ask to which I would respond with a nod or a shrug.

Jasper wasn't convinced, so he pulled me more into his arms and buried his face in the crook of my neck, illiciting a small sigh from me. He smiled against my skin and then kissed it as both his hands caressed my arms and my trembling hands.

"Like I said before..." he whispers to me when the evil stepmother tricked the young maiden into biting the apple, "you may look like Snow White, but you're the fairest."

I couldn't help the small smile forming on my lips. That was very cheesy for him to say, but I began to feel a little better. With the exception of my mother, sister, and Bella, no one has ever called me or made me feel beautiful. Not even Jacob, an old friend, who is a boy, told me I was pretty. Not even pretty, but beautiful. Jasper is the only one. He's the only boy. Wait...scratch that. Man. The only man to ever refer to me as beautiful.

Besides the smile, I also couldn't help but let more tears fall. This time, these tears weren't of shameful sadness. They were of joy.

Slowly, not wanting to freak Jasper out, I tilted my head up and with my lips, placed a small kiss on his cheek as a token of my appreciation. I giggled quietly, watching the corners of his enticing lips twitch upward into a crooked smile.

"What was that for?" he said, his wonderful ocean orbs glancing at me, making me bury my face in his shoulder from embarrasment...yet again.

"I dunno." I answered, feeling my cheeks redden as my fingers toyed with the soft edges of the blanket.

He chuckled, tenderly kissing my temple while his arms tightened their hold around me. I sighed in contentment and snuggled in his warmth, wanting nothing to ruin our little moment together.

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**Short, but no worries, we're almost there. Just a few more chapters left 'til she tells him everything. Thank you guys for sticking with me, even though I haven't been around much. :) And now... If you'll excuse me, I gotta finish off the latest chappie of "Let me in." **

**Bye everyone!**


	18. Just when things were okay

**Hey, everyone :) I'm back...again. Lol! I'm sorry, but marriage-life is not as easy as it seems. Not saying that my Henry gives me grief but it's just that we have so much work to do when all we wanna do is enjoy our new lives as man and wife.  
**

**Oh well, what can you do? Nothing. Anyways...yeah, so here's chapter 18. Sorry if this is a bit short. I had writer's block and I couldn't leave you all waiting any longer. But be thankful that it's just Jasper and Alice... and no one else this time!  
**

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**Chapter 18: Just when things were okay...  
**

These past few days have been amazing. I don't really remember a time when I felt so happy. I kept finding myself laughing and daydreaming about dancing again. I felt like my old self. The untouched Alice from ten years ago.

Jasper is to blame. He's so wonderful. He's so good to me._ Very_ good to me.

Every single time I'm with him, I feel as if everything is going to be all right. I know that sounds a bit corny, but it's the truth. He's...perfect.

None of his touches scare me, for they are gentle and warm. I love how he holds me like I'm some sort of fragile glass that can easily break. I tremble in delight when his soft lips kisses my own. His charming smile always make me blush and giggle like a child. And his endearing compliments tend to make my heart weep because no one has never cherished me with words like he does.

Like I said, Jasper is perfect.

He and I were in his room. Earlier, I begged him if I could stay far away from Bella and her stupid boyfriend as soon as possible. There's no way I could speak to her after all the crap she'd done. While everyone we knew stayed in the living room, Jasper had me against the wall, attacking my mouth until we couldn't breathe.

"Damn it, Alice..." he moaned, his teeth grazing the skin of my throat as his long fingers curled in my short hair. "You're so sweet, my angel."

I sighed, my eyes fluttering as I held on to him for dear life. I swear my legs are about to give away. And the ruined spot between them was soaking my fresh clean underwear.

"What can I do to _taste_ more of you, darlin'?" he growled, kissing his way up until his lips reached mine.

"What do you mean?" I asked between kisses, my whole body trembling when his large one pressed me harder against the wall. I felt something big and thick throbbing against my abdomen.

"You know..." he answered, disrupting the kiss so he could look into my unfocused eyes. He chuckled when I frowned at him.

"No, I don't."

"I'll give you a hint." His voice was husky and it made me a little nervous.

I felt his hands slowly travel down my sides until stopping at the waistband of my jeans. The hard thing on my abdomen throbbed again as his mouth latched onto mine. I moaned.

"Figured it out yet, darlin'?" he whispered against my swollen lips, his fingers curling inside the waistband.

Once he gave it a gentle tug, I finally found control of my body and whisked my lips from his. I should've known where this was going. I could sense his disappointment but I refused to look him in the eyes. Mine were beginning to water and I didn't want him to see that.

"Jasper, no." I whimpered, my heart hammering in my chest. "Please no."

The good feeling was replaced with haunting images from my past. I don't want another repeat. There were _too_ _much_ of them already.

"Alice-"

"I'm sorry, Jasper, but I can't..." I told him, my tears blinding me as my hands tried to push him away. "I'm sorry..."

"Alice? What's wrong?"

"I can't-"

He silenced me with soft kisses as his hands stroked my wet cheeks. While he did this, I began to calm down a little.

"I'm sorry, darlin'." he said, still pressing endearing pecks all over my face. "I got carried away. I'm sorry."

I didn't say anything but let him soothe me with his gentle caresses.

"Want to head back downstairs?" he asked me, tilting my chin up with one finger.

I nodded, nervously biting my bottom lip in the process. He smiled at me, his beautiful blue eyes boring into mine, and then he leaned forward and kissed me softly.

"Come on." He said, taking my hand in his and pulling me away from the wall to the door. "Let's go."

Jasper and I walked down the stairs in silence. I kept my head down most of the time, knowing that he was stealing curious glances at me. I knew he needed an explanation of my small freakout back in his room, after all...I'm the one who suggested we should go somewhere private to avoid the others, especially Bella. I don't know, but I have a feeling that Jasper is suspicious. This wasn't the first time I freaked out when he tried to touch me beneath my clothes. Jasper would ask me if I was okay, and I keep telling him that I'm not_ ready_. It hurts every time I do that to him. It hurts when I lie to him.

Apart of me wants me to tell him. But then...I don't want to. What would happen if if I do? Would he hate me? Would he be disgusted by a girl whose lady parts have been damaged and whose spirit had been broken? Would he?

Why must I be so fucked up? Why?

"Alice, are you alright there?"

I snapped out of it and finally looked up at his handsome face. I could see myself in the dark depths of his blue eyes. I looked small, frightened, and totally helpless.

"What's wrong, darlin'?" he asked again, letting go of my hand so he could cradle my face. "Is something troublin' you?"

Tears threatened my eyes as I shook my head.

Fucking treacherous tears...

"Alice, tell me." he said, his voice a little demanding when he wiped them away.

I shook my head again, feeling more pathetic than ever. Really, why must I be so fucked up?

"Stop crying and tell me."

No answer, but a quiet sob.

"Alice, please tell me. I really hate it when you're this way."

"You'll hate me if I tell you..." I whispered, avoiding his eyes by staring at the floor below us.

"That's ridiculous." he snorted, forcing me to look at him. "You know I can never hate you."

"You will."

He sighed and then glared at me. "Try me."

After all these years of pure hell and torture, I knew that there will be one day when I'll finally open my mouth. Living day after day with a horrible secret has made me miserable and fearful of being touched. There was so many things I have missed out on. I don't want to do that anymore. I want help. I can't live in hell for the rest of my life. I have to speak now.

I gulped down the bile rising to my throat as the horrifying images of the man who raped me, more than three times, played in my head over and over.

"Jasper?" I choked, my eyes watering while trying keep to contact with his.

"Yes, Alice?" he answered, his light caresses encouraging me to carry on.

"Please don't hate me..." I begged, my voice quivering. "Promise?"

"You have my word." he swore, smiling tenderly at me.

_Here it goes..._

I took a deep breath while my gut wrenched in pain.

"I wish I could want you like you want me, Jasper...but I can't."

He was about to say something before I cut in.

"I _do_ want you." I corrected myself, "You're wonderful, but..."

I choked at the last few words. This was going to be hard.

"But...what?" he said, his brows furrowing while his eyes narrowed.

Shit, now I can't bear to look at him. He looked so lost. Seriously, why in the hell must I be so fucked up?

_Just say it already. You were raped. You were raped. You were fucking raped!  
_

How can I say that? When will I tell him? Or anyone?

_How about now!_

"But _what_, Alice?" he urged, his hands firmly grasping my shoulders.

_Say it. Now. You can do it. End this suffering.  
_

My mouth opened and my eyes locked with his.

"Alice, what is it?"

_Go. _

"I-I don't think you could be with someone as fucked up as me." I sputtered, closing my eyes as dread washed over me. "I'm-I'm not good enough for you..."

_Not even close. Tell him the truth._

"What-"

"I'm not good for you." I repeated, tears streaming down my face. I want nothing more than to run away right now, but his hands were on my shoulders, stopping me. "Th-that's why I hardly let you t-touch me like you want to..."

_Fuck's sakes, tell him the truth!_

"Alice..."

"I know I make you mad that I can't give you what you want...I'm not good enough for you-"

"Alice, stop!" Jasper snapped.

I winced. He never spoke to me like that. Ever. Shit, what have I done? I made him very mad.

"I'm sorry, Jas-"

Suddenly his lips were on mine, shutting me up. I whimpered once I felt that talented tongue of his, stroking my tongue. His large masculine hands traveled down my sides, leaving a burning trail in its wake.

He pulled away with a groan and I sighed in morose at the loss of his tantalizing kisses.

The corners of his lips tugged into a lopsided smile, revealing that adorable dimple on his right cheek. Man, I loved his smile.

Taking my face in his large hands, he said to me, "What makes you think you're not good enough for me, huh? Because you have enough self-respect to say no?"

I didn't respond, for I was too captivated by his tender gaze.

"Darlin', there's no reason why you should think that." he assured me, his fingers lovingly stroking my stained cheeks. "I'm a guy. Yeah, I know that, and just like any other man, I'm sexually-fueled. It's normal. But I'm not trying to force you into anything that makes you uncomfortable. What I said back there and did while we were making out was out of line. I was just in the heat of the moment. I'm the one who should be sorry, darlin'. Not you."

I frowned. I knew what he meant, but he doesn't understand that there's more that I needed to tell him. Just as I was about to argue, he pressed a finger to my lips.

"Look, I don't care that we're not having sex, okay?" he told me. "I only care that I'm spending time with you. That's all that matters."

And with that, he kissed me. This kiss was a bit different than the first. It was sweet and chaste, but it did nothing to soothe the guilt and pain.

How the hell should I tell him without being such a coward?

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**It's a matter of time 'til little Ali breaks. Jasper and everyone who matters need to know eventually. Just 2 or 3 more chapters for that to happen. :)**

**Until next time, everyone! And...thank you!  
**


	19. Ruined

**Hi! It's been a while, huh? Well, here's chapter 19! Enjoy... hopefully :/  
**

***Warning: Rape and other disturbances are featured a lot in this chapter.***

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**Chapter 19: Ruined  
**

_I couldn't move, nor could I scream. The only thing that I could do was feel pain. There was so much of it. I wanted it to stop but it won't. Why won't it stop? Why can't it go away? Why won't it leave me alone?  
_

_My eyes were shut. I didn't want to see what was happening to me. But once a new surge of pain impaled my small undeveloped body, they opened. My vision was blurred by my tears, but that didn't stop me from watching his face distort in pleasure as he violated me.  
_

_"Daddy..." I whimpered, "please stop...it hurts..."_

_He ignored me and pushed harder.  
_

_"You're so much better than your mother." he grunted, his movements picking up speed._

_"It hurts...please.."_

My eyes snapped open to see the plain white color of my ceiling. A surge of relief went through me when I realized it was all a dream. Well, not even a dream. It was a nightmare. Another fucking nightmare of my first assault. When will it all stop?

A small cry surpassed my lips once I placed a hand on my forehead, and gasped at the wet feel of it. It turns out I was drenched in my own sweat and was shaking uncontrollably.

"When will this stop?" I asked myself as I tried my best to calm my shivers down.

Just like any other night, of having those horrible dreams, I sit up, pull my knees to my chest, and cry. It's tiring, but what else am I to do? Those dreams always kill me. Especially that _one_...

How could he? What drove him to do such a thing? To his own flesh and blood?

I cried harder as I thought more of the first time he ruined me.

**_10 years ago_**

_"Will you and the baby be home tomorrow, mommy?" I asked, excited and anxious to finally share my room, which I had just cleaned. "I can't wait to show the baby my new drawings!"_

_"I'm sure the baby will love it, my darling girl." my mom said in a weak but happy whisper. "Now, give the phone to daddy, okay, honey?"_

_"Yes, mommy."_

_"Thank you, baby. I love you so much."_

_"I love you too, mom-"_

_I gasped when the phone was snatched from my hand. My bottom lip quivered when I looked up my father's dark eyes which were glaring at me as he spoke into the phone._

_"For fuck's sake, Mary," he growled, "You know how stressing this whole shit is."_

_I cringed and hung my head as my fingers nervously played with the bottom of my shirt. It made me uncomfortable when he swore so much._

_My mother's voice was saying something on the other line, which apparently bothered him to the point where his whole face turned red._

_"We're almost losing the fucking house! We barely are making enough to pay for anything! What makes you thing the baby will be any better? We already have Mary Alice to take care of! That's hard enough as it is!"_

_I brought my hands to my ears and felt my stomach do an unpleasant churn._

_"You know what, Mary?" he snarled as he ran his dirty thick fingers through his dark hair. "I don't have time for this. I'll see you tomorrow. Maybe by that time you'll finally get your head out of your ass."_

_He hung the phone roughly to its rightful place and turned to look at where I was standing. His eyes narrowed as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of marbolo cigarettes. He took one cigarette out and returned the rest of the pack to his pocket._

_"Mary Alice." he said, his voice very low and eerie as he placed the cigarette between his lips._

_"Yes, daddy?" I uttered, not knowing whether I should be scared or not._

_"Come here, girl." he softly ordered, a menacing spark lighting in his eyes. "Daddy wants you to do something for him."_

_I bit my lip out of nerves and slowly walked over to him._

_"Any day now, Mary Alice." he gruffed. "Pick up the pace now, kid."_

_"Yes, daddy." I told him, scolding myself to stop being so scared. It's my father, for goodness' sake! It's not like he's a stranger or anything scary._

_I now stood in front of him. He smirked and I ignored the slight pang of fear bubbling in the pit of my stomach._

_"Good girl." he said, lowering his hand on my shoulder. I shuddered a bit when his fingers curled under the collar of my shirt. "You're a very good girl."_

_"Daddy, what are you doing.." I said, shrugging his hand off my shoulder. I didn't like the way he was touching me._

_"I need you to do something for me."_

_I looked up with wide curious eyes. "With what, daddy?"_

_His smirk only got bigger and the strange glint in his eyes were flashing dangerously._

_"I need you to dig into my front pocket until you find my lighter."_

_My brows pulled together in confusion. Couldn't he get it himself?_

_"Dad-"_

_He caught me off with a glare and in an instant, I obeyed._

_My heart was pounding as I slowly buried my small hand in my father's left front pocket. I heard him groan and I gasped, fearing that I may have hurt him._

_"I didn't tell you to stop searching, Mary Alice."_

_I whispered my apologies and kept fumbling until I grabbed something solid. I sighed in content because I had found what he wanted._

_"Daddy, I found it." I told him. When I tried to pull it out, he let forth a throaty moan. I quickly took my hand out of his pocket in fear that I burned him by accident._

_"I'm sorry, daddy!" I squealed, backing away slowly from him. "I didn't mean to turn it on! I'm sorry!"_

_"Don't worry about it, kid." he said, his dark were blazing dangerously as he stared at me. I calmed down but internally I began to panic when I noticed the strange bulge in the front of his pants. What is that? My heart began to thump louder when his hand began to undo his belt as he stalked towards me. "I'm feeling a little run down, Mary Alice. I need you to take care of me for a while, okay kid?"_

_"Take care of you?" I asked, taking little steps back. "Are you sick, daddy?"_

_"Yes, I am, kid." he answered, now undoing the his button. "Come here and help dear old dad."_

_"Want me to call the hospital so you could be with mommy?" I squeaked a bit as I continued to take steps backwards until my back hit the wall._

_"There's nothing your mother can do for me now that you're here, kid." he chuckled darkly, stopping right in front of me._

_I shrieked when his hands roughly grabbed me and tossed me onto the hard wooden floor. A small whimper fell from my lips when the back of my head hit the floor. That's going to form a bump later. I felt his hands hastily tugging away my flower print shorts, along with my underwear._

_"What's going on?" I thought and I winced when I felt the sore spot on the back of my head throb._

_Just when I thought that head injury was unbearable, a new type of pain topped it. I felt like I was being split into two! It hurt so bad, that I started to cry. I wanted it to stop. What was happening to me?_

_All I could hear were grunts and groans. Where were they coming from? What was happening? I don't understand._

_"Oh shit..."_

_I screamed in agony when something impaled my most sacred flesh rather deeply._

_"So fucking good..."_

_I closed my eyes shut to will it away. But no. It kept hurting me._

_"Fuck..."_

_My eyes opened and my heart broke when I see that it's my father who is causing me this pain._

I snapped out it for the billionth time and cried, cried, and cried, for the fucking billionth time. It really did happen. It really did fucking happened. I was raped. I was fucking raped.

But why did it have to happen to me? Why? Look what it's doing to me! I can't sleep normally. Even if I do sleep, I dream about it and wake up crying afterwards. I can't explain my awkward behavior to anyone, not even my own mother or my boyfriend! Why did it fucking happen? Why can't I be normal? I want to be normal. I wish there was some sort of magic or something that can erase all these painful memories.

Fed up with all the moping, I wiped off all my tears and walked out of my room. Right now, I'm craving closure. I want to be held. I want to sleep peacefully. Most importantly I want to forget the fact that I'm a ruined human being.

I found my mother's bedroom door and opened it. Seeing my mom asleep with my little sister in her arms made me feel so guilty. The only reason Cindy sleeps with mommy is because of me. My night terrors always frighten her. It really does break my heart to see that my suffering bothers them.

Without making any noise, I carefully crept over to where they slept, and sat on the bed. Me sitting caused the bed to squeak, and that little noise woke my mom. Her eyes fluttered open and a little smile played on her lips once she saw me.

"Mary Alice?" she whispered. "Why are you awake at this time, baby?"

I averted my eyes away from hers and stared at my fidgeting fingers. "I had a nightmare. May I sleep here with you? I'm scared."

I looked back at her and expected her to say something like "Aren't you too old for that, Mary Alice?", but I was wrong. Love and concern was all I could sense from her.

"Of course you can, baby." she told me. I smiled my thanks to her as she scooted over to make room for me. Cynthia grumbled in disturbance but remained asleep.

"Mommy?" I uttered, once I made myself comfortable under the warm covers.

"Yes, baby girl?"

"Would you think less of me if I tell you a horrible secret?"

"Hmm..." she sighed, tucking me under her arm, "it depends on what you need to tell me."

"Oh, okay." I said, very disappointed by her answer and then frowned when I heard her giggle.

"I'm just kidding, Mary Alice." she laughed, causing my little sister to groan, but still didn't wake. "Of course I wouldn't do such a thing. You and Cynthia are all that I live for. You're both my baby girls."

I forced a small smile as guilt swarmed inside me. The last thing I wanted to do is disappoint my mother. I don't think she will be able to handle my horrible secret. It'll break her heart and she may hate me for not telling her after all these years.

"Mommy?"

"Hmm?" she uttered sleepily.

"I love you so much." I told her, my voice almost breaking.

Once she pressed her lips on my forehead, the tears began to fall.

"I love you too, my darling girl." she said to me. "Now go to sleep, baby."

My wet eyelids began to droop and finally I fell fast asleep.

* * *

**So there you have it! I'm not happy with it because this was pretty much painful to write. The finding the lighter in the goddamn pocket incident did happen to me. And no, my father did no such thing... it was my uncle. But have no worries! That bastard is still serving time for assault and theft. I was going to add an uncle in this story but it wouldn't make any sense. So... it's better if it was her asshole of a father. I'd figure it'll be more dramatic. And I'm sorry if this chapter offended a few of you, because rape and molestation is just so very painful. I'm sorry.**

**The title for this chapter was inspired by this play I had been reading for quite sometime. It's called "Ruined", which is about the wars in the Congos of Africa, where the soldiers take advantage of their duties, and leave their victims to suffer. The victims mostly include women, who were raped and then taken from their families so they could serve these awful soldiers. The play is called "Ruined" because the women who were raped, are considered ruined and disgrace, and are driven away by their own families. They end up in brothels. I don't want to go into it anymore, but I advise you all to read it. It is a wonderfully written play.**

**So anyways... happy to be back! Henry and I have been very busy. Right now, we are living in NYC, where dear old Sandy is paying us a visit by destroying every tree in sight. Lol. My goodness, the messes these hurricanes leave! And to answer some of you awesome readers... of course I will be finishing "Let Me In". After all these months, I'm still having trouble on what else to write for it! Damn writer's block!**

**And the next chapter of this story... I will not disappoint. I promise. :)**

**Ciao for now!**

**-Penny!**


	20. Promises and College

**Merry Christmas! Here's this chapter for now. :)**

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**Chapter 20: Promises and college**

It has been a long, long summer, and I'm not sure if I should be happy that it's over. But I guess I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Here I am, waiting in front of my house, trying to calm down my little sister, who is deathly nervous for her first day as a third grader.

"I don't wanna go!" whined Cynthia, swaying her Barbie lunchbox by her side. "I don't like school!"

"You're gonna have to deal with it, Cindy." I told her, my eyes in search for the yellow school bus.

"How come you get to stay and I can't?" she complained.

"Because I already finished." I simply answered, rolling my eyes.

She frowned at me and stopped fidgeting.

"Don't you still have to go to college?" she asked. "That's what mommy said."

"Shut up." I muttered.

"When are you going to college, Mary?"

I glanced down at her in annoyance, but let out an exasperated sigh when I saw hope shining in Cynthia's bright eyes.

"Soon." I lied, and felt horrible about it.

"Really?" she beamed.

"Really."

She squealed in excitement and wrapped her little arms around my waist. I hugged her back, feeling even worse for lying. Our little moment was disrupted once the school bus stopped in front of us. I kissed Cynthia goodbye before she hopped on the bus. I still stood there, wanting to make sure my little sister was safely seated through the bus's window. As soon as the bus took off, I waved at it until it turned to corner.

Knowing that Cynthia is safe and on her way to school, I headed back inside my house, desperate to talk to someone. Even though I enjoy having the house to myself, I can't stand the feeling of always being alone. Grabbing the wireless phone from the living room, I made my way upstairs to my room and dialed the one person I knew would comfort me.

"Hey, darlin'."

I smiled, hearing his sexy Southern drawl.

"Hi, Jazz." I giggled shyly at the nickname I'd given him a month ago. His chuckled heartily on the other line, and I felt my face heat up. Like that's anything new.

"How's my lady doing today?" He asked me. I shrugged in response but felt stupid for doing so. He can't see that through the damn phone! What's wrong with me?

"Great. I got Cynthia ready for her first day of school." I told him. "How are you?"

"That's very sweet of you." he said. "And I'm also doing great."

My smile grew bigger. I really loved talking to him.

"What are you doing right now?" I asked him, hoping he was available. I really could use some company while my mother and sister are away.

"Nothing really. Just getting my stuff prepared for school."

My smile turned into a frown. Damn, everyone is going to school. Everyone has a future but me. I'm just a waste of space.

"What about you, darlin'?"

"Nothing at all." I admitted, feeling pretty pathetic. Suddenly, I didn't feel like talking anymore. "I guess I'll leave you alone..."

"Alice, what's wrong, baby?"

I stayed quiet. I could hear his concern radiating from the other line.

"Is it something I said? Alice?"

"No, it's fine. I don't want you to be late for school. I'll talk to you later then."

Before I could hang up, Jasper's voice got loud and I pressed the phone back to my ear.

"I don't have classes today, darlin'." he told me, but it didn't make me feel any better. "It's for next week."

"Oh, okay." I muttered, still wallowing in self pity.

"I was about to call you and ask if you wanted to do something this week before I hit the books." He then laughed and added. "But it's a good thing you called first. So are you up for anything this week?"

"Mhm." I uttered quite timidly, my frowning lips slowly curving into a small smile. "I would love to be with you this entire week."

"Aww, darlin'." he drawled in endearment. "You are just too precious."

I blushed and giggled at his comment.

"I miss you." he told me, and my heart fluttered as my whole body grew warm. "I really want to see you."

"You could see me now, if you want." I said and then bit my bottom lip as my heart began to pound hard. "No one is here but me."

"Really now?" he teased. "And what should we do while no one is home?"

I giggled harder. "Talk, I guess?"

"Alright, darlin'." he said, and I could hear the anticipation in his voice. "If that's what you want, then I'll be right over."

"Okay." I said and hung up the phone.

I squealed in delight and ran quickly into the bathroom, so I could be clean and ready when my boyfriend finally gets here.

An hour later...

My teeth worried my bottom lip when Jasper took a seat on my neatly made bed. This made me nervous. This is the first time I ever allowed a boy in my room. This is so surreal for me. Just watching this beautiful man sitting on my bed made my heart pound so hard I swear it was going to burst right out of my chest.

My fingers caught the hem of my shirt once his eyes landed on me. I felt a shiver run down my spine at how his pupils grew dark as his hands beckoned me to him. Ignoring my slight trembles, I walked over to him, my eyes never leaving his.

I nearly whimpered once the rough pads of his fingers delicately brushed the heated flesh of my arms. His strong careful hands began to travel up my arms until they reached my cheeks. With the use of his thumbs, he began to caress my lips, which slightly parted at his touch.

"You are so beautiful, Alice." he whispered and I blushed, feeling a little insecure at his words. "So beautiful..."

I shivered again, feeling my nipples pucker. That's when I realized, I forgot to wear a bra. Well, great. What are the odds?

"Jasper..." I sighed, when I caught his eyes wander off to my chest.

"I swear you'll be the death of me, darlin'." he said, his voice a little hoarse as soon as his eyes drifted to mine. "There's no way I'm going to disrespect you in your own house. You deserve so much better."

He smiled tenderly at me and held me still so he could lean forward to place a soft kiss on my cheek and then on my lips. He slowly pulled away and told me to sit beside him on my bed.

When I did, he put his arm around me. I knew he sensed my awkward discomfort when he rubbed my arm and kissed my hair.

"You okay?" He asked me.

I nodded, automatically feeling a lot calmer now that I'm with him.

"You sure?"

I nodded again, turning slightly so I could rest my cheek against his side while my arms went around his middle. He shifted on the bed and without warning, leaned back as if to lay on my bed, taking me with him. I was a bit taken back by this, but quickly relaxed as soon as his hands lightly stroked my arm, which was still draped around him.

I really did feel safe with him. I'm so glad I invited him over.

We stayed like this for quite sometime, just holding each other and not saying a word. I didn't want this to end. Jasper is such a wonderful man. I loved the way he held me. I loved his gentle caresses. And I especially loved the way he called me his _darlin' _right after a simple kiss on my forehead or hair.

"Darlin'?" he suddenly said. I couldn't control the smile forming on my lips.

"Mhm?" I answered, cuddling closer to him.

"I was thinkin'..."

"Mhm?" I repeated, inhaling his natural scent as my hold got tighter around him.

"Rose, Emmett, and I are planning to throw Bells a surprise party."

"That's nice." I said, frowning when he mentioned that girl's name.

"Her birthday is on the 19th, but we wanted to throw it a little early before school starts."

"How early?" I asked, trying to sound interested. I honestly don't care about Bella.

"This Friday."

"Okay. That's nice." I said again, this time wondering why he's mentioning this to me at this very peaceful moment. "But why are you telling me this?"

I heard him sigh, and I lifted my head up to look at him.

"I just thought you and Bella should talk things out." he said, his eyes shining with reason.

I rolled my eyes and pulled myself away from his embrace, which I now regretted. I felt cold and empty.

"Alice, come on now." he sighed, sitting up as his hands tried pulled me back into his arms.

"But I don't want to." I whined. "I don't like the way she treated me the day we were at La Push."

Jasper chuckled and kiss my cheek. "I know, but you both have been friends for a long time. And she's been meaning to talk to you."

"I don't want to." I grumbled.

"Hey, don't be stubborn, darlin'." he playfully scolded me. "Come on, Alice. She feels terrible, just give her a break."

"But-"

"Alice, talk to her."

"I don't wanna."

"Alice, talk to her." he repeated, his eyes pleading with mine. "Please, baby?"

"But-"

He cut me off by claiming my lips with his. And I was so caught up with it that I huffed in aggravation when he pulled away.

"No more "buts", Alice." he said, taking my face in both his hands. "Please talk to her. She's been bugging me nonstop."

I giggled and finally gave in, earning myself another one of his amazing kisses.

It was already 2:20, and I had to send Jasper home before my little sister gets back from school. When she finally did, my mother also came home from work.

"Mommy!" squealed Cynthia as she ran down the stairs. Mom laughed when Cynthia lunged her tiny body into her arms.

"How was school, baby?" she asked her.

"It was boring, mommy!" chirped my little sister, who was still grinning from ear to ear.

"If it was so boring, then explain that smile, princess."

"I met new friends and my new favorite subject is lunch!"

Mom laughed and kissed Cynthia on her cheek before heading off to the kitchen. My little sister, however, trotted after her obviously not done telling our mother other little tale about her first day of school. I followed them, only to satisfy my sudden craving for something sweet.

"Mommy, guess what?"

"Mhm?"

"Mary said she's going to school too!"

_Shit._

I froze.

_Great. Thanks a lot, Cynthia._

I glared at her and she responded by tucking her tail like a scared rabbit. She ran away before I could mouth a threat.

"Mary Alice, is that true?" my mom asked. I winced, taking note of the happiness in her tone.

"Maybe..." I uttered and then shrugged when I began looking through one of the cabinets. I smiled to myself, once I spotted a box of Chewy bars.

"What university is it, Mary?" she continued.

I shrugged while ripping the silver wrapper of one chewy bar. I heard her sigh in disappointment which I ignored by biting into my bar and enjoying the chocolate and granola chunks mixed together.

"I knew it was too good to be true." she said, shaking her head at me. "Here I thought you took my advice and considered studying in Biloxi."

I nearly choked. There's no fucking way I'm going down there.

"Your father had it all planned out for you. I don't know why you won't take advantage."

"I don't want to go there, mom." I finally said. "I thought I made it clear."

"It's your future, Mary Alice!" she yelled. "And don't start with those smart comments!"

"I don't want to go to Biloxi." I affirmed, my eyes firmly locking with hers. "I hate it there."

"I don't care how much you hate it, Mary! I can't have you here in this house doing nothing with your life! You're going to Biloxi and that's the end of it!"

"I'm not going!" I shouted, my heart hammering as my eyes watered. "I don't want to be anywhere near _him_!"

"Oh for goodness sake, Mary Alice..." sighed my mother, bringing her fingers to massage her temples. "You're giving me a headache. Why are you not cooperating?"

"Because I don't want to go." I repeated, my eyes already wet from tears. "Please don't send me there, mommy."

My mom swore under her breath and my heart broke even more. I never heard her curse like that before. Especially with me.

"Mommy, please..." I begged, slowly walking closer to her. "Please, not there..."

"Alice, don't start that crying-"

"Mom, no. Don't send me to _him_..."

I fell to my knees before her, and wrapped my arms around her legs.

"Mary Alice, you're not a child anymore. Get up." she scolded me as she tried to pry my arms off, but they remained locked. "Stop that!"

I started to sob harder. I don't want to go with_ him_. I don't want to be anywhere near_ him_. He'll try to_ hurt_ me again... I can't put up with _that_ anymore.

My tears soaked through her dress pants as I clung to her. I wanted to do everything in my power to change her mind.

"Mom... I'll go to college..." I sobbed, earning a small gasp from her. "But not in Mississippi...I'll go anywhere else but there...please... I promise..."

"Oh my goodness..."

This may look pretty pathetic. An eighteen year old clinging on to her mother's leg like some spoiled five year old. But come on... why on earth would I want to go back to that hell? Why would I want to return to where I was first mentally and physically damaged for the rest of my life?

"Mom, please..."

I continued staring up at her, hoping she will give in to my desperate plea. She let out an exasperated sigh and little by little the sternness that was written on her face was replaced with an anguished expression.

I bit my trembling bottom lip and closed my eyes when I felt her hand lightly stroke the top of my head.

"Oh, Mary Alice." she said, her voice gentle and loving as the hand caressing the side of my head. "I really wish I knew what's going on in that head of yours."

I kept quiet, my arms still locked around her knees.

"You never explain to me why you're behaving this way."

I felt the urge to finally explain but like the coward I am, I refuse.

Carefully, without wanting to scare me, my mother unlocked my arms from around her legs and knelt with me. I fell to pieces once she pulled me into her arms.

"I'm so worried about you, baby." She said, stroking my hair as she rocked me back and forth. "Please tell me what's wrong so I could help."

I shake my head and sob harder. She pulled me away from her and took my face in her hands.

"Mary Alice, what's going on?" she demanded gently, using her thumbs to wipe my tears. "Tell me. I can't stand seeing you like this anymore."

Again, I shake my head.

"It breaks my heart, Mary..." her voice broke and her eyes watered, "that I can't do a thing when you're this way."

"Just don't send me there." I said to her, my voice a little hoarse from crying. "Please don't send me there, mommy..."

"Okay. I won't." she said, kissing my cheeks. "I promise, okay?"

I nodded while wiping the wetness from my eyes, relieved I won't go to dreaded Mississippi.

"You will at least try to apply to any college, right?" she asked me, concern still written on her face.

"I will, mom." I assured her, definitely feeling a little bit better.

"Good." she said, smiling as she hugged me. "I love you so much, baby."

"I love you too, mommy." I told her, holding on to her as if my life depended on it.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

Four days flew by very quickly. During those four days, I got my little sister ready for school. The mention of school or college, makes my stomach uneasy. I just don't know why I should go. I mean, I don't even know what I will study or what my interests really are. I remember when I was much younger, I had a passion for dancing...especially for ballet. When my mom got pregnant with Cynthia, she enrolled me in those classes just to keep me occupied. I had a lot of fun back then...now I just wish I could relive those happy moments before that bastard stole my innocence.

I sighed as I looked through some college brochures my mom got from one of her coworkers. The ones that didn't appeal much to me were thrown at the end of my bed. They were just colleges that dealt with math or anything science related. Those subjects are so boring. I struggled to pass those courses back in high school...only because they were that boring.

I held three brochures in my hand. The only three that actually caught my attention were NYU, Julliard, and CalArlts. All three promised a great career in art, which I believe I'm somewhat gifted in. I frowned, realizing that in order to enroll in one of these schools, I have to be out of state. And to be out of state, it's going to take a lot of money.

A ring interrupted my thoughts. Tossing those particular brochures on my nightstand, I picked the phone and answered. I broke into a smile when my boyfriend's voice greeted me.

"Hey Darlin'!"

"Hi, Jazz." I giggled, laying back on my bed, content that I'm hearing from him.

"Someone's in a happy mood." he teased.

"I certainly am." I said, my voice a little dreamy.

"Well, I'm glad you are." he chuckled heartily, causing me to blush, like always. "I love it when you're happy."

"Thanks, Jazz..." I uttered, not knowing what else to say.

"You're welcome, darlin'. I'm just calling to remind about Bella's surprise party tonight." He added and I frowned at the mention of it. "You're going, right, baby?"

"Umm..."

"Of course you are." he interjected, laughing when he heard me grunt in annoyance.

"But I don't wanna..." I whined. " I don't think she wants to talk to me."

"She does, darlin'." he reassured me. "I told you she kept buggin' me nonstop about you."

"I don't think I believe you."

"Ouch, baby."

"I'm sorry, Jazz, but I don't-"

"Please, baby?" he begged. "Just talk to her. She really misses you."

I huffed in aggravation, knowing that he'll continue to bug me.

"Fine." I sighed. "But you promise you'll be there when I do?"

"Of course, darlin'." he said, his tone relieved that I quickly gave in.

"You owe me." I threatened, getting up from my bed so I could start picking my clothes out for the stupid birthday party.

"I do _owe_ you." he growled teasingly and a wave of discomfort made me shudder. "Can't wait. I'll pick you up at 5."

After we said our goodbyes, I was left just standing there. The phone was still clutched in my hand while my mind wondered deeply about those four little words.

_"I do owe you."_

I shuddered again but then relaxed, knowing that I could never be scared of Jasper. Keeping that in mind, I went on deciding what in the hell I should wear for this damn party.

* * *

**I'm such a tease. I did mention that this will be the big reveal... I guess not. I'm sorry. But have no worries! It's coming! Sorry if this chapter was a bit boring and also a bit rushed. But hey? How else am I supposed to lead you all to Alice's reveal to Jasper? **

**Okay... I'm glad we've managed to survive "The End of the World". That day was insane, but it made me mad. The world can't end until I finish writing my stories or have my own children. That's very unfair. Lol.**

**Umm.. what else...what else?**

**About the Tragedy in Connecticut. Aww man. I cried so hard. My heart goes to everyone. That bastard deserves to rot in hell. How dare he go to an elementary school... A FUCKING ELEMENTARY SCHOOL... and hurt those innocent children? My heart really broke when I heard that one of the teachers put her children's life to safety but ended up losing hers. That did it for me. That mother fucking asshole.**

**(SPOILER ALERT) Alright... so I saw Breaking Dawn. It was great! I cried! I cheered! And then cried again. I'm sorry to say...but I hated Alice a little while. Not because she left. That little tramp fooled me! And I've read the book!**

**Oh well...**

**I'll post the next chappie one of these days! I hope your Christmas went well! I love you guys! And Happy New Years!**

**- Penny**


	21. Undisclosed

**Happy New Years! Here you go! I hope it's okay. I'm nervous.**

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**Chapter 21: Undisclosed**

It's four now, just another hour before Jasper gets here. I managed to shower and pick out a simple but fitted white shirt and a pair skinny jeans that I'd never paid any attention to. The last thing I needed were my chucks, but they were no where in my room. Grumbling to myself, I left my room to go see if they were anywhere around the house.

So I head down the stairs, and the first thing I see were not only my worn out sneakers, but my mother holding them by the laces with a disgusted look upon her face.

"Is this what you're going to wear to the party, Mary?" she asked incredulously while her beautiful gray-violet eyes glared at my converses as if they were the most horrific things she has ever seen.

Hang on... I don't remember telling her about my plans tonight.

"How did you know-"

"While you were in the shower, your Jasper called and told me to tell you that he'll be here a bit early."

Well, that answers that.

Once she finished scrutinizing my battered sneaker, she began to stare at me up and down.

"What's wrong, mom?" I sighed, not sure what her problem is with my attire. I thought I looked decent enough.

She shook her head in disappointment.

"Can you at least try to make an effort, Mary?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, deeply confused.

"You have a boyfriend, sweetie." she pointed out. "The least you can do to keep that handsome man of yours tied around your little finger is to doll yourself up a bit."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh my god, mom."

My mother looked bemused by my response, that she threw my beloved sneakers over her shoulders. Before I could save them, she sauntered towards me, grabbed my arm, and began to pull me up the stairs behind her.

"Mom!" I yelled, trying to yank my arm from her tight grasp. "What are you doing? Jasper will be here soon!"

"Oh shush!" she laughed, and I cringed when I caught a devilish spark in her eyes as soon as we entered my room. "Then we'll make him wait! It'll be worth it, trust me! Sit!"

I gasped when she shoved me on my bed.

"Mom, you're insane!"

"Yes, I am." she happily agreed, rummaging through my closet.

"What are you doing?"

"Aha!" she thrilled, pulling out a pink shoe box from my closet. "I knew you kept it hidden somewhere!"

She grinned from ear to ear when she opened it, revealing black ballet flats, each adorned with tiny white bows in the front.

I groaned, realizing what she was suggesting.

"Mom, no."

"Don't be silly." she chastised. "I won't let you wear those dirty old sneakers. These are much prettier!"

"But my chucks offers more protection-"

"I'm your mother." she said, her tone losing its playfulness as she handed the flats to me. "And I say wear them or else."

I glared at her, thinking that I might as well wear them. There's no need to argue with her.

She smiled again as I slid my feet into those horrible black flats.

"There." I muttered, my hands gesturing my feet. "Happy?"

She nodded slowly, with that darn smile on her face. "Not yet, I'll go get my make up kit."

I blanched, watching her run out of my room and then reentering with a giant green case.

"Relax, Mary Alice, it won't be too heavy." she reassured me, hinting my obvious discomfort once when opened the case on my bed. "You just need a little eyeliner to bring out those beautiful big eyes of yours."

Even though I don't agree with any of this, I let her do whatever she wanted so she'll leave me alone.

"My little Mary Alice is finally growing up..." she gushed, dabbing a small amount of gloss on my lips. "So beautiful! Now rub your lips together, baby."

I rolled my eyes, but did as I was told.

"Oh my goodness, you're a vision!" she squealed, happily clapping to herself. "This Jasper is in for a big surprise!"

Speaking of the devil, the phone started to ring. And standing by my bedroom door was my little sister, who held the phone to her ear.

"Jasper says he's here, Mary Alice." she said, her giant bright eyes glowing with envy when mom began to add my lips another coat of gloss, which I finally had the chance to refuse.

"Okay, thank you! Bye, mom! " I said, kissing my mom and then quickly leaving my room. I was relieved I can finally get out of here, away from my mom who has been driving me insane with whole "dolled up" nonsense.

By the time I got out of my hose, my heart skipped a beat when I saw him waiting for me in his car. Wasting no more time, I rushed over and got in the car.

"Hey, darlin'." he said, his light blue eyes appreciating my mom's work of art. "You look amazing...as always."

I giggled, leaning over to kiss him. My body nearly melted when I felt his tongue part my lips. I shivered, my eyes fluttering shut as soon as his mouth latched on to the soft and sensitive skin of my neck.

"Oh, Jazz..." I sighed, rubbing my legs together so I could ease the unholy ache between my legs. "Jasper..."

"Hmm?" he uttered, his lips still working their ungodly magic on my heated skin.

"We have to get going." I reminded him, although I didn't want him to stop.

He groaned, pulling away. I blushed and gnawed at my bruised bottom lip when his dazed blue eyes wandered to my heaving chest.

"Wow.." he finally said and then cleared his throat as he straightened himself out. "The party is at my house again."

"Okay." I replied, my eyes focused on how strong his large hands were as they gripped the steering wheel.

"You don't mind?"

I shake my head, too mesmerized by his amazing hands.

"Umm..then we should get goin'." he said as he carefully got back on the road.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

The basement party was just like before. It had the same old loud music and the same old crazy people, all soon destined to get intoxicated by the end of the night.

The only difference is that I won't behave so childish just like before. I won't get creeped or grossed out by everything I see..mainly because Jasper is here with me. With him being by my side, nothing can go wrong.

"Hey, Alice!"

My eyes widened, tuning out the music and everyone else as soon as I heard her voice.

_"I guess anything can go wrong, after all."_ I thought, holding on to Jasper's hand for support.

"It's just Bells, Darlin'." he told me, squeezing my hand. "Just make things right with her. I'll be here with you."

I looked up at his beautifully charming face and gave him an unsure as I let go of his hand. He chuckled heartily and leaned over to peck me softly on my lips before I turned around to face the girl who I refused to speak to just one month ago.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~XX~X~X~X~X~XX~X~X~XX~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~XX~x~x~X~X

It was Bella's idea to take the conversation to a much quieter place, much to my discomfort because Jasper allowed it to happen. I'll kill him. So here we are, both Bella and I sitting on one of the couches in the Hales' living room.

We just sat there. I remained still and my eyes were focusing on everything else in the room but her.

"Alice..." I heard her say, mostly in a mere whisper. I felt the cushion shift a little and I could tell it was Bella trying to sit closer to me. "Alice, please talk to me."

I didn't say anything, but winced when her hand covered mine.

"Don't touch me." I growled under my breath, uncovering my hand from hers.

"Alice, you're never going to forgive me, are you?"

I shrugged, my heart pounding hard as I tried to figure out the right hurtful words to say to her.

She sighed sadly and continued speaking.

"Listen, Ali, I'm really sorry if I made you feel bad last month."

I kept quiet, earning another sad sigh from her.

"You know I wouldn't intentionally hurt you, do you?"

_What? Listen, bitch..._

"It was never your intention, Bella?" I hissed, my eyes finally meeting hers, which were somewhat relieved that I'm answering her yet scared on the harshness of my tone. "Really? I heard what you and the others were saying about me when we pitching our tents."

Her eyes widened as her mouth opened to try clarify herself, but I didn't allow her.

"I thought you were my best friend, Bella. You knew what they were saying was mean and you never defended me!" I shouted. "You only agreed with them!"

"Alice.."

"No, Bella!" I yelled, my hands balling into fists as I stood up from the couch. "You hurt me that day, and you think a simple "sorry" would solve everything?"

She's the one the stayed quiet this time. All she could do was stare at me as my nerves began to settle, and soon enough I started to feel bad about my harsh behavior.

"I never could hate you, Bella." I admitted, trying not to hurt her as much as she did to me. "But I don't know if I should forgive what you did."

"I'm really, really sorry, Alice..." she lamented, standing in front of me.

I cringed slightly, remembering the height differences.

"Alice, I'm very sorry." she continued, her hand lightly touching my shoulder. "You're right, I should have said something instead of joining in. But you're still my best friend, and I still love you."

I felt my nose tingle uncomfortably as my eyes began to moisten. It would be too easy to forgive her now, but I did promise Jasper I'd talk things out with her. I just don't think I could let it go. She hurt me...I'm tired of letting people hurt me.

"I love you too, Bella." I told her, my voice nearly cracking. "I just don't know if we should be what we used to be..."

"Alice.."

"You hurt me, Bella." I croaked, feeling my mom's work smudging as a couple of tears dropped. "You really did."

"Alice, I didn't mean-"

"You fucking meant it!" I shrieked, completely not caring for any of her sad excuses. "You knew me for how long, Bella? How long? Wait, I'll answer for you! Since fucking high school! And this is how much our friendship means to you? Over some stupid boy?"

Her eyes narrowed.

"Don't bring Edward in this, Alice."

"Oh, you defend him, right?" I retorted, my anger spiking to the point where heat is coming out of my ears. "I wish you would defend me like that when he spoke shit about me!"

"Oh my god, Alice, you're overreacting."

"I'm not fucking overreacting!" I shouted, taking back what I said to her earlier. I don't love her at all. Right now, I hate her. "You defended that asshole! You fucking hurt me, Bella! And you know what? I don't think you're really sorry at all!"

"Alice, come on..."

"You wanted to hurt me more, is that right?" I snarled, my tears blinding me. "Is that right, Bella? Before it wasn't enough?"

I heard her sigh in frustration.

"You think I deserve more of it, do you?" I yelled, my mind completely shutting every that is happening at this very moment.

I closed my eyes, letting all the hurt, pain, and rage wash all over me. It was dark again. I'm scared now. A pained whimper escaped my lips when I felt my insides being torn apart. Over and over again.

"You want to _hurt_ me more, don't you?" I rasped, shutting my eyes tighter to escape the horrible pain. "You don't think this punishment is enough?"

"Alice, are you okay?"

Even through this horrible intense pain, I laughed.

"Really? Why are you asking me that? You shouldn't care, you're the one who's raping me."

"Sorry...What...Alice?"

"Oh stop talking." I told the monster, my body growing weak as he continued violating me. "Just hurry and take what you've always wanted."

"Alice, what the hell are you talking about?"

I cried, feeling _his_ hard fingers dig into my shoulders.

"Don't worry about it, dad." I sobbed. "Just hurry."

"Alice..."

"Please, you're hurting me."

I heard a gasp, and that's when I opened my eyes. In front of me stood a concerned Bella Swan with her hands glued on my shoulders. I raised an eyebrow when her brown eyes began to glisten. Her hold on my shoulders tightened as if she were afraid I'd run away from her.

"Ali, I'm so sorry..." she uttered, her eyes boring into mine. "I had no idea..."

I continued to stare at her while remembering what had just happened. All I know is that one minute we were talking and then another minute I was yelling at her, and then another minute passed...

My eyes widened in horror. I looked at Bella again, who is now practically in tears. Shit, she knows.

_What have I done?_

_How could this happen?_

_This wasn't supposed to happen!_

The blood running in my veins froze. Now I felt cold. I felt embarrassed. I felt shameful.

_What have I done?_

All I wanted to do now was lock myself somewhere and never show my face again.

_How could I let that slip?_

Horrified at what I've accidentally spilled, I threw Bella's hand off my shoulders and ran. I ignored her calls and pleas, and ran up the stairs until I found the nearest door. I opened it and slammed it hard behind me before hastily hiding myself under a bed.

I closed my eyes and curled myself in a fetal position. Holding my legs to my chest, I began to cry. I didn't care if my eye make up looked horrible or not. All I cared now was how much I wanted to die. I just want to put an end to this misery.

I held my breath when I heard voices right outside the door. I held myself tighter. I didn't want to be bothered. All I want is to be left alone. I really can't take this.

"Jasper, just be careful with her." I heard Bella say. "She's very fragile right now."

Just when I thought it couldn't get even worse. Jasper knows too. Bella must have told him. Fuck.

"Are you sure you saw her go in here?" He asked her. I shuddered, hearing how angry his voice sounded.

Great. Now that he knows, there's no point of him liking me anymore. I must disgust him now. Knowing that someone had already used me is probably making him sick to his stomach.

"I'm sure." she answered. "But I don't know, Jasper. Maybe we should give her some time..."

I heard him swear under his breath as the door closed and then everything went silent. I closed my eyes, relieved that he listened to Bella. She's right though, I really do need some time alone.

_"What more time do you need?"_

That damn annoying voice in my head really isn't helping me at all.

_"Say it with me, Alice. 8 years."_

No. I won't say it.

_"Need I remind you that you had kept this secret for 8 years?"_

I did.

_"All those years you've been suffering alone, and yet you still think you need more time?"_

I nodded, feeling the tears spill again.

_"Well, it's time to fight, Alice."_

I whimpered, holding my legs closer to my chest. I don't want to.

_"It's time."_

For the zillionth time, the tears began to pour and my whole body began to tremble. I closed my eyes as I silently wept. That annoying voice is right. I've suffered for so long. It's time I act. I can't do this anymore.

I choked back a sob when a large hand carefully pulled me out from under the bed. I could have fought it off, but I was too tired. I was too weak. So instead of panicking, I continued on crying.

"Shush, it's okay, darlin'."

My cries were muffled when I was pressed against something incredibly warm and hard. I felt a hand stroke the back of my head as I cried, while the other gently rubbed the small of my back.

"No one's gonna hurt you again."

"Promise?" I sobbed, tilting my head up to look into the sad, yet gentle blue eyes of my Southern gentleman.

The hand that held the back of my head to his chest, moved to gently caress my wet cheek. I whimpered pathetically when he bent his head so that his lips could almost brush against mine.

"I promise, darlin'." he whispered and then softly kissed me.

I was overwhelmed by this. How could he still hold me and kiss me like this? I've been used. I've been ripped in half. How could he not be disgusted by me?

"I'm sorry, Jasper...I'm really sorry..." I cried, pulling away from him, too ashamed to deserve any form of comfort and endearment he was giving me.

"Alice, please." he said, his hold tightening, while placing chaste kisses on both my cheeks. "Just stay."

"Jasper..." I uttered, not understanding why he's still embracing me. "I'm used...you don't want me...I'm sorry."

"Alice, stop." he affirmed, taking my face between his hands.

I bit my lip as more tears came, but were soon wiped away with his thumbs.

"Look at me."

I didn't want to.

"Stop crying, and look at me, Alice." he repeated, his voice demanding.

I stopped automatically and looked at him. I began to calm a little when his fingers started their gentle strokes on my wet cheeks.

"Listen, darlin'." he said, his eyes stern but caring at the same time. "There's no way in hell you would think that I wouldn't want you because of what that bastard did to you."

I had to cringe when those horrible memories played in my head.

"Alice, listen to me when I say this." he continued. "I would always want you, baby."

"You do?" I asked in utter disbelief. "But I'm damaged...I'm used..."

"Darlin', the way I see it..." he said, bending his head once more, "you're were never damaged. You're still the same tiny, sweet, beautiful, innocent girl I fell for since you pulled my hair in Walmart."

I didn't know what to say. I was too overwhelmed with so much grief that I threw myself back in his arms. He only held me, both his hands caressing back and my head as I let my emotions take control.

* * *

**Give me your honest opinion, because this was kind of difficult for me to write. I'll be happy to redo this chapter, okay?**

**Enjoy the New Years, everyone!**


	22. Still Fragile

**Hey! Just read! Sorry, I've been busy! But enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 22: Still Fragile**

Jasper stayed ominously quiet as he drives me back home. It made me a little nervous because I wondered if all that stuff he said to me last night were just lies. Is he secretly disgusted by me? Is he ashamed of me?

I started to replay everything that had happened after my big reveal. Jasper and I never went back to the party. So instead, we spent the entire night in his room, doing nothing but talking and embracing on his bed.

It makes my heart melt at how sweet and gentle Jasper was with me. I remember him holding me until I was too exhausted to cry anymore. He then carefully gathered me in his arms and carried me out of what was apparently the guest room, to his room right across. There, he gently set me on his bed and then laid next to me. I would've been extremely cautious but I had to remind myself that Jasper will never try to hurt me.

_He made sure I was at ease before wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him. I curled into him, enjoying his warmth. With his fingers lightly caressing my arm, his lips brushed a soft kiss on the top of my head._

_"It'll get better, darlin'." He told me as I pressed the side of my head against his chest. "I promise."_

_The sound of his beating heart brought a small smile on my flustered face. It was so calm and steady just like the way he usually is._

_"Okay." I said, my voice just a mere whisper as I nuzzled my face in his chest. He was so warm. I inhaled his sweet masculine scent and felt myself slowly drifting off to sleep...but I didn't want to sleep. Now that the truth is finally out after so many years, I feel that he has to know more. He's been so sincere and I've been selfish. He has a right to know. It's going to be hard, but... _

_"Jasper?" I whispered, my calmed heart now skipping a few beats at what else I had to confess to him._

_"Hmm?" he answered, lovingly squeezing my shoulder._

_"Umm... I...I have to tell..you something." I said, my eyes dropping in shame. "Promise you won't be angry with me?"_

_He chuckled, kissing my forehead again. "Darlin', why on earth would I be angry with you?"_

_My heart began to race as I slowly raised my head up to look at him. My breath got caught in my throat once I met those amazing blue eyes of his and that lopsided smile that showed off the adorable dimple on his right cheek. _

_Shit, this is going to be hard._

_His brows creased when he saw my defeated expression. He brought a hand to my cheek, his fingers stroking it lightly as he leaned forward to place a reassuring kiss on my lips. _

_"What's bothering you?" he asked._

_I averted my eyes, my fingers lightly drawing little circles on his chest as I thought about how I should tell him..._

_Jasper was silent as I told him everything my father had done. The first and other nights he raped me and all the nightmares of the ruthless assault throughout the years. All the while he listened to me, his soothing touch at the small of my back roughly fisted my shirt. My heart pounded harder as my eyes began to water. He was disgusted by me..._

_"Jasper..." I uttered, my voice a little shaky once I saw the anger blazing from his beautiful blue eyes. "Please say something..."_

_He didn't say anything. Instead his grip tightened._

_I fidgeted nervously in his arms, which tightened firmly around me. I felt my eyes burn again as my lips quivered. So tired of always crying in front of him, I tried to hide my face in his chest. Before I could do so, his hand caught my chin._

_"Look at me, Alice." he demanded, his gaze sincere yet still angry. _

_I whimpered pathetically, averting my eyes again._

_"Alice, I said look at me." he affirmed and this time I obeyed. "I'm sorry of what that bastard did to you. You were just a kid. You did not deserve that. In fact, no one deserves it."_

_I kept quiet as I let the tears flow. Jasper noticed, of course, and wiped them away._

_"What really bothers me, Alice..." he continued, his voice pained as his eyes still held anger, "is that you kept it to yourself for such a long time. Shit, Alice, you were ten years old. Why haven't you told anyone, especially your mom?"_

_My lips parted a couple of times to explain, but only sobs came out. _

_"I'm glad you told me, but Alice...please, your mother should know-"_

_I finally found my voice as my eyes snapped to his. _

_"No..." I sobbed, my hands desperately clutching the front of his shirt. "She can't know..."_

_Jasper's big hands covered mine, lessening my grasp and bring them up to his lips. _

_"She'll be very mad with me..." I cried harder, again burying my tear-stained face into his shoulder. "I can't tell her, Jazz..."_

_"Yes, you can." he told me, dropping my hands so he could wrap his arms around me. _

_"I can't." I stubbornly repeated._

_"Alice..." he sighed, holding me close. __"You've suffered enough."_

_I felt his lips kiss my head as he gently rocked me back and forth until I calmed down. _

_"It's time to give yourself a break, sweetheart. What happened to you happened, but you can't let that take over your life."_

_"But-"_

_"No buts, Alice." he interjected. "It's very clear that you need help."_

_"No, I don't-"_

_"Yes, you do." he affirmed, cutting me off. "From what I've seen and from what everything you've told me, you do need help. Professional help."_

_Professional help? Really? I knew it! He does think I'm insane! I fucking trusted him! I told him everything, and he automatically thinks I'm a lunatic! Great._

_I glared at him, my hands balling into fists. "Help? Are you saying I'm crazy?"_

_He frowned._

_"No." He answered curtly. "I didn't say you were."_

_"But that's what you meant by professional help." I stubbornly pointed out._

_He sighed in exasperation._

_"What I meant, Alice, is that you need to speak with someone who would help you overcome your past." he explained, gathering my face in his hands again. "Darlin', you've confessed that you still have nightmares of it, don't you want it to stop?"_

_I nervously bit my lip as I slowly nodded. _

_"Then talk to someone, please." he told me, gently stroking my cheeks, his eyes pleading. "It hurts me to see a sweet girl like you fall apart."_

_My eyes stung...for the zillionth time. My hands were shaking a bit when they rested on his._

_"Really?" I meekly asked through quivering lips. _

_"Yes." Jasper answered, his beautiful blue eyes soft as his hands caresses my reddening cheeks. _

_"Why?" _

_My heart fluttered once his head bent forward, his lips hovering over mine, which parted ever so slightly, yearning for him claim them. _

_"Because, darlin'," he whispered, his lips barely touching mine as he brought one of his hands to the back of my neck, "__You have people who care about you." _

_"Like who?" I whispered back, my breathing becoming uneven as I felt his hand trace a line down my spine. _

_I shivered once he began to close the gap between our mouths._

_"Like me." he replied before claiming my lips in a passionate but chaste kiss._

"Alice, are you listening?"

I was brought back to earth once I heard Jasper's voice. I looked over at him and then around me. I noticed we were parked right in front of my house. Turning to him once more, I wanted to say goodbye before I leave his car. And as I did so, I noticed how his hands slightly gripped the steering wheel as he stared straight ahead.

"Jasper, are you okay?" I asked, my concern building as his jaw tensed.

"I'm fine." Jasper answered, rather nervously.

I wasn't convinced, so I asked again. Now he was making me nervous.

He inhaled deeply and turned to look at me.

"Alice..." he began, sighing as his hands let go of the steering wheel to take mine. "Whatever happens or if anything becomes too stressful, you know I'm always here, right?"

I frown in confusion but nod my head.

He smiled a little and gave my hands a gentle squeeze. He kissed me goodbye and made sure I entered my house safely before driving away. Closing the door, I turned and began to make my way up the stairs to my room, that's when I heard it. A soft but pained moan. In my room.

Curious, I cautiously opened the door, and what I saw made my heart stop.

There sitting on my bed was my mother, her face blotchy and stained with tears as both her hands clutched the house phone to her heart, which kept making that annoying dial-tone sound.

I felt my own heart slowly ripping in half as I continued to stare at her. Never in my life have I seen her like this. It's hurting me.

"M-mommy?" I stuttered, my blood going cold when her eyes watered even more once they focused on me. "What's wrong?"

Her face crumpled as she watched me take a few tentative steps towards her. And I came to halt as soon as she opened her mouth.

"Mary Alice, my baby..." she sobbed, her hands still clutching the damn phone to her heart. "Why didn't you tell me?"

_Oh god no..._

* * *

**It's a little short for now, but no worries! The other chappies won't disappoint. Jasper did a pretty sneaky thing, but he just wanted to end Alice's suffering. Don't be mad at him, please. Be mad at that monster! **

**Okay! So I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's Day, I of course did. *Wink* Umm and guess what? Breaking Dawn Pt. 2 is coming out on the 2nd on dvd! Can't wait! I'm going to walmart! Woot! **

**Until next time!**


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